Asshole Animals, with Alice
Alice hosts a lighthearted weekly podcast exploring animal behavior with a comedic twist, asking why certain animals act like jerks. Each episode features a different animal expert who offers scientific explanations, hilarious anecdotes, and surprising trivia about a featured species. The show balances education with humor and playful puns, making it an entertaining listen for animal lovers.
Episodes
Episode 44 - Feral Hogs, with Vinny Thomas
If you grew up in the 80s or 90s, you'll remember how much of an effect Hogamania had on young minds, the music, the violence, the smashing of chairs on someone's back...oh wait...okay, sorry guys - I might have meant HULKAMANIA. My bad. But! You can't spell Hulk Hogan without "hog". With Alice today to talk all things hog is the fabulous Vinny Thomas, who joins her to discus
Episode 43 - Blue jays, with Max St John
Are you a millenial with a slightly nihilistic take on life? Can't afford kids but bored of gaming and doom-scrolling on Hinge? Why not take up birdwatching? If you're over 30 and wanted to feel a semblance of excitement towards something that isn't generated by pixels on a screen, birdwatching is the hobby for you! Comedian and bird-acknowledger, Max St John, comes on this episode to
Episode 42 - Koalas, with Dr Chloe Buiting
Deep in the Eucalyptus forests of Australia, a fluffy grey creature dozes peacefully in the nook of a branch, blissfully unaware that across the world, a Zookeeper and amateur comedienne is determined to get to the bottom of whether or not Koalas are "assholes" or not. Thankfully for the small-brained Koala, they never will know. And you're not going to tell them...right? Joining Ali
LIVE AT GLOBAL BIRDFAIR 2025 - Ticks, with Dr Sean McCormack
Alright, so we may need to up our PR budget for this one...NO ONE is protesting on the side of Ticks. They are bitey, blood-sucky, gross-looking little creatures that look like they belong in a sci-fi movie...or are they?It just so happens that we managed to find an expert willing to put his reputation on the line to defend the tiny Tick - vet, conservationist and hilarious human Dr Sean McCormack
Episode 41 - Iguanas, with Matt Lawrence
What do you think you know about Iguanas? That they're big ol' Lizards that hang around Florida? That they make great emotional support pets for lonely spinsters? (Shout-out to Jub-Jub from "The Simpsons").What if we told you that Iguanas are some of the most diversely located reptiles on Earth? What if we told you that they have the quiet dignitas of an animal that's achieve
Episode 40 - White-Tailed Eagles, with Hamza Yassin
It's difficult not to be jealous of Eagles, isn't it? Their giant wingspan, their majesty in the air, the gasps of wonder that follow them wherever they fly. The awe they strike upon us by simply existing in our skies is something to behold. And yet here we are - talking White-Tailed Eagles today...On the show to talk about his relationship with these majestic birds and to discuss his new
Episode 39 - Dogs, with Hal Herzog
We've really shot ourselves in the foot with this one, haven't we? What possible asshole-rating could Alice give to man's closest animal companion? The Scooby to our Shaggy? The Gromit to our Wallace? The Hachiko to our...whoever Hachiko's owner was?We brought out the big guns for this one. Anthrozoologist Hal Herzog - who studies the relationship between Humans and Dogs, joins Ali
Episode 38 - Gators, with Ellen Weatherford
If you're a Millenial, then chances are you grew up watching The Rescuers, so are somewhat traumatised by Gators, having watched young orphan Penny be tormented by Madame Medusa and her two, thicc pet alligators. But, this is reality, so we have important questions to address, the most pertinent being: "Are Gators actually assholes?", and to help Alice answer that question, we brough
Episode 37 - Hyenas, with Mamadou Ndiaye
Quick fire: what carnivore found in both Africa AND Asia is a highly intelligent, highly successful apex predator with a complex social structure? If you said Lions, then you are DEAD wrong, idiot. Today we're talking about one of the most badass animals that you probably don't know too much about (or what you DO know is incorrect...thanks, Disney) . Standing with Alice to present the best
Episode 36 - Emus, with Christian Flores
What do you think of when you think of an Emu? Dark, sweeping hair? Eyeliner? Lip piercings? Well, I hate to blow your minds, but you're actually thinking of Emos, you absolute spoon. Far less moody and listening to way less My Chemical Romance is the humble Emu, native to the chaotic Australia. Emus are tall, curious and make EXCELLENT Dads, so why are they on this podcast today?Joining Alice
Episode 35 - Rats, with Dr Evan Antin
Okay, okay. We know we're going to have to work overtime on this one, because this is a hard sell. Yes, Rats carry diseases, cause damage, eat food that doesn't belong to them and MAYBE most people are weirdly creeped out by their tail. But they are also smart, compassionate and determined individuals, so maybe you should shut the hell up. Here to give Rats some positive PR is the incredib
Episode 34 - Starlings, with Stephen Moss
It's hard to imagine that Alice would be poking fun at a bird with iridescent feathers, a beautiful flight pattern, and whose name LITERALLY means "little star", but here we are. It was hard to imagine that Donald Trump would turn out to be a wannabe Dictator....crazier things have happened in this timeline.
Here to discuss one of Britain's most under-the-radar birds is celebrated author, TV produ
Episode 33 - Tasmanian Devils, with Brian Ahearn
Side note before we get started: does anyone else remember Cadbury's "Taz"s? The chocolate bar? The one that was kind of like a Freddo but had caramel inside? What ever HAPPENED to those?
In any case, Tasmanian Devils are definitely one of those creatures that the general public knows little about, other than through the portrayal of a beloved yet crazed cartoon lunatic. Could you even DRAW a Tas
Episode 32 - Slugs, with Yussef Rafik
Quick question: how much do you know about Slug penises? Not very much? Well, that's SUPER embarrassing for you...Thankfully, Yussef Rafik (children's TV presenter/zoologist/slug enthusiast) is here to tell you all you need to know about Slugs (genitalia and otherwise).
The human experience with Slugs can probably be best described as one of "disgust", right? No one is happy to s
Episode 31 - Elephants, with James Roday Rodriguez
You've got to hand it to Elephants - for an animal THAT large, they've managed to invoke a range of emotions in us pretty well. Whether you were moved to tears by Dumbo, terrified of the Heffalumps in Winnie the Pooh or laughing at Stampy, Bart's Elephant from the Simpsons - us humans have a special kinship with these large creatures and it's about time we explored that...
Here to
LIVE AT GLOBAL BIRDFAIR: "How Many Geese?" vs "Asshole Animals with Alice"
We all love a good crossover episode, right? Jetsons meet the Flintstones, Family Guy vs The Simpsons, Angel and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Well, all of those crossovers PALE in comparison to the shenanigans brought by the teams at "How Many Geese?" and "Asshole Animals with Alice"...
Join Jack, Roddy and Alice as they set their differences aside to crown the "Worst Bird in
LIVE AT GLOBAL BIRDFAIR 2024 - with Tom Morath
Are you a certified bird nerd? Does birding in the great outdoors, come rain or shine, tickle your fancy? Are you looking to meet other bird people, while hearing about the incredible things people out there are doing to protect and preserve our winged friends? Then Global Birdfair is the place for you! It is bird lover's Mecca. It is the congregation of those who love to see nature thriving.
Episode 30 - Kookaburras, with Ned Pickett
Signs that you might be a Kookaburra:
- You love to laugh <3
- You're close with your family
- You like to keep it simple with decorating your home, instead of making your nesting complex
- You're a great partner to your significant other
- You can be a jerk at times
Kookaburras MAY just be the animal embodiment of "Live, Laugh, Love" - with close family bonds, being excellen
Episode 29 - Snakes, with Dan Rumsey
We, as humans, DO love to use animal names as insults, don't we? You might call your cheating ex boyfriend a "dog", you might call someone going to the police a "rat". Hell, you may even go as far as to call people who support Trump "sheep". It's called speciesism - look it up.
Among those brutish insult-names, is the humble Snake, which is what you might cal
Episode 28 - Coyotes, with Coyote Peterson
Growing up, your first experience with a Coyote quite possibly may have been watching a cartoon Coyote attempt, in vain, to catch and eat a cartoon Roadrunner. What if we told you that while you're rooting for the Roadrunner as a kid, as an adult you're probably identifying more with the Coyote?
With Alice this week is YouTuber, wildlife expert and all-around badass Coyote Peterson, to te
Episode 27 - Brown Bears, with Wes Larson
The term "Bear" can evoke a number of feelings depending on the context. If you're an avid hiker, hearing the word "bear" may induce a sense of sheer terror. When coupled with the word "hug", the term "bear" might be a source of comfort, especially when you need an extra-strong source of affection. If you love burly, hairy men, then "bear" may
Episode 26 - Geese, with Jack Baddams
It's difficult to imagine a more intense rivalry than Humans and Geese. We eat them at Christmas time, they terrorise our picnics. It's a feud as old as time, with countless tears and bloodshed, and yet we are doomed to torture each other as long as we both walk this Earth.
Championing the Goose's side of the war, while still acknowledging the living chaos that our feathered friends r
Episode 25 - African Wild Dogs, with Lindsay Nikole
We all know there are cat people and dog people, it's a fact of life. But just for the sake of this episode, we'll be asking all the cat people out there to take off their cat hats and consider loving instead the humble African Wild Dog. The most cat-like dog species in the world, due to the fact they are obligate carnivores, are revered in Ancient Egypt and have no time for human bullshit
Episode 24 - Toucans, with Brock Afentul
In case any of you were wondering, this episode brings Alice no joy. To be forced to dunk on your favourite animal of all time for the sake of comedy is a bittersweet and hollow experience. Listen with caution, you may be able to hear Alice's tears of sorrow...amidst the laughter.
Joining Alice to talk about the bird with the highest beauty to crazy ratio is content creator and Toucan dad - B
Episode 23 - Feral Pigeons, with Kendall Long
What do you see when you look at a Pigeon? A "dumb bird" wandering aimlessly through life? A feathered rat delving through our garbage? A government surveillance drone hell-bent on documenting your secrets?
Whether you think these things or not, Pigeons are here to stay. And they COULD just be the most stable and reliable presence in your life right now, so why not learn more about them
Episode 22 - Cats, with Jenna Fischer
The only 3 certainties in life are: Death, Taxes and the human desire to depict our cats in art. We've been reproducing their likenesses in multiple art forms since we domesticated them 10,000 years ago. From pottery, to hieroglyphics, to black and white photos - we are OBSESSED. In fact, does anyone even remember the Internet without cat videos?
As sure as the day is long, humans have foreve
Episode 21 - Crows, with Dr Kaeli Swift
It's the year 2123. With ongoing wars, a devastating climate catastrophe, and the inevitable uprising of artificial intelligence, the Human race is fractured. Only the Crows remain...
Why have Crows succeeded where other species have fallen? They've been watching us the whole time...gathering information, scavenging, communicating above our very heads. For years, we ignored them. Shooed th
Episode 20 - Penguins with Kristyn Plancarte
How often has a silly Penguin video made your day a little brighter? How often has their silliness, their child-like determination and their adorable little waddles restored your faith that maybe, just maybe, there IS some pure joy left in this world?
You're probably expecting this paragraph to now explain that Penguins are ACTUALLY the Devil and should be cancelled - but that's certainly
Episode 19 - Orcas, with Billy Heaney
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water, we're back for another round of "which member of the Dolphin family could absolutely wreck your shit if it wanted?" - and the answer, unsurprisingly, is the Orca.
You may know Killer Whales from "Free Willy", you may know them from "Blackfish", but soon enough you'll know them from your nightmares. Of
Episode 18 - Vultures, with Hillary Hankey
The phrase "Circling like a Vulture" doesn't often conjure pleasant imagery. One may circle like a Vulture over an estranged great Aunt's belongings in the months preceding her death. One may circle like a Vulture over a promotion at the Law firm where you've been busting your ass for the last 7 years. "Circling like a Vulture" implies a predatory behaviour, careful
Episode 17 - Tarantulas, with Dr Sebastian Echeverri
Webster's dictionary defines "fear" as: "an unpleasant, often strong, emotion caused by anticipation or awareness of danger". For pretty much 90% of the planet, fear in an animal form takes the shape of the humble and introverted Tarantula.
It's unclear why 8 legs and a hairy body seems to equal danger to us, but the answer is probably conditioning from media and a fea
Episode 16 - Ants, with Jack Baddams and Roddy Shaw
We. Are. Back. And kicking off Season 2 of "Asshole Animals with Alice" is a species that could almost transcend assholery due to their intelligence and their terrifying efficiency: Ants.
It may disturb you to hear that below your picnic blanket, below the loamy depths of the soil is a fully formed SOCIETY with more harmony and union than we will ever achieve as Humans. A Utopia, some m
Episode 15 - Komodo Dragons, with Adam Radovanovic
Eugh, who DOESN'T love a giant, bitey, scaley thing? It's why we all love Jurassic Park, right? In a boring world without ACTUAL Dragons, it's time we settle for the next best thing: Komodo Dragons - whom, despite being wingless and unable to breathe fire - can still turn your blood cold if they run after you.
After dodging an incredible 14 episodes of the podcast, it's high time
Episode 14 - Macaws, with Barbara Heidenreich
Well, well, well. If it isn't the infamous Macaw episode...
As you guys know, the possibility of a Macaw episode has been thrown around a lot on this podcast. No one thought it would happen. No one DREAMED it would happen. But yet, the wait is finally over, and what better person to help discuss one of the most intelligent species of bird on the planet than Avian behaviour expert and celebrate
Episode 13 - Australian Magpies, with Dr Gráinne Cleary
When you think of "fear", you might think of spiders or snakes. High-up places, cramped places, public speaking or, heck, even Clowns. Maybe giving a talk on a high-up podium at a crowded Clown convention scares you, who knows?
For Australians, there is Swoopophobia, which is the term I just made up for getting swooped by the Australian Magpie. As if Australians needed another thing to
Episode 12 - Bats, with Rhiannon Traish-Walker
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you an important message: it turns out that the Goths were right - Bats are actually pretty fucking rad.
From taking care of those pesky mosquitoes that threaten to ruin your vacation, to pollinating the agave plant that is used for the tequila you're inhaling while you're on vacation, Bats are actually doing you a solid by helping you relax on your go
Episode 11 - Triggerfish, with Kate Sheridan
Hey! You! Yeah, you. Ever heard of a Triggerfish? Probably not, right? Maybe you're thinking: "Yeah but there are SO many animals I've never heard of, why should I care about this one?" and that's where this podcast comes in - to tell you to get your head out of your ass and start paying attention.
If you're a lover of the ocean, a fish-eater, a fish-hater, someone wanti
Episode 10 - Dolphins Part 1, with Bertie Gregory
Somewhere...buried deep in a landfill... lies the bright, glittery Dolphin merchandise of your childhood. You know what I'm talking about. The stickers, the fake tattoos, the dangly earrings. Maybe even a mood ring with a Dolphin on it? Close your eyes and travel back to the past, when deciding where to put up your awesome new Dolphin poster was the biggest problem in your life. Hate to break
Episode 9 - Sharks, with Megan McCubbin
Were you ever picked on as a kid because you didn't want to go in the swimming pool in case there was a Shark in there? Does the Jaws theme tune STILL make your heart rate quicken to this day? Good news: you were the victim of the media's Shark fearmongering and you COULD be entitled to compensation! Your reparations for this heinous crime include getting to learn why Sharks are awesome an
Episode 8 - Opossums, with Rick Schwartz
What do we truly know about Opossums? We know they like to eat trash, that they like to come out at night, and we also know they're about non-confrontational as it gets, even faking their death to get out of an awkward situation. Can we not say that at least one of those things are true about ourselves? Take a look in the mirror, people!
Join Alice as she busts myths and changes hearts and mi
Episode 7 - Seagulls, with "Lucy Lapwing"
Afraid to go to the beach, lest some feathered bandit steal the chips you've been waiting all day for? The chips that probably cost around £12 nowadays in this economy? Well, consider this episode your immersion therapy - but the only thing that'll be hijacked during this podcast will be your hearts - for these sassy, savvy scroungers. You're welcome.
Join Alice and bird-nerd "Luc
Episode 6 - Sloths, with Ana María Villada Rosales and Andrés Bräutigam
Are you curious to know why Sloths are better than Jackie Chan? Want to hear stories of these baby-stealing, frog-butt-munching, animatronic animals? Look no further, my friends. Rest your weary eyes, sit back and listen to the dulcet tones of the jungle, with Alice's hilarious guests all the way from Costa Rica - Wildlife Veterinarians Ana and Andrés.
Did you think Sloths were cute and cudd
Episode 5 - Red Foxes, with Chris Packham
This week on "Asshole Animals, with Alice", Alice is joined by the inspirational and punk-rock Chris Packham today to talk all things Red Fox – dispelling myths about their asshole nature and also finding the time to discuss Pangolins, Disney and Jimi Hendrix. If you love The Really Wild Show, Springwatch, or any of Chris Packham's other many wildlife projects - this episode is NOT t
Episode 4 - Meerkats, with Dan Sutton
This week, Alice takes a journey to the Kalahari desert to discuss the most murderous, mischief-making mongoose species: Meerkats! She's joined by the brilliant and hilarious Dan Sutton, who helps her answer the question you've all been dying to know: Are meerkats heavier than a cloud? Have a listen and never view Timon the same way again!
Our Charity of the Week this week is the African Wildlif
Episode 3, Otters with "Jungle Jordan".
Ever wondered how long it takes for an Otter to get into drag? The incredible YouTube and Instagram sensation Jungle Jordan joins Alice this week to discuss all things squeaky and bitey as they dive into the world of Otters! A strong start to the "Animals who look cute and cuddly but are actually gigantic assholes" anthology, prepare to have your world shattered as you learn more about these whims
Episode 2 - Yellowjacket Wasps with Dr Greg Dickens
Have you ever found yourself wondering what type of band a Yellowjacket Wasp would be in? Ponder no further! The brilliant Dr Greg Dickens, Wild-animal vet, Cambridge-graduate and militant Wasp-apologist, joins Alice this week to discuss our least favourite picnic companions! Guaranteed to change the way you think of these sting-happy little bastards, tune in to see what all the buzz is about!
Yo
Episode 1 - Capuchins, with Yve Morrin
Did you know that Capuchins get high off of Millipedes? Or that Dolphins can swim through trees? Find out some more incredible facts and get into some real monkey business when Alice talks to Primatologist, Yve Morrin, about her experiences (and horror stories) with Capuchins!
Episode 0 - An Introduction to Asshole Animals, with Alice.
Love animals? Love it when they're jerks? Love hearing an English Zookeeper tell her stories of working with said jerks? Love solving mysteries of why Mother Nature can make animals such jerky jerks? Buckle in, my friends. We're going on a WILD ride to explore animal behaviour in a comedic fashion, and I'm your tour guide - Alice. Exits are to your left and please keep your hands inside the vehicl
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