Indepartners
Indepartners is a podcast hosted by behavioral scientists Dr. Lisa Finkelstein and Dr. Kurt Kraiger about long-distance relationships. The couple shares their own experience of maintaining a loving partnership while living in two different cities and navigating successful careers. Each episode explores topics such as intentionality, communication, and the value of rituals over holidays. Episodes run about 30 minutes and blend personal stories, humor, and relatable examples. New episodes are released monthly on the 14th.
Episodes
The Elephant in the Room: Sex educator, researcher, and consultant Dr. Justin Lehmiller discusses all things long distance sex
We rarely talk about sex on the pod, but when we do, we go big! We are thrilled to bring you an interview with Dr. Justin Lehmiller. Justin is a social psychologist and a Senior Research Fellow at the Kinsey Institute and former award-winning teacher at Harvard University. He hosts the Sex and Psychology Podcast and authored the popular book Tell Me What You Want: The Science of Sexual Desire
Indepartners in Captivity: We’re NOT doing THAT again!
Lisa and Kurt discuss their tumultuous summer, marked by Kurt’s open-heart surgery in early July and their subsequent seven weeks together (a new Indepartners record!). As Kurt recovered at Lisa’s, the Indepartners had to navigate temporary new roles – worrywart caregiver and grumpy patient – and also figure out how to maintain and strengthen the best aspects of their regular relationship when the
Hey, Neighbor! Stories of Same-City LATs with Dr. Laura Funk
In this episode, Kurt and Lisa interview Dr. Laura Funk, a sociologist and social gerontologist who studies LAT couples living in the same metro area. Dr. Funk shares themes of the meaning couples give to their relationship choices and how they build trust and communicate their commitment to themselves and others. We also discuss the drive toward same-city LATs for older couples.Thanks for liste
A Portfolio of International Lovers: Gloria and Igor's Story
What happens when two people visiting their home country go online looking only for something light and fun, but end up falling for each other? The start of a great love story and an indepartnership! Gloria and Igor share their fascinating story, taking them (at various times and in different combinations) from the Canary Islands, to Canada, to Arizona, to California. Learn about what they like
Tables Turned: Relationship Researchers Put the Indepartners under the Microscope
In this episode we bring you an interview with a twist: Lisa and Kurt are the interviewees! Social psychology relationship researchers Brie Muzzy and Brad Sagarin study various types of intentional relationships, such as polyamorous and power exchange relationships. A few years back while in the audience of one of their talks, Lisa recognized that she believed from their description of intention
Retreat Apart, Grow Together
Coming to you from the studio (Lisa) and his closet (Kurt), the Indepartners begin this episode talking a bit about their recent SIOP conference. SIOP is where they first met many years ago and still holds a special meaning to them as individuals and as a couple. After the intense people-time at the conference and a grinding week finishing out their semesters, Lisa and Kurt are about to embark se
It's right there in the name: Ideas on Independence
The theme of independence appears in most episodes of Indepartners, but in this episode Lisa and Kurt go all in examining the (many) benefits and (some) challenges that come with independence in their personal lives and in their relationship. After defining the concept (hey, they’re nerds!), they talk about the joy and opportunity independence brings. And they share the occasional pushback they ge
Us in Flux (The one where Kurt goes to the hospital)
Kurt and Lisa are back for Season 2 of Indepartners, kicking off a month later than anticipated and with an episode they definitely didn't plan to start off the season with.Overnight and with no prior signs of trouble, Kurt started January 3 with some scary symptoms that turned out to be endocarditis, a bacterial infection in his heart. Lisa and Kurt tell the story of how his time in the hosp
You Got Questions? We Got Answers!
And that’s a wrap! After nine episodes of deep dives and wonderful guests, Kurt and Lisa hang out together (in the same studio!) to dish about the season and answer listener questions. In their most unscripted episode yet, the indepartners each took a few notes on listener questions, but had no idea what the other was going to say. Find out where they agree, where they disagree, and what they l
From George Glass to Jimmy Crafts: Michelle and Jim’s Story
We are thrilled to bring you another interview with some Indepartners with a twist! Michelle and Jim were high school sweethearts who always dreamed of big careers in broadcasting and journalism and promised to support each other in reaching their dreams, even if it meant having to be apart. That’s just what they did. After attending college together, Michelle climbed the ladder in radio broadc
LAT but not least: An interview with Vicki Larson
We are so honored and excited to bring you an interview with award-winning journalist and author of the book LATtitude: How you can make a live apart together relationship work. In our lively conversation, Vicki shares many of her well-researched insights from her book on LAT (Living Apart Together) relationships, including her findings on:- Who tends to be most attracted to LAT.- The
Memphis? But you won’t even go to Brooklyn! Mindy and Austin’s story
In Episode 7 we bring you another great Indepartners interview! Austin is a self-described southern gentleman who was an entrepreneur living in Memphis, and Mindy is an executive living in Manhattan. Austin and Mindy met online and really connected – and then Mindy realized where Austin lived. Her friends predicted it would never last because she “won’t even go to Brooklyn". Luckily, they g
New Orleans, Boston, and Blueberry Hill: Karon and Steve’s Story
We are so excited to bring you our first interview on the Indepartner’s podcast! Karon and Kurt had a chance meeting at a beer event a few years ago and bonded over both being in long distance committed relationships, and we’ve all been friends since. Listen in to hear how Karon and Steve met and fell in love. They have had two different phases of indepartnerships in their relationship and we’ll
Valentines Schmalentines: Your Relationship, Your Rituals
One fun and meaningful way that couples, Indepartners or otherwise, can be more intentional is to develop their own rituals. Couples can choose whether or not they want to celebrate traditional holidays, can do holidays on their own terms, and can create new rituals - regularly occurring events that celebrate life and are bespoke to the couple's interests and idiosyncrasies.In Episode 5, Lisa
Tom Petty Was Wrong: The Waiting Is Pretty Great
Anticipation is one of the most underrated emotions. There is a natural cycle to indepartnerships involving not only anticipation of the next time together, but savoring of the limited time together and reminiscing about the joy of being together.In Episode 4, Lisa and Kurt give their take on these three stages of the cycle. They nerd out over scientific research supporting the well-being benefits
Indepartners Communicate: Lisa and Kurt Hate the Phone
It’s no big news that communication is important to great relationships, but when you are indepartners, communication is the relationship most of the time! This makes it especially important to be intentional and communicate about communication (so meta); intentional not just what you communicate about, but also how you do it and how often.In Episode 3, Lisa and Kurt break down these three elemen
Cheers to Intentionality
In Episode 2, we discuss intentionality, a word that came up so much in Episode 1 that Lisa invented a drinking game. A key benefit of choosing to live apart is the opportunity to design the relationship you want; as nerdy psychologists we explore what intentionality means and then how many opportunities there are to deliberately craft a relationship that works for both people - and strengthens th
Myths: Busted!
Date: February 14, 2025Show Title: IndepartnersEpisode Title and Number: 1. Myths: Busted!In their season launch, Lisa and Kurt talk about the origin of this podcast – and of their relationship. Having received reactions to their choice to live apart indefinitely that range from pity to disapp
Indepartners Trailer
Think long distance relationships never work? Think again! In Indepartners, two behavioral scientists talk about the advantages and opportunities that come with a permanent, loving relationship – that happens to take place in two different cities. Dr. Lisa Finkelstein and Dr. Kurt Kraiger have successfully navigated their careers while being, in their words, the happiest couple they know. As Lisa
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