A Little Help For Our Friends
A Little Help For Our Friends is a mental health podcast hosted by Dr. Kibby McMahon, a licensed clinical psychologist and CEO of KulaMind. Each episode explores the psychological issues that loved ones may be struggling with, offering scientifically informed perspectives on topics such as toxic relationships, narcissism, trauma, and therapy. Dr. McMahon draws on her training from Duke University and her own clinical experience, mixing evidence-based insight with personal stories and listener questions. The show features both solo episodes and conversations with guests, including therapists, doctors, and public figures like Zac Clark, Ben Higgins, and Jenna Cooper. New episodes are released every other week.
Episodes
Why Young Men Feel Lost: Looksmaxxing, Dating & the Self-Improvement Trap
What’s going on with young men?In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with Connor to unpack the rise of looksmaxxing and what it might reveal about a much bigger problem: young men feeling increasingly lost, lonely, angry, and unsure of what they’re supposed to be working toward.They explore how dating apps, social media, changing career paths, AI, rising costs, and the breakdown of traditio
BPD Splitting: Why Someone Can Go From Loving You to Hating You
One minute, you’re the person who understands them better than anyone. The next, you’re the enemy. What causes that sudden shift?In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains what’s commonly called “splitting” in borderline personality disorder (BPD), why intense emotions can lead someone to see themselves or the people they love as all good or all bad, and what’s happening psychologically when that
How Social Media Is Changing Our Personalities | Dr. Kibby McMahon & Connor Flannery
What is social media actually doing to our personalities, relationships, and sense of self?Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with social media strategist and Pugs Media founder Connor Flannery to explore the psychology of growing up online.They talk about why negative comments can affect us so deeply, how parasocial relationships can become a substitute for real connection, what happens to empathy when
Why It’s So Hard to Trust Someone After Addiction
Your loved one is sober. They’re getting help. They’re doing better.So why is it still so hard to trust them?In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon explains why trust doesn’t automatically return when someone enters addiction recovery. After months or years of broken promises, secrecy, unpredictability, or hurt, you may still be waiting for proof that things are really different.You’ll learn why recov
When You Don’t Feel Seen: Why Validation Can Change Everything
What happens when you’re overwhelmed, triggered, or emotionally flooded and the person you love just doesn’t seem to understand?In this episode, Dr. Kibby gets personal. Fresh from an experience that left her feeling overwhelmed and unseen, she shares what it feels like to be on the other side of an empathy breakdown.She explores why feeling judged or invalidated can turn an already difficult emot
How Childhood Trauma Affects Adult Relationships | EMDR Explained with Jessica Connell
How can experiences from childhood continue to shape our relationships decades later? And can trauma responses actually be changed?In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon sits down with psychotherapist and executive coach Jessica Connell, LCSW, to explore developmental trauma, EMDR, and the ways our early experiences can influence how we connect with others.Jessica explains what developmental trauma ca
How to Support Someone in Addiction Recovery: 6 Things That Actually Help
When someone you love gets sober, it can feel like everything should finally be okay. But addiction recovery isn’t an on/off switch, and for loved ones, this stage can bring its own fear, uncertainty, and challenges.In this episode, Dr. Kibby McMahon shares six research-backed ways you can support someone in addiction recovery while also protecting your own well-being.We cover:• How to make treatm
3 Lessons I Learned From a Year of Change, Growth & Letting Go
In the season 6 finale of A Little Help for Our Friends, Dr. Kibby McMahon looks back on a year of major change, both personally and professionally, and shares the three biggest lessons she’s taking with her into the next chapter.Kibby talks about what it means to let go of roles and relationship patterns that no longer fit, why real growth often comes from consistency and the right support, and w
Does Therapy Really Have to Take Years?
Most people think therapy means talking about your past for years. But what if that's not always true?In this episode, Dr. Kibby is joined by clinical psychologist Dr. Chandler Chang, founder of Therapy Lab, to explore how mental health treatment is changing. They discuss why many people expect therapy to last indefinitely, how targeted, evidence-based treatments can often help much more quickly,
5 Things That Make Therapy Not Work
This episode breaks down practical strategies for getting more out of therapy and the common mistakes that can quietly get in the way of real progress.Have you ever left a therapy session feeling better for an hour, only to find yourself stuck in the exact same patterns a week later? Or wondered why someone can spend years in therapy without seeming to change?In this episode, Dr. Kibby explores th
How to Talk to Someone About Getting Help When They Don’t Think They Need It
This episode shares practical strategies for how to talk to a loved one who is struggling with mental health about getting therapy.Have you ever said to someone "You need therapy" or "why don't you get help?" when they seem like they're struggling? Then what do you do if your loved one clearly needs help but feels defensive, misunderstood, or convinced that therapy isn’
How I Married My Wedding Officiant: My Story of Building my Dream Family
In this episode, Dr. Kibby shares her deeply personal story of infertility, attachment trauma, and the unexpected path that led her to motherhood. How do you build a family when the journey doesn’t go the way you planned? And what happens when control, willpower, and even the best-laid plans aren’t enough? In this honest and vulnerable episode, Dr. Kibby opens up about the heartbreak, uncertainty,
The Generational Divide In Families: Bridging the Gap Between Boomer Parents and Millennial/ Gen-Z Children
In this episode, Dr. Amy Todey joins Dr. Kibby to talk about the generational divide in modern families and how families can navigate difficult relationships.Are Boomer parents all narcissists? Or are the younger generations just fragile snowflakes? In this episode, Dr. Amy Todey joins Dr. Kibby to discuss how the generational divide in family relationships is deeper (and more fragile) than most o
BPD Rage: Why Anger in Borderline Personality Disorder Feels Uncontrollable and How Loved Ones Can Calm It
This episode explores the biology and nature of anger in borderline personality disorder ("BPD Rage") and practical strategies family members, friends and partners can use to respond to BPD rage. Some people get angry, while some people just see red. In this episode, Dr. Kibby lifts the veil on what’s happening in the brain during these emotional storms and shares proven strategies to ma
Youth in Crisis: What To Do When a Teen or Adolescent Wants To Hurt Themselves
This episode describes how to respond when a teen, adolescent or young adult says they want to hurt themselves or kill themselves.It's horrifying when someone as young as 12-20 years old says they want to take their own life. When a teen or young adult confesses thoughts of hurting themselves or even hints at a plan, panic often kicks in...but what you do next can mean the difference between l
Dissecting Antisocial Personality Disorder: What It Is and How It Affects Relationships
This episode explores the complexities of Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD) and its impact on relationships. Are you close to someone who's charming but unreliable, impulsive, and manipulative? Dr. Kibby delves into the behaviors often associated with ASPD, a personality disorder that comes with a pattern of violating other people's rights, lack of empathy, and dangerous behaviors for thrill
5 Mental Health Disorders People Mistake for Narcissism
This episode dives into the mental health conditions and behaviors often mistaken for narcissism. When someone you love struggles with mental health and acts selfishly, the internet will immediately tell you that they're "a narcissist." However, you might be overlooking an underlying condition that just looks like narcissism on the surface. In this episode, Dr. Kibby reveals the five
Unmasking Manipulation in Toxic Relationships
This episode breaks down what manipulation is and why it's so common in relationships with people struggling with mental health. It also gives actionable strategies for resisting the effects of manipulation.Have you ever been in a relationship where you found it hard to think for yourself? You somehow make decisions that are out of character and doubt yourself so much, you're not sure what
How to Set Healthy Boundaries in High-Conflict Relationships
This episode talks about setting healthy boundaries in high-conflict relationships with people who have intense, dysregulated emotions.If you're in an emotionally charged or high-conflict relationship, you struggle to say "no" or assert yourself. If you’ve ever felt blindsided, criticized, or powerless in high-conflict moments with loved ones, this episode reveals the proven framewor
"That Never Happened": How Out-Of-Control Emotions Warps Memory
This episode talks about how mood, especially dysregulated emotions, affect memory. It explains why people with emotional issues may have such a different perspective and memory for things that happened in the past. If you're close to someone with big emotions, you've probably gotten into an argument with them about something you remember...very differently than they do. You bring up somet
Unpacking the Controversy: BPD vs. CPTSD and the Path to Healing with Kaytlyn Gilner
This episode features a conversation with Kaytlyn Gilner, a mental health advocate and host of the "Not So Dumb Blonde" podcast. We delve into the complexities of complex post traumatic stress disorder (CPTSD) and borderline personality disorder (BPD), exploring the nuances and overlaps between these diagnoses. If you struggle with intense negative emotions, difficulty with intimacy, low self-este
Navigating Mental Health Crises: A Guide to Overdose, Self-Harm & Suicide Risk
This episode gives a step by step guide to managing mental health crises like self-harm, suicide, or overdose threats.Most people feel completely helpless when someone they love descends into a mental health crisis but what if you had a clear, plan that could save lives? In this episode, Dr. Kibby shares the insider knowledge she gained from working in psychiatric emergency rooms and supporting fa
Parenting Adult Children with Borderline Personality Disorder
This episode gives parents of adults with borderline personality disorder insights into the experience of parenting someone with BPD and strategies for supporting their children. When your child struggles with intense emotions, it's heartbreaking for any parent. But when you're a parent of an adult child with borderline personality disorder (BPD), you're walking on eggshells trying not to make thi
Why We Chase the Unavailable: The Clinical Roots of Anxious-Avoidant Relationship Cycles
This episode explores the psychology of why we chase emotionally unavailable partners.Are you caught in a cycle of pursuing those who seem just out of reach? In this episode, Dr. Kibby delves into the psychology behind why we chase those who are hard to get. She talks about to main principles that drive this behavior, from behavioral economics to the neurobiology of attachment. She unpacks the att
The Surprising Truth About Parenting Teens: Why Control Backfires and Connection Wins
This episode is a conversation with Dr. Cam Caswell, "The Teen Translator," about how to actually connect to your teen who's struggling.Most parents feel powerless when it comes to connecting with their teens (or a loved one that ACTS like a teen), especially when they struggle with anxiety, depression, or other intense pain. In this episode, Dr. Kibby gets golden insights from Dr. Cam, an adolesc
Schizoid & Schizotypal Personality Disorders: When You Believe In Magic
This episode explains what schizotypal and schizoid personality disorders are, how they're diagnosed, and what treatments may work. Do you know anyone who marches to the beat of their own drum?...Even drums that no one else can hear? Most people with schizoid or schizotypal personality disorder are misunderstood, yet their unique traits can be seen as adaptive or even vital in the right contex
Paranoid Personality Disorder: When No One Can Be Trusted
This episode describes Paranoid Personality Disorder including how it's diagnosed, how it develops and how its treated.Most people don’t realize how deeply paranoia can shape a person's entire world and how misunderstood this silent struggle really is. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks the complexity of paranoid personality disorder, revealing why so many suffer in silence, feeling unseen and alo
The Psychology of the Manosphere: How Loneliness and Disempowerment Fuel Violence
This episode explores the psychology behind the manosphere, online communities that promote men's power over women and resources. Most men today feel more disempowered and lonely than ever, despite the world’s vast commitments of power and wealth. In this episode, Dr. Kibby exposes the psychological roots of the Manosphere- a shadowy online movement that preys on young men’s humiliation, disco
Avoidant Personality Disorder: When Fear of Rejection Consumes You
This episode delves into the silent struggle behind avoidant personality disorder, the crippling fear of rejection, and how treatment is finally making progress.Are you or someone you love trapped in a cycle of loneliness and fear of rejection? Recent research and real-life case studies reveal powerful new insights about avoidant personality disorder, this deeply misunderstood disorder that’s like
Does getting diagnosed with a "personality disorder" mean you're a bad person?
This episode explains what it means to be diagnosed with a "personality disorder," including how psychologists understand what personality is, when it's pathological, and how clinicians diagnose it. Is "borderline personality disorder" or "narcissistic personality disorder" a fancy term for "toxic"? In this episode, Dr. Kibby dives deeper into the nuance
Unpacking the Stigma of Addiction and How It Still Shapes Care Today with Dr. Jonathan Avery
This episode is a conversation with Dr. Jonathan Avery about why addiction has so much stigma and how that has stopped patients and families from getting real help.Most people still view addiction through a lens of shame and judgment, yet experts like Dr. Jonathan Avery are transforming how we understand and support those struggling. Dr. Avery is Vice Chair for Addiction Psychiatry and Professor o
Healing with Plant Medicine: A New Path to Trauma Recovery for Cancer Survivors
In this deeply personal episode, Dr. Kibby shares her transformative experience at a healing retreat for breast cancer survivors, centered around a special plant medicine. Can alternative forms of mental health treatment heal wounds that even therapy can't touch? In this episode, Dr. Kibby recounts journey of deep healing through plant medicine, facilitated by a supportive community of women a
Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (cPTSD): What is it and how does it compare to borderline personality disorder
This episode describes what complex Post Traumatic Stress disorder (cPTSD) is, how it's diagnosed, and how it's different to similar disorders like PTSD and borderline personality disorder. This episode was inspired by the angry comments on Dr. Kibby's latest reel on spotting emotion dysregulation in borderline personality disorder. When someone has a history of childhood trauma and th
How Peer Support Is Filling Gaps When Traditional Mental Health Care Fails with Mike Meaney
This episode is an interview with Mike Meaney, CEO and founder of One Small Step that provides peer support to people with mental health and addiction crises. He discusses his own personal recovery journey that inspired him to become a certified peer.Most of us underestimate how critical peer support can be in mental health and addiction recovery- until we hear stories like Mike’s, who turned his
The Man-Child Syndrome: The Psychology of Men Who Refuse to Grow Up
In this episode, Dr. Kibby breaks down the psychology behind the "Man-Child Syndrome," when men stay emotionally immature and avoid real responsibility.Do you know a grown man who clearly wants to stay a boy forever? Maybe he's fun, charismatic, adventurous and creative but...he runs away from adulthood. He's afraid of commitment, avoids responsibilities, and expects everyone els
From Toxic Patterns to a Healthy Marriage: 5 Mindset Shifts To Find "The One"
This episode shares five mindset shifts that helped Dr. Kibby stop chasing toxic relationships and finally find a real life partner.How do you know when you've found "the one"? Disney movies and rom coms aside, how do we even figure out who should we spend the rest of our lives with? Dr. Kibby breaks down the five giant shifts in perspective that led her to the right husband: choosin
Interview with "Rosemead" director Eric Lin: Turning an Haunting True Story into a Conversation about Stigma
This episode is an interview with Erin Lin, the director of the movie "Rosemead" starring Lucy Liu and Lawrence Shou.How do you turn a haunting true story about family mental illness into a national conversation about stigma? This is the third and final episode of the series diving into the movie "Rosemead," a moving true story about how a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu) faces schizo
Interview with "Rosemead's" Lawrence Shou: Schizophrenia And A Mother’s Love
This episode is an interview with Lawrence Shou, the star of the movie "Rosemead" alongside Lucy Liu.A headline never tells the whole story, and the movie "Rosemead" refuses to let us look away. In this episode, star of "Rosemead," Lawrence Shou, unpacks a true-story-inspired film about a Chinese immigrant mother (played by Lucy Liu), a teenage son named Joe (Shou) navigating schizophrenia, and th
Why 2025 Was a Lonely Year And How To Rebuild Connection
Message us here!Well, 2025 is almost over and by all accounts, it was one of the hardest for mental health across America. The past year felt like emotional sandpaper: unstable jobs, AI anxiety, and a constant stream of obligations that made even simple days feel crowded. Beneath all that noise, a quieter force did much of the damage: loneliness. In this episode, Dr. Kibby unpacks why January ofte
Detox From People Pleasing: Breaking Free of the "Echo-Narcissus Syndrome" And Becoming Your Own Authority
Message us here!Ever felt like your worth depends on how useful you are to other people? Turning the big 4-0 pushed me to confront a lifelong habit of people pleasing. In this episode, I talk about people pleasing: how it took root in chaos, hid behind “being nice,” and quietly drained my energy, confidence, and joy. I unpack what research says about what "people pleasing" is, how chronic pleasing
Interview with "Rosemead's" Anzi DeBenedetto: How family and friends fail when loving someone with mental illness
Message us here!A mother, a son, and a community caught between love and stigma: the new movie "Rosemead" (produced by Lucy Liu) hits like a quiet earthquake. After watching the early screening, I ugly-cried when I found out that it was based on a true story. Because the story tackles the complexities of loving someone with mental illness, I just had to talk about it here. In this episode, I sit d
Holiday Survival Roadmap For Dealing with Your Dysfunctional Family
Message us here!Holiday gatherings promise connection, but so many of us walk in bracing for old patterns: the comment that lands like a dart, the sibling rivalry that never grew up, the invisible work of keeping the peace. In this episode, I delve into why this season can feel so raw and how to survive it when your family reunions don't resemble a Hallmark card.I also talk about this year’s surg
Breaking the Deadlock: How To Flip The Switch on Constant Conflict
Message us here!Ever feel a conversation snap from “let’s talk” to “we’re yelling” in seconds? When you find yourself butting heads with someone over a "sensitive" topic, it can seem impossible to get on the same page. In this episode, I unpack a research-backed way to dissolve stalemates and actually influence change without steamrolling the person you love. The trick isn’t the perfect comeback:
Interview with Dr. Elsa Friis: How Parents Can Tackle Taboo Topics Without Breaking Connection
Message us here!Are you avoiding talking to your kids about topics that are just...awkward? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Elsa Friis, clinical psychologist and VP of Product at Alongside, to unpack a practical way to tackle taboo topics (sex, porn, consent, screens) without burning the bridge you’re trying to build. Dr. Friis takes us from a group home with twelve boys to community-led parentin
Interview with Dr. Geoffrey Grammer: New Frontiers in Treating Depression When Meds Fail
Message us here!What if you've tried everything, but are still depressed? Did you know that one third of people with depression don’t get enough relief from antidepressants? In this episode, I talk to psychiatrist and CMO of Neuronetics, Dr. Geoffrey Grammer, about what should people do when our mainstream treatments for depression fails us. He sheds light on new advancements for treatment-resist
Interview with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez: Parenting Young Adults Through Anxiety, Anger, And Algorithms
Message us here!What if the “problem behavior” you see- anger, anxiety, avoidance, endless scrolling- is your kid’s way of shielding against something deeper? In this episode, I chat with Dr. Marcus Rodriguez, director of the Youth and Family Institute and tenured professor at Pitzer College, about what parents can do when their young adult children struggle with adulting. We dig into when these y
Making You the Villain: The Gaslighting Effect of Projection
Message us here!Ever walk away from a conversation feeling like the villain in someone else’s story? In this episode, I dig into projection—the defense that pushes a person’s unwanted traits and feelings onto you—and show how it warps reality, fuels gaslighting, and leaves loved ones doubting their own character. I break down the differences between borderline personality disorder and narcissistic
So Long, Co-Host; Hello, Crippling Self-Doubt and New Frontiers
Message us here!Little Helpers, this is a new era for this community: This is my first episode as the solo host of "A Little Help For Our Friends." It's Dr. Kibby and we're saying goodbye to my beloved co-host, Jacqueline Trumbull as she moves on from this podcast. This will be a new phase focused on what made this community matter from day one: centering caregivers, loved ones, people-pleasers, a
Interview with Jordon Monroe: Healing Narcissism With Honesty And Heart
Message us here!To open Season 6 with a bang, we start where most hot takes end: with a self-aware narcissist describing his collapse, the shame behind the mask, and the painstaking choices that made empathy real. Jordan Monroe, a former tech founder turned emotional healing coach, joins us to explore a grounded path out of grandiosity, defensiveness, and reality wars—without dismissing the deep h
Season 5 Wrap Up: Beating Cancer, Becoming a Psychologist, and Leaping into the Next Chapter
Message us here!What happens when the hamster wheels we've been running on suddenly stop spinning? In this raw and deeply personal Season 5 finale, we pull back the curtain on our own mental health journeys over the past year, revealing the profound transformations that occur when life forces you to confront your deepest wounds.Dr. Kibby shares her post-cancer emotional reckoning, describing
Manifestation: Path to Your Dreams or Just Wishful Thinking?
Message us here!What happens when two skeptical psychologists take a deep dive into the world of manifestation? In this episode, we take a look at what "manifestation" is, what is actually based in science...and then we try manifesting for real. We start by acknowledging our initial skepticism about the idea that you can get everything you want just by thinking about it- a practice that
Eating Disorders: What Friends and Family Need to Know
Message us here!Do you have a family member, friend or roommate whose relationship to food is a little...concerning? Eating disorders hide in plain sight, often disguised as diet culture, fitness goals, or "healthy eating." But beneath these socially acceptable lifestyles lie deadly mental health conditions that claim more lives than almost any other psychiatric disorder.In this episode,
Enabling: When Helping Our Loved Ones Makes Things Worse
Message us here! When does our help cross the line from supportive to harmful for our loved ones with mental health challenges? In this episode we dive deep into the complex dynamics of "unintentional reinforcement," a less judgmental term for "enabling" that acknowledges how our best intentions can sometimes backfire.Drawing from personal experiences with addiction, depression
Humiliation: The Spiciest Social Emotion
Message us here!Humiliation might be the most painful social emotion we experience, even traumatizing. Yet it's much less talked about compared to its cousin, shame. In this revealing episode, we unpack the distinct characteristics that make humiliation uniquely devastating and potentially dangerous.When someone in a position of power debases you in public, that's not just intense shame-
Interview with Agatha Peters: Navigating Narcissism Across Cultural Lines
Message us here!What happens when cultural expectations of family loyalty collide with the reality of narcissistic abuse? In this special episode, licensed clinical social worker Agatha Peters brings a fresh perspective to this complex intersection, drawing from her personal journey as a Nigerian-American and her professional expertise working with clients from collectivist cultures.For those rais
Interview with Amber Rae: When Staying In A Safe Relationship Hurts You More Than Leaving
Message us here!What happens when you look into a stranger's eyes and suddenly realize what's been missing from your marriage all along? In this episode, bestselling author Amber Rae joins us to share her transformative journey from a nine-year relationship that checked all the boxes on paper but lacked true intimacy and connection.Amber's story challenges our conventional understan
Love Island USA Analysis Part 2: The Emotional Intelligence Behind Reality TV Relationships
Message us here!Now that Season 7 of "Love Island USA" has finished, we're unpacking the fascinating psychological dynamics that made this season so compelling.In this episode, we discussed how the men of Love Island gave us a masterclass in modern masculinity. In an era where men's mental health is suffering from isolation and loneliness, these bromances offered a refreshing a
The Hidden Pain of Rejection: Understanding Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and Its Link to ADHD
Message us here!What happens when criticism feels like a physical blow? For some of you, rejection and criticism trigger an emotional response so intense it has its own name: Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria (RSD).In this episode, we deep into the painful world of RSD – that overwhelming feeling of shame and worthlessness that can follow even minor criticism for or rejection. Jacqueline shares a ra
Love Island USA Analysis Part 1: Untangling Reality TV Relationship Dynamics
Message us here!Ever wondered what reality TV can teach us about psychology? In this episode, we put our mental health expertise to "work" analyzing the relationship dynamics on the first 17 episodes of Season 7 of "Love Island USA," revealing fascinating patterns that mirror what therapists see in couples therapy every day. Tell us your thoughts using the "send us a text
The Fight You Didn’t Mean to Start: Why Conflict Escalates and How to Defuse It
Message us here!Ever felt yourself going from calm to explosive in seconds flat? Or watched someone you care about transform into a raging stranger over something seemingly small? In this episode, we dive deep into the anatomy of emotional explosions - those high-conflict moments that can damage relationships and leave lasting scars. We unpack why these blowups happen, exploring how they often rep
The Cost of Anxious Attachment: When Someone's Insecurities Make You Question Your Worth
Message us here!Do you ever feel like you're walking on eggshells around someone who constantly needs reassurance? In this episode, we tackle anxious attachment from a different angle - not just what it feels like to be anxiously attached, but how that attachment style can impact the self-esteem and identity of those on the receiving end.Drawing from personal experiences, we explore how anxio
Understanding Others' Minds: The Science of Mind-Reading in Borderline Personality Disorder
Message us here!What happens when you can't understand what others are thinking or feeling? Why do some people constantly misinterpret your intentions? The answers lie in a fascinating psychological process called mentalization.Mentalization—our ability to understand the thoughts, feelings, and intentions of others and ourselves—forms the foundation of healthy relationships. When this process
The Science of Co-Regulation: Building Safety in Relationships
Message us here!Ever wonder why holding your partner's hand during a stressful moment instantly calms you down? The answer lies in the fascinating neurobiological dance of co-regulation – when two nervous systems attune to and influence each other, creating safety, connection, and resilience that neither person could achieve alone.In this episode, we explore the multidimensional nature of co-
When One Chases and the Other Runs: Understanding the Pursuer-Withdrawer Dynamics in Couples
Message us here!Feeling stuck in the same arguments with your partner? Does it feel like a cycle of one of you is chasing and the other is running away? In this episode, we talk about the problematic cycle behind recurring relationship conflicts through the lens of Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT).We break down the pursuer-withdrawer dynamic: that frustrating cycle where one person pushes for connect
Self-Hatred: Wrestling With The Hidden Demon
Message us here!Have you ever had the unsettling realization that perhaps you don't like yourself very much? That underneath all your accomplishments, relationships, and hard work, there's a persistent voice whispering that you're somehow fundamentally flawed? In this very personal episode, we dive into the connection between childhood trauma and the development of negative core bel
Sex After Trauma: How PTSD Affects Sexual Intimacy
Message us here!The invisible connection between trauma and sexual intimacy affects countless relationships, yet remains largely hidden in silence and shame. In this episode, we dive deep into why PTSD creates significant barriers to healthy sexual function—even when the original trauma had nothing to do with sex.Sexual arousal shares remarkable physiological similarities with threat response, cre
Interview with Dr. Jordan Quaglia: The Science of We-Care beyond Self-Care
Message us here!Do we always have to choose between caring for ourselves vs. caring for others? Nope! Dr. Jordan Quaglia, associate professor at Naropa University, introduces us to "We-Care" – a revolutionary approach to caring that blends self-care and caring for others into an integrated practice where they mutually reinforce each other.Drawing from over a decade of research in mindful
Triangulation: How Loved Ones Get Stuck in Toxic Relationship Dynamics
Message us here!Have you ever noticed a never-ending cycle of drama amongst your family or friend group? In this episode, we talk about how the Drama Triangle might be the hidden pattern keeping your relationships stuck in painful cycles. Whether you're supporting a loved one with mental illness or navigating difficult family dynamics, this pattern will keep you trapped in the pain instead of
Interview with Paula Croxson: An Insider Look into Polyamory
Message us here!What if we've been thinking about love all wrong? What if the idea that we must choose just one person to love deeply is simply a cultural construct rather than an inherent truth about human relationships? In this episode, we discuss with Paula Croxson, our friend and practicing polyamorist how we can challenge foundational assumptions about romantic love and connection. This
Interview with Madison Errichiello: Love is Blind, Loss, and Healing through Trauma
Message us here!Madison Errichiello steps out of the "Love is Blind" pods and into a raw, illuminating conversation about healing from trauma and finding strength in vulnerability. Known for her openness about mental health on the show, Madison joins us to reveal the deeper layers behind what viewers saw – and how reality TV editing shaped public perception of her journey."I don&apo
Self-Pity: The Social Costs of Wallowing In Your Troubles
Message us here!Ever found yourself wanting to scream when someone launches into their hundredth "woe is me" monologue? Yep, we've been there. In this episode, we talk about one of the more isolating coping mechanisms: self-pity.We break down exactly what makes self-pity so aggravating for loved ones—that toxic combination of helplessness, victim mentality, and emotional quicksand t
MySpace Top Eight: How We're Haunted By Our Teenage Popularity
Message us here!The wounds of high school popularity - or lack thereof - run surprisingly deep. In this episode, we explore how our teenage and adolescent social status continues to shape our self-concept decades later, informing how we navigate relationships, perceive our value, and approach social hierarchies.We dive into research that reveals the complex relationship between adolescent populari
Long-Distance Love: Making It Work When Miles Apart
Message us here!Distance makes the heart grow fonder—or does it? In this episode, we explore long-distance relationships and what the research actually shows about couples who love across miles. We share our own varied experiences with long-distance love—from casual dating situations to serious commitments. Different relationship styles and personal attachment patterns dramatically impact how well
Your Brain on Extremes: How All-or-Nothing Thinking Affects Mental Health
Message us here!We all know those moments—when everything feels either perfect or disastrous, when someone is either completely trustworthy or utterly toxic. "All-or-nothing," "black-and-white," or dichotomous thinking, shapes our relationships, political views, and self-perception in profound ways. But where does this all-or-nothing approach come from, and why is it so hard to
Arrested Development: The Generational Trauma of Emotionally Immature Parents
Message us here!Are your parents bad at dealing with difficult emotions? Do they fall apart, ignore, criticize or withdraw when you need them the most? Emotional immaturity in parents causes profound ripple effects through generations, creating patterns many of us don't recognize until we're deep into adulthood. Based on Dr. Lindsay Gibson's model of emotional immaturity, we describ
Why Are They Acting Like a Child? Understanding Emotional Immaturity
Message us here!When your dating a guy who isn't ready to settle down or your friend whines for not getting what she wants, you roll your eyes and think "they're so immature." But what does being "mature" mean, exactly? In this episode, we nerd out over the concept of emotional immaturity, the developmental aspects that contribute to it, and how it manifests in adult
Interview with Dr. Blaise Aguirre: Confronting the Shadows of Self-Hatred
Message us here!Do you hate yourself or know someone who does? We delve into the painful reality of people who loathe themselves with Dr. Blaise Aguirre, a distinguished expert in child and adolescent psychiatry at McLean Hospital. We navigate the often-overlooked dimensions of self-loathing, delving into how it manifests in various mental health conditions, particularly borderline personality dis
Navigating the Complex Family Dynamics of a New Marriage
Message us here!Can a new marriage really shake the foundation of a once harmonious family? Maybe if the newcomer is, ahem, emotionally challenging. In today's episode, we respond to a listener who asked for tips on dealing with the toxic behavior of a new family member. "Emma," a Little Helper, sent us a message describing her frustration with her uncle's new marriage followin
Exploring Ethical Non-Monogamy: Redefining Commitment and Navigating Open Relationships
Message us here!Is ethical non-monogamy simply a radical departure from tradition, or a return to our more natural relational roots? In this episode, we respond to one of our fans' questions about how to have an open relationship (thank you, fan from Columbia, Missouri!). We share stories and observations from diverse E&M communities, underscoring the vital role of consent and intentional
Interview with Dr. Marina Rosenthal: Unlocking the Secrets of Sexual Health and Intimacy through Sex Therapy
Message us here!Sex shouldn't feel like a chore...unless that's something you're into! In this episode, we welcome back Dr. Marina Rosenthal to talk about sex therapy. Dr. Rosenthal discusses how sex therapy addresses various issues, from erectile dysfunction and pain during sex to navigating non-monogamy and infidelity repair. This approach advocates for expanded definitions of sex
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