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Cleave: The Podcast

Cleave: The Podcast

Jon and Ashley Lefrandt 62 Episodes Aug 15, 2026

Cleave: The Podcast is a faith-centered podcast hosted by Jon and Ashley Lefrandt. It focuses on marriage, boundaries, family systems, healing, and holding fast to truth from a Christian perspective. The hosts discuss leaving unhealthy patterns and cleaving to God, your spouse, and your covenants, especially when facing family pressure or relational pain. Topics include Christlike boundaries, forgiveness, reconciliation, emotional safety, and generational healing. Resources and support are available at leavethencleave.com.

Episodes

Episode 61. The Emperor’s New Clothes: When a Family Is More Committed to the Image Than the Truth
Episode 61. The Emperor’s New Clothes: When a Family Is More Committed to the Image Than the Truth Aug 15, 2026 00:18:26 What happens when a family becomes more committed to protecting its image than confronting the truth?The Emperor’s New Clothes was written nearly 200 years ago, but it may be one of the most powerful illustrations of an unhealthy family system.Everyone can see what’s happening.Everyone participates in the illusion.And then one person finally says what nobody else is willing to say.Suddenly, the pr
Episode 60. Father’s Day Hurts: Grief, Father Wounds, and the Legacy of Good Men
Episode 60. Father’s Day Hurts: Grief, Father Wounds, and the Legacy of Good Men Jun 19, 2026 00:39:14 Father’s Day can bring up a lot more than celebration.For some, it brings gratitude. For others, it brings grief, longing, anger, regret, or the ache of a relationship that is not what it should have been.In this episode, Jon shares a deeply personal reflection on fatherhood, grief, generational legacy, and the kind of man he is striving to become. He talks about losing his own father to brain can
Episode 59. Q&A Part 2 | Reconciliation Without Accountability?
Episode 59. Q&A Part 2 | Reconciliation Without Accountability? Jun 8, 2026 00:31:37 DescriptionCan reconciliation happen if someone refuses to acknowledge what they did?In Part 2 of this Q&A conversation, we talk about what reconnecting should look like after no contact, especially when the other person refuses to admit wrongdoing or take accountability.We also address the belief that family estrangement is always caused by Satan or evil forces trying to destroy families — an
Episode 58. Q&A Part 1 | Honoring Parents Without Enabling Dysfunction
Episode 58. Q&A Part 1 | Honoring Parents Without Enabling Dysfunction Jun 5, 2026 00:31:34 DescriptionWhat does it really mean to honor your parents as an adult — especially when the relationship has become painful, controlling, or unhealthy?In Part 1 of this Q&A conversation, we talk about the difference between childhood obedience and adult honor, why boundaries are not dishonor, and how to navigate family relationships when peace requires truth.We also answer a tender question: W
Episode 57. We Don’t Talk About Bruno: Encanto, Family Trauma & The Scapegoat Story
Episode 57. We Don’t Talk About Bruno: Encanto, Family Trauma & The Scapegoat Story May 27, 2026 00:56:35 Was Encanto really about magic… or was it about family trauma?In this episode of Leave Then Cleave, Jon and Ashley unpack Disney’s Encanto through the lens of family systems, generational trauma, scapegoating, emotional roles, truth-telling, and healing.Why did We Don’t Talk About Bruno resonate with so many people?Why did Mirabel feel so familiar to those raised in emotionally complicated familie
Episode 56. Love Is Not Compliance: The First Truth of Christlike Boundaries
Episode 56. Love Is Not Compliance: The First Truth of Christlike Boundaries May 19, 2026 00:29:59 For many Christians, the hardest part of setting a boundary is not the boundary itself.It is the guilt.The fear that saying no means you are selfish.The fear that needing space means you are unforgiving.The fear that limiting access means you are dishonoring your family.The fear that protecting your marriage, your home, your peace, or your children somehow means you are failing to love like Jesus.
55. How to Recognize the Fruits of True Repentance
55. How to Recognize the Fruits of True Repentance May 12, 2026 00:39:40 How can you tell if someone has truly repented?In this episode of Leave Then Cleave, Jon and Ashley talk about one of the most confusing dynamics in faith-based families: when someone claims repentance but refuses accountability, repair, or honest conversation about the harm they caused.Using Christ’s teaching that “by their fruits ye shall know them,” they explore the difference between true repe
54. When They Won’t Change | Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Christlike Boundaries
54. When They Won’t Change | Forgiveness, Reconciliation, and Christlike Boundaries May 6, 2026 00:51:05 This is Part 2 of our conversation with Rachel Wood on boundaries.In Part 1, we talked about why boundaries are not unchristlike, how people-pleasing can become a form of control, and why healthy love requires truth, agency, and self-respect.In Part 2, we move into one of the hardest questions many people face:What do you do when you are trying to get healthy, but the other person does not want ac
53. Boundaries Are Not Unchristlike | Why Love Requires Truth, Agency, and Self-Respect
53. Boundaries Are Not Unchristlike | Why Love Requires Truth, Agency, and Self-Respect May 4, 2026 01:03:15 One of our most-listened-to conversations is back.This episode originally aired a couple of years ago, when our podcast had a different name and a much smaller audience. But as our community has grown, we realized that many of you have probably never heard this conversation before, and it continues to be one of the most important discussions we’ve ever had.In this episode, we are joined by our fri
52. Boundaries Didn’t Ruin Our Life. They Gave It Back.
52. Boundaries Didn’t Ruin Our Life. They Gave It Back. Apr 28, 2026 00:48:29 If you are afraid that setting boundaries, going no contact, or disappointing your family will ruin your life, this episode is for you.Most conversations about boundaries focus on what they cost.The grief.The backlash.The loneliness.The fear of being misunderstood.The pain of relationships changing.But in this episode, Jon and Ashley talk about what boundaries can give back.After years of people p
51: When Faith Gets Weaponized | Peacemaking, Boundaries, and Spiritual Control
51: When Faith Gets Weaponized | Peacemaking, Boundaries, and Spiritual Control Apr 21, 2026 00:46:01 What do you do when a sermon, a Bible verse, a conference talk, or a spiritual principle gets used against you?In this episode, we talk about a painful dynamic many people experience in unhealthy family systems: when teachings about peacemaking, forgiveness, humility, honor, or reconciliation are twisted into pressure, shame, control, or spiritual superiority.This conversation was prompted in part
50: Q & A Part 2 | How to Stop Letting Family Live Rent Free in Your Mind | Discussing Marriage, Siblings, and No Contact
50: Q & A Part 2 | How to Stop Letting Family Live Rent Free in Your Mind | Discussing Marriage, Siblings, and No Contact Apr 12, 2026 00:44:22 What do you do when your spouse has not fully left and cleaved? Why do siblings experience the same family so differently? And how do you stop letting unhealthy family dynamics live rent free in your mind long after distance has been put in place?In Part 2 of this Q&A episode, Jon and Ashley respond to some of the most common and painful questions they hear from this community around marriage,

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