French People Arr. Rude
Brandon and Sean, two self-described Europe travel experts, spend each episode arguing about the best places to visit, what to eat, and how to avoid looking like a tourist. The show blends practical trip planning with comedy, wandering into weird history rabbit holes and unfiltered opinions along the way. Episodes also include interviews with chefs, local guides, and fellow travelers. It is part travel guide, part comedy, and part therapy, produced by the travel company The Tour Guy.
Episodes
The Rise and Fall of the Persian Empire
When most people think about the Persian Empire, they picture 300, Xerxes, and arrows blotting out the sun. But the real story is far more interesting and far more important.Tours Mentioned in This EpisodeLouvre Museum Tour with Skip the Line EntryPalace of Versailles and Gardens Tour with TransportationIn this episode, we break down how the Persian Empire became the first true superpower in histo
Who was Napoleon Bonaparte? | Myths, Power, and Collapse
Napoleon Bonaparte rose from an outsider with no power to the most feared leader in Europe, and his downfall reshaped the modern world.Tours mentioned:The Best Versailles Tours & ExperiencesIncredible Louvre Experiences & ToursSee Paris with Ease with our Paris ExperiencesBest Day Trips from ParisExplore Villa Borghese with Ease Napoleon Bonaparte is one of the most misunderstood figures i
Alexander the Great: How One Man Conquered the Known World
Learn about our tours and experiences: https://thetourguy.com/Tours Mentioned: See Rome in a Day: https://thetourguy.com/tours/rome/rome-in-a-day-tour Explore Pompeii, Positano, & the Amalfi Coast: https://thetourguy.com/tours/rome/rome-to-pompeii-day-trip Alexander the Great conquered more of the known world before age 32 than almost any figure in history. But how did a Macedonian king with a
The Surprisingly Odd History of Front Lawns
Why do we spend thousands of dollars a year watering, fertilizing, and obsessing over grass that serves no real purpose?The Best Versailles Tours: https://thetourguy.com/tours/versailles-tours Incredible Tours of London: https://thetourguy.com/tours/london In this episode, we unpack the surprisingly strange history of the front lawn. What started as an aristocratic flex in Europe became one of the
The Wild and Strange History of Santa Claus
The real story of Santa Claus is stranger than any Christmas movie.Before he became a jolly gift giver in a red suit, he was a Turkish bishop, a Dutch horse rider, an elf sized chimney climber, and eventually a full American marketing icon. This episode breaks down the wild journey of how Saint Nicholas turned into Santa Claus and how Christmas traditions were reinvented over and over. Read the fu
London: Top Things to See & How to Visit Them
Grab our London Guidebook here:🔔 London Guidebook, Top things to seeThe BEST London Tours mentioned in the show:🔔 Tower of London, Legends and Lore Tour🔔 Westminster Abbey and Changing of the Guard🔔 Windsor Castle & Stonehenge Tours 🔔 London in a Day🔔 The BEST London ToursIf you are planning a trip and want a clear list of what to see in London, this episode walks you through everything in sim
Venice: Top things to see & travel advice
Tours & guidebook mentioned: 🔔 Venice Guidebook: Top things to see & more 🔔 Best Venice Tours 🔔 Venice in a Day with Gondola Ride!!🔔 St. Mark's Basilica Tours🔔 Incredible Murano & Burano Tours🔔 Rome in a Day Tour🔔 Tuscany day trip form FlorenceIf you are planning a trip and want to know the top things to see in Venice, this episode breaks everything down in simple terms. Sean an
Paris: The BEST things to see & do in 2026
For more details on all the stops mentioned, bookmark out guidebook article: Paris, France: the City of Lights Tours Mentioned:Versailles Palace TourParis in a Day Louvre Skip-the-Line Guided TourEiffel Tower Tour with Champagne and Seine River CruiseNotre Dame and Île de la Cité Walking TourMusée d’Orsay ToursMontmartre and Sacré-Cœur Food TourSeine River Cruise (day or sunset options)Sean and Br
Rome: Must-see spots & how to visit them in 2026
Rome is one of the world’s greatest cities to visit, but knowing what’s actually worth your time can make or break your trip. Bookmark the BEST guide to Rome hereTours mentioned:Rome in a Day Tour The BEST Vatican Tours Colosseum Underground and Arena Floor Tours Sean and Brandon break down the absolute must-see sights in Rome, from the Vatican and Colosseum to the Borghese Gallery, the Pantheon,
How to Visit Europe: FAQ and Travel Tips
Sean and Brandon answer the internet’s most-asked questions about traveling Europe, from when to book to what’s a total myth. For more details & info about traveling to Europe, bookmark our guide: https://thetourguy.com/travel-blog/europe/europe-travel-faqs/ Tours Mentioned:Rome in a Day Tour Vatican After-Hours Tours Louvre Museum Tour Legends & Lore: Tower of London Tour How far
Ghost Stories: History That Won’t Stay Buried
Forget dry history books. The most gripping tales of the past involve the people who refused to leave.....They cut off her head for killing her father but he had already killed her childhood. From Beatrice Cenci’s haunting in Rome to Anne Boleyn’s headless carriage rides through London, this episode dives into the darkest corners of Europe’s past, where tragedy refuses to rest in peace.👉 For all
History’s Craziest Leaders: From Popes to Psychopaths
Before tabloids or true crime podcasts, there were emperors, kings, and popes whose egos rewrote history—and whose insanity shaped it.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Legend & Lore: Tower of London Tours👉 Versailles Day trip from Paris 👉 Colosseum Underground Tours In this episode of French People Are Rude, Brandon and Sean dive into the wildest rulers history ever produ
Paris: Secrets of the Louvre
Hidden Fortresses, Stolen Masterpieces, and Ghostly LegendsBefore it became the world’s most visited museum, the Louvre was a fortress, a palace, and if legends are true, home to a murderous ghost in red!👉 For all show notes & recommendationsTours mentioned in the podcast:👉 The BEST Louvre Tours👉 Versailles Tours without the hassle👉 Paris in a Day TourSo what are the secret
The Fall of Rome
How the Eternal City Fell to the BarbariansRome was supposed to last forever. For 800 years, no enemy breached her walls—until 410 A.D., when the Visigoths stormed the Eternal City and shattered the myth of Roman invincibility.👉 For all show notes & recommendationsTours mentioned in this podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Borghese Gallery Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano & Amalfi Coast Day
Who was Louis XVI?
The Locksmith King Who Lost His HeadBefore revolutions toppled monarchies, Louis XVI was the last absolute ruler of France—more interested in hunting and tinkering with locks than governing. His indecision, debt, and disastrous choices helped spark the French Revolution—and ended at the guillotine.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Versailles Palace & Gardens Tour👉 L
Who was Louis XIV?
The Sun King, Megalomaniac, and Versailles BuilderBefore Napoleon or Marie Antoinette, there was Louis XIV, the Sun King, the longest-reigning monarch in European history, who turned France into a cultural powerhouse while bankrupting it with his obsession for power, mirrors, and gardens.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Skip-the-Line Versailles & Gardens Tour👉 Secrets
Who was Leonardo da Vinci?
Genius, Bastard, TinkererBefore Elon Musk, before Steve Jobs there was Leonardo da Vinci. Painter, engineer, dissector of corpses, and full-time procrastinator who dreamed up flying machines centuries before the Wright brothers.👉 For all show notes & extras👉 Vatican Tours👉 Louvre Tours👉 Borghese Gallery Tours👉 Uffizi ToursSo who was Leonardo da Vinci really?In this episode, we cut thro
History of The Medici
How One Family Shaped the RenaissanceWho were the Medici? The Medici family was the most powerful dynasty of Renaissance Florence—wealthy bankers, shrewd politicians, and legendary patrons of the arts. Their story is the history of Florence itself: a tale of power, money, religion, and culture that changed Europe forever.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Book the best Florence tours👉 Flo
Who was Julius Caesar: General, Politician, Dictator-for-Life
Before Napoleon, there was Julius Caesar—Rome’s most ambitious leader, part brilliant politician, part ruthless general, and part gambler who reshaped history while making just as many enemies as allies.👉 For all show notes & recommendationsTours mentioned in the podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome👉 Vatican After-Hours Small Group Tou
History of the Crusades | 200 Years of Holy Wars and Chaos
The Crusades: Holy Wars, Greed, and Medieval ChaosBefore Game of Thrones, before Indiana Jones, there were the Crusades—two centuries of brutal wars where religion, money, and power collided in the bloodiest road trip in history.👉 For all show notes & recommendationsTours mentioned in the podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome👉 Secrets of t
Who was Michelangelo?
Michelangelo: Sculptor, Rebel, Reluctant PainterBefore Banksy or Basquiat, there was Michelangelo—part artist, part engineer, part stubborn workaholic who changed the course of art history while insulting half his peers.👉 For all show notes & recommendationsTours mentioned in the podcast:👉 Rome in a Day Tour👉 Pompeii, Positano, Amalfi Coast Day Trip from Rome👉 Vatican After-Hours Small
How to Plan a Ski Trip to Europe: Flights, Lodging, Trip Planning
The ultimate guide to planning a ski trip in Europe without overpaying, overpacking, or overdressing, plus how to actually enjoy après ski like a local.👉 For all show notes & extras: https://thetourguy.com/travel-blog/europe/best-winter-resorts-for-europe-ski-holidays/ American skiing has become a bloated, expensive, beer-flavored disappointment. Meanwhile in Europe, you can ski from Sw
Rome, History: What was life like in ancient Rome?
What Was Life Like in Ancient Rome?Before apps, cars, or central heating, Romans built cities, ran businesses, and complained about taxes.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Book the best Rome toursSo what was daily life actually like in ancient Rome?In this episode, we break down Roman stereotypes (like orgies and toga parties), explain who had power (spoiler: not you), and expl
Who Was Caravaggio? | The Dark Genius Who Changed Art Forever
Who was Caravaggio? A Baroque painter, a violent fugitive, and the original master of darkness.👉 For all show notes & extrasBefore Banksy. Before Basquiat. There was Caravaggio—a violent, brilliant, deeply troubled painter who changed the course of art history with nothing but a paintbrush, a bad attitude, and a body count. If you’ve ever wondered how a murderer became the Catholic Church’
History of the Colosseum
Colosseum: Gladiator Myths, Stone Blocks, and Rome’s Biggest PR Move👉 For all show notes & extras👉 Book a Colosseum tour (underground and arena access available)In this episode of French People Arr. Rude, Sean and Brandon take a chisel to the biggest stereotypes about the Colosseum. Was it just a place for gladiator battles? Did people really get fed to lions? And who were these so-calle
The History of Rome in 45-minutes
👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Book the best Rome toursRome might be eternal, but it didn’t start pretty. In this episode, Sean and Brandon walk through the real timeline of ancient Rome—from the myth of a wolf-raised twin to the bloody end of Julius Caesar and the empire that followed.You’ll hear about Romulus and Remus (and which one got murdered), the sketchy kings who ruled
History of the Vatican: From Saint Peter to Sovereign State
Vatican City: Papal Power, Secret Walls, and Why It’s a Country👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Vatican tours👉 For tips on how to visit the Vatican without waiting in lineWhat does it mean for a religion to run a country? In this episode of French People Arr. Rude, Sean and Brandon dig into how and why the Vatican exists as the world’s smallest country. From
Changes in Rome Travel 2025
New Pope, New Roads, New Problems👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Vatican & Rome toursIn this episode, we break down all the chaos and changes happening in Rome and what they mean for travelers heading to Europe in 2025. With a new American pope, a record-breaking Jubilee year, and a brand-new EU visa requirement, it’s safe to say Rome (and the rest of Europ
EU Travel Update: New Visas, Fees & Entry Taxes for 2025
👉 For all show notes & recommendations. 👉 To book the best tours in EuropeIn this episode, we tackle the major changes affecting American travelers heading to Europe in 2025, from new visa waiver programs to city entry fees. Travel expert Angel Castellanos joins us to break down the ETIAS visa waiver required by the European Union, the UK's new ETA system, and Venice’s controversial new da
Italy: Planning the Perfect Trip - Pt 2
Numbers of Efficiency, Time, Soft to Hard, Distance between us 👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Italy ToursSean and Brandon are back with part two of the ultimate Italy trip planner. From structured 7- to 10-day itineraries to food tours, museum hacks, and chaotic Roman summers, this episode covers everything you need to know to plan an unforgettable trip acr
Italy: Planning the Perfect Trip - Pt 1
Numbers of Efficiency, Time, Soft to Hard, Distance between us 👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Italy ToursIn this episode, Sean and Brandon bite into the big one—Italy as a whole. With sarcasm as thick as a Roman ragu, they run through every stereotype, every unspoken rule, and every unwritten law that governs eating, dressing, walking, and caffeinating across t
Tuscany: Where Every Stereotype Is True
Tuscany: Land Scam, Vertical Feud, Buried Pride, Real Excalibur 👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Tuscany tours 👉To book the best agriturismo stays in TuscanyIn this episode, Sean and Brandon uncork their deep love for Tuscany—sarcasm, sausages, and all. From rolling hills lined with cypress trees to grilled meats and jugs of wine that taste like Brunello, the guys d
Amalfi Coast: Travel Tips
Amalfi Coast: Soft Acid, Silent Tower, Cotton Word, Drowned Glory 👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Amalfi Coast tours Welcome to the Amalfi Coast! Where ancient emperors were psychopaths, mozzarella explodes in your mouth, and hotel views come with mandatory cardio. Brandon and Sean cover everything from cliff-hucking Roman rulers to travel tips that might actuall
Naples: Local Secrets & Travel Tips
Naples: French Disease, 3 times blood, Suspended Coffee, Queen’s Tribute👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Naples tours In this episode, we head to the heart of southern Italy—Naples—with our hilarious and insightful guest, Gaetano, a true Neapolitan local. We unpack the chaotic beauty of the city through stories, stereotypes, and history, covering everything from th
Puglia: Travel Tips & Itinerary
Puglia: Tax Evasion, Spider Bite, Santa Claus, Protected Bread👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 Where to stay in PugliaThis week, Sean and Brandon head deep into the stiletto heel of Italy — Puglia — to uncover why this under-the-radar region might just be the best-kept secret left in Italy. They break down everything you need to know before you go: why the bread is protected by law, w
Inside the Vatican: How a New Pope is Chosen
Inside the Vatican After the Death of a Pope: Rituals, History, and What Comes Next📍 Rome is at the center of the world’s attention once again.👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book a Vatican tour In this special episode of French People Are Rude, hosts Sean and Brandon sit down with Vatican expert and travel journalist Angel Castellanos to unpack the passing of Pope Francesco and t
London: Travel Tips & Itinerary
London: Hot Air, Soccer, Romans, Fish-&-Chips-Fighting👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best London tours Sean and Brandon sit down with travel journalist Angel Castellanos to unpack London in all its messy glory—from the truth about British food and warm pints to football hooligans, afternoon tea, and the city's best hangover cures.It’s a deep dive into the quirks
Best Beaches in Italy: Travel Tips & Recommendations
Best Beaches in Italy: Banana Hammocks, alle Vongole, Americano, Cocco Bello👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Sicily tours👉To book the best Amalfi Coast toursIn this episode, we dig into the real best beaches in Italy—uncrowded, unfiltered, and unbelievably beautiful. From the laid-back luxury of Puglia’s Salento region to Sardinia’s cliff-jumping coves and the raw magi
Sicily: Travel Tips & Itinerary
Sicily: One-way?, Homer, dialects within dialects, talking heads👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Sicily tours Planning a trip to Sicily? This episode is your no-fluff, straight-talking guide to seeing the best of the island—from where to go and what to eat, to how to avoid tourist traps and travel like a local. Whether you’re dreaming of cliffside beaches, ancient
Paris: What's worth it, What's overrated
Paris Uncovered: Stolen Overcoats, Milk, Window Shopping, Medieval Tinder👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Paris tours Planning your first trip to Paris? This episode is your ultimate guide to doing it right. We’ll help you navigate the City of Light like a pro—from choosing the best neighborhoods to stay in and understanding how the Metro works, to avoiding tourist
Florence: Travel Tips
Florence: Bonfires, Billionaire Bellhops, and Boredom👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Florence tours Listen until the last minute—some of the best Florence recommendations are packed into the final 10 minutes of the episode. But first, we take you beyond the postcard version of the Renaissance capital and into the gritty, hilarious, and awe-inspiring truth of Flor
Rome: Travel Tips Pt. 2
German Vandals, Fendi, Overcooked Pasta, and Bloody Sandals👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Rome toursIn this episode, we break down everything you need to know about visiting Rome—from navigating the chaotic streets and confusing public transit to uncovering the best neighborhoods to stay in. Whether you're wondering why first-time visitors struggle without a
Rome: Travel Tips Pt. I
Rome: German Vandals, Fendi, Overcooked Pasta, and Bloody Sandals👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Rome tours Think you know Rome? Think again. In this episode, we dive deep into the truths, myths, and wild history of the Eternal City—from Roman food culture and drinking customs to strange historical facts and modern-day stigmas. Expect a mix of hilarious travel mis
Venice: Travel Tips
Venice: Dead Romans, Black Teeth, Smoke, and Mirrors👉 For all show notes & recommendations👉 To book the best Venice tours In this episode, we’re diving deep into Venice’s hidden gems, wild history, and best eats—from avoiding overpriced tourist traps to discovering the best Bacari bars and Cicchetti spots. We’ll also share some of our craziest Venice stories, like getting lost in the maze
