Can You Don't?
Can You Don't? is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Joe Paisley and Bryan Albrandt. Each episode explores the internet to find the best and worst examples of humanity. Along the way, the hosts openly mock themselves for being complete idiots.
Episodes
Can You Don't? | Finger Skin. Sippy Cup. Megalodon. Pantera.
We all have our own opinions about the pumpkin spice craze, but walking around the store and yelling about it isn't the proper way to express it. Let's talk about that, some more cute animals that have a spinal deformity like Jimothy, accidentally reading an AI prompt while giving a government speech, foreskin on all your fingers, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna b
Can You Don't? | Oil Change. Thailand. Tree Trimmer. Secret Video.
How backwards do things have to be in this world for you to catch your wife cheating... but you're the one that ends up going to jail? Let's talk about that, answering a WYR that makes everyone uncomfortable, accidentally smashing your co-worker's head because you're making shadow puppets, why do oil change places show you everything they are doing, and more on today's episode of Can you
Can You Don't? | Light Pole. Mount Fuji. Lisp. 29 Toes.
If you have kids, or have spent time around someone else's children for any amount of time, it's no secret that they can SUPER SUCK when they are little... which is why a story on today's show about a dad leaving his son behind on Mt. Fuiji actually makes sense. GET UP, NERD! Let's talk about that, getting in real trouble for destroying a fake camera, accidentally punting your toilet pape
Can You Don't? | Sharpened Teeth. Dark Poop. Drowning. Gold Bars.
No one cares. Hugs and tugs. *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch this episode YouTube: https://youtu.be/FaGBFZB1IKoS
Can You Don't? | Hermaphrodite. Sheetmetal. Sally. Wait.
Welp... looks like the yearly "Joe almost died" trend continues! He learned why it's never a good idea to wear sandals while doing roof work. Idiot. Let's talk about that, having a drunk old man as a neighbor, a goose actually helping instead of just causing pure chaos in this world, having a sex-doll replace teachers in the classroom, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wan
Can You Don't? | Mount Rushmore. Keystroke. Water Pump. Pretty Cold.
Businesses making wild ass claims about their products is nothing new... but Joe couldn't control his urge to ask a local gas station about one of their record setting claims. Let's talk about that, an AI robot that could be so dangerous it comes with instructions on how to kill it if it ever goes rogue, having sex with famous statues, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wan
Can You Don't? | Plumber's Crack. Pepper Balls. Nuns. Meth Lab.
How far would you go to prank your family and friends? Would you create a fake meth lab, media coverage, mugshot, and local news website so that everyone thinks you're going to prison for the rest of your life? Someone did. Let's talk about that, the fastest ass crack Joe has ever seen, things getting pretty wild in a Walmart parking lot, a couple of enemy lesbian nuns falling in love and
Can you Don't? | Bathroom Goat. Funny Trunks. Sticky Letters. Winnie-the-Pooh.
The wild swing between being someone who's in jail, cumming on letters that you're sending to your partner... and THEN actually winning a legal argument saying that it's fine to be cumming on letters and sending them to your partner is truly amazing. Let's talk about that, getting yourself involved in a hike that's way harder than you expected it to be, fighting a goat every time you need
Can You Don't? | Dick Fire. Phone Glitch. Green Boots. Banana Girl.
We all die. Duh, we get it. But what if how you died and where you died has been used as an example of failure for the last three decades? That's something special. Let's talk about that, blasting your flaps with a footlong hotdog while still on the clock, one of the weirdest videos Joe has ever found on that Internet, loosing the last three years of content on your phone because "sometim
Can You Don't? | Better Grades. Pole Tape. Perfume. Flaky Perineum.
How mad would you get if you were having a little sex and someone pooped on you? Get a gun out mad? Apparently some people get THAT mad. Let's talk about that, Joe's theory about the common side effects in pharmaceutical commercials, getting blackmailed for better grades by your students because they discovered you have an OnlyFans, getting in trouble for taping criminals to poles, and mo
Can You Don't? | Ding Dong. Ham Sandwich. Scream. Sad Room.
We all tend to think that ding-dong ditching is a pretty harmless prank, right? Welp... not always. Yikes. Let's talk about that, how much we love Limp Bizkit making a massive comeback, why do women scream over the smallest things while in the passenger seat of a car like the world is ending, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all
Can You Don't? | Topless Coffee. Wrong Baby. Burrito. Banana Car.
Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand? Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand on accident? Have you ever been to a topless coffee stand on accident with your mom and kids in the car? Let's talk about that, trying to jump a BMX at your current age while drunk, giving birth to a baby that isn't biologically yours, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become p
Can You Don't? | Ice Tray. Drug Test. Bert. Box of Goon.
Does a naked 5k count as a form of ASMR? Let's talk about that, a website that widens the scope of measuring everything in football fields, throwing up in the middle of sex because you couldn't handle the smell, Joe standing in a bathroom alone for 10 minutes because he didn't know how to get drug tested, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle an
Can You Don't? | People Meat. Red Light. TNT. Olive Garden.
Dating can land you in some pretty weird situations... but one that involves forced marriage, satanic rituals, and Olive Garden usually isn't on that list. Let's talk about that, choosing your Catholic confirmation saint after your pecker's nickname, the ultimate orgy buzzkill, Bryan running his family into financial ruin by running red lights, and more on today's episode of Can you Don't
Can You Don't? | Four. Amazing. Years. Thank You.
FOUR PHACKING YEARS? You’ve listened, shared, reviewed, showed up, and kept this thing going. Whether you’ve been here from episode one or just recently found us, we genuinely appreciate you giving us your time every week. We don’t take it lightly. Thanks for being here.*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Pat
Can You Don't? | Prison Pocket. Paid to Jerk. Russia. Moon Base.
And to think we've all been masturbating for free this whole time... when we could be getting paid! Let's talk about that, another example of why it's great not to live in Russia, humans have been hiding things in our butts since the beginning of time, the last time you had a five course meal, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all
Can You Don't? | Hot Peppers. Best Friend. Lock. Fingerprints.
Ohhhhh the joys of parenting. Nothing really brings a father and son together like completely shattering trust because you're a dipshit. Let's talk about that, pissing a random dude off during a foursome because you have a massive hog, getting locked out of the house when you really need to poop, getting railed by Big Bird, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become pa
Can You Don't? | Castaway. Gushers. Push Door. Shoe Phone.
Pro tip: when you're getting arrested and the cops ask you to call your family, don't take your shoe off and try to use it as a phone. It's not a good look. Let's talk about that, what really is the color of the middle light on a stoplight, a wild night with some wild girls, plastic wrapping a nativity scene to save time next Christmas, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wa
Can You Don't? | Canned Salmon. Verification. Penguins. Comforter.
Doesn't it seem like the older you get, the sadder visiting Las Vegas becomes? Bryan just went there and returned with some wonderful examples of the sadness. Let's talk about that, having a giant black sex toy glued to your forehead for five years, drawing on fake mustaches in order to bypass age requirements online, raising money for brain cancer treatment through a lemonade stand, and
Can You Don't? | Old Lady. Bee Truck. Tissue Mirror. Super Wake.
Have you ever danced with a random old lady in a grocery store parking lot? No? Maybe you should. Let's talk about that, and SUUUUUPER WAAAAAAAAAAAKE! That's it... it will all make sense. *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean
Can You Don't? | Wild Boar. Incident Report. Singed. Beach Ball.
Have you ever been kicked out of a bar but have no idea why? Well, this was a first for Joe. Let's talk about that, a clever use for AI robots in the city, paying a stranger to be your friend while checking off your bucket list items, a bunch of conspiracy theories that ended up being true, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all th
Can You Don't? | Sliding Gloves. Terrorist. Remodel. Ted's Face.
I mean... we love a good raccoon penis as much as the next guy, but chopping one of some roadkill in front of your family and claiming it's for research is pretty wild. Let's talk about that, domestic differences when it comes to remodeling your house, why are kids so cool playing sports these days, working with someone all day long who has your semen all over their face, and more on toda
Can You Don't? | .sdrawkcaB .dnA .hgiH .002
200 episodes. That’s a lot of words, a lot of laughs, and an alarming amount of things we probably shouldn’t have said out loud. Seriously though, thank you. Whether you’ve been here since episode one or you just found us and immediately questioned your life choices, we’re so glad you’re here. The fact that you keep hitting play, sharing the show, and letting us be part of your day means
Can You Don't? | Baby Half. Ceiling Tile. Bong Dash. Touching.
We've never thought about it before... but how hard would it be to actually rip a baby in half? Let's talk about that, installing a custom bong into your dash so you never have to stop doing drugs, why are dry ice bombs so goddamn fun, thinking that you're making a lumber delivery but end up screwing some dude's wife in front of him, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna
Can You Don't? | Just Acting. Cornhole. Forklift. Wet Basket.
Let's say you are the proud owner of a drive-thru prayer business. Would you be open 24/7? Monday-Friday 9-5? Or just Wednesdays from 11-1? Let's talk about that, having to depend on your local community to protect from everyone else in the world wanting you dead, sneaking away to have sex in a porta-potty, where the heck do all these idioms come from, and more on today's episode of Can Y
Can You Don't? | Vegas Hooker. Spaghetti. Poisonous. Sorry Bud.
Some sad news to share on the show today but... everything will be ok. Let's talk about that, Bryan continues to be fucking awful at math, when does spaghetti become spaghetti and not just tomato noodles, ice cubes made from piss in the house you're staying at, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of
Can You Don't? | Daddy Bath. Camel Lips. Celibate. Weather Apps.
I didn't think I could ever give botox or implants to a camel... until I learned it could be worth MILLIONS OF DOLLARS?! Let's talk about that, yanking ponytails for funzzies, waiting your whole life for some free oysters with your dad, are weather apps getting paid to put up questionable forecasts, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and acce
Can You Don't? | Tap Shoes. Chemo Cake. Mop Water. Dog Frog.
Quick question for the ladies. Would you bang Mr. Clean? Yes, the cleaning company mascot. Let's talk about that, Bryan rewriting his entire would you rather on the fly, how does one go about getting their dog to stop licking frogs in the yard, another big life change to update everyone on, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all th
Can You Don't? | Press 2. Seagull. Concussion. Nice Lady.
You all know that Bryan went to Mexico for his annual family vacation... but did you know he was in the exact location that all that shit went down with the cartel and he was stuck there for an additional week?! Let's talk about that, why drinking cleaning supplies is never a good idea, the only time that knowing how to give CPR to a seagull was helpful, how much should a happy-ending cos
Can You Don't? | Moon Vacation. Sleeping Calf. Object. Munition.
Although not legal in the slightest, breaking into your place of employment after hours to make and sell pizza for a little extra coin isn't a completely terrible idea. Let's talk about that, why are so many people shoving old munition up their b-holes, how many household items are there on the planet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and a
Can You Don't? | Breakfast Blackout. Gooning. Sexy Birds. Gameboy Color.
Do you know what gooning is? Yeah you do... you little slut. *bites lip* Let's talk about that, how sexy birds can be with a human ass, another murderous elephant rampage, soliciting a prostitute while driving a school bus, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patr
Can You Don't? | Ankle Monitor. Lactic Acid. Manatee. Get Bent.
Can you even imagine how good it would feel to get released from a prison, get your shit together, then end up BUYING THE SAME PRISON YOU WERE KEPT IN?! Let's talk about that, trying to fool the cops by putting your ankle monitor on your dog, why do all women leave giant balls of hair in the shower, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and acce
Can You Don't? | Watermelon. Barefoot. Puke Purse. Itchy Cow.
Have you ever been in a situation that required you to tackle an old man in order to retrieve a license plate to avoid going to jail? Us either. Let's talk about that, government drones spying on Bryan, how heavy is a standard watermelon, how accidentally killing a puppy resulted in somehow feeling ok about making your dad cry, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna becom
Can You Don't? | Body Box. Snoring. Backwards Satan. Jiggle Fest.
Have you ever wondered what a snoring hummingbird sounds like? No? Well, I bet you are now! Let's talk about that, how common actually still being alive is when doctors go to harvest your parts, some wild music conspiracies that have made their way to Uncle Zaq's lap, bailing out on the stripclub because you decided to go to an adult porn store beforehand, and more on today's episode of C
Can You Don't? | Leaf Rewards. Pants Button. S'more. Old Spruce.
*Jason (495651) in prison, we read your letter!*Why does every piece of tech these days feel like they NEED to have some sort of reward system?! Let's talk about that, looking forward to going on vacation so much that you ignore the fact your wife just died, trying to bite your way through a tree trunk, stuffing marbles up your dick hole, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!***
Can You Don't? | Witness Birth. Frog Cop. Wax Joint. Infected Spots.
Call us old fashioned, but the words "good father" don't usually belong in the same sentence as "threw an infant across the room into the bed frame." Let's talk about that, when a change in plans goes from thinking you're about to do something awesome to re-painting your house, wiping up tears using a foil hotdog wrapper, losing your virginity with the help of a wax joint, and more on tod
Can You Don't? | Boner. WNBA. Face Shot. Keys in Door.
We all get a little annoyed when guests overstay their welcome for one reason or another. Now, imagine if you had someone over and they didn't leave for 45 years! Let's talk about that, why are WNBA games included in our WYR about breaking bones or watching people die, another glorious Pornhub year in review, learning that dudes also have a pelvic floor they should be strengthening, and m
Can You Don't? | New Cat. Two Pencils. Lobster. Taco John's.
We can understand stealing expensive things like diamonds, watches, jewelry... but a ton of lobster?! Let's talk about that, wrapping your kid up and hanging them on a hook, why we don't deserve dogs, shoving weird stuff up your b-hole, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons m
Can You Don't? | Arial Depression. Chocolate Tube. Swimming. Camel Kick.
For the most part, going to church is a pretty chill experience. And most definitely not high up on the list of places you'd expect to get kicked in the face by a camel. Let's talk about that, having a serious conversation with someone while wearing a wildly inappropriate shirt, barfing up chunks of ham onto a dong you're blowing, doing your best Elvis impersonation in the back of an ambu
Can You Don't? | Skunk Shin. Saxophone. Seasons. Splinter.
Every time I go to upload the episode this week, I get an error. So I'm sick of rewriting a witty episode description. If this ends up being what you see... it worked. Fuck this shit.*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the w
Can You Don't? | Peacocks. Sheep Spit. Skynet. Tell Me Again.
When you have a late-night hunger craving, sometimes it's hard to suppress it. But if that craving ends up causing a felony level of damage in order to satisfy... maybe ignore it. Let's talk about that, having to deal with your partner using their phone while watching a movie then they ask you to pause the movie so you can catch them up, of course there's a sheep shit spitting contest out
Can You Don't? | Drunk Raccoon. Tow Truck. Weight. Tasty Mutilation.
AI has the power to do a lot of good for the planet... but doesn't it feel like we can all agree that implementing AI into kid toys at this stage in its development is a bad idea? Let's talk about that, eating too many stuffed mushrooms while recording, a special moment with your kid turns into a fight, your dead body being towed around town for half a month because humans simple don't ca
Can You Don't? | Needle Nose. Cone Killer. Babydust. Kaleidoscope.
We have all been in intense arguments over something stupid. However, those arguments don't usually end in gunfire over how many eggs a chicken can lay. Let's talk about that, heading over to Facebook groups to find sperm donors, vivid memories of kaleidoscopes but no one actually likes them, almost dying while replacing an outlet, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna b
Can You Don't? | Sticky. Wiggle Chair. Tacoma Santa. Kidney Fight.
LALALALALALALALA! Whatever. DOOOOOOOOOOON'T CAAAAAAAAAARE!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE! This is the biggest way you can support the show. It would mean the world to us: http://www.patreon.com/canyoudontpodcast ***New Episodes every Wednesday at 12pm PSTWatch on Youtube: h
Can You Don't? | Snowball. Pointers. Mamba. Gorilla Couch.
Advertising has always been a little out of control, but making people watch ads in order to wipe their ass might be just a bit over the line. Let's talk about that, redundant things we all say like stupid idiots, sticking your arm under the lap bar of a rollercoaster to keep a stranger from flying out, pouring coffee all over yourself... again, and more on today's episode of Can You Don'
Can You Don't? | Mayo Meltdown. Lens Crafters. 100 Million. Airport Lounge.
AI is being implemented in all facets of our lives, which is great, unless you're listening to an episode of this podcast. Then it's bad. Let's talk about that, gaslighting in an airport lounge, how many people you'd kill to protect your family, losing your shit over mayonnaise, and more on today's episode on Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra con
Can You Don't? | Bass Drum. Colorblind. Fish Tank. Butt Breathing.
Have you ever voted on behalf of your dead mom, got caught, and were forced to write a ten-page essay on what an idiot you are? Would you rather just go to jail or write the essay? Let's talk about that, colorblindness making you feel completely useless, running into a blind person in the hallway, carrying a bass drum around with you everywhere you go, and more on today's episode of Can Y
Can You Don't? | Tall Can. Stopping. Elephant Parking. Gravy Coupon.
There comes a point when trying to help people who have lost everything that the entire situation would have been better off had you done literally nothing at all. KFC didn't get that memo. Let's talk about that, shoving a tall can of beer up your butt for a couple days, another example of the darker side of AI which humanity gets to look forward to, having a family picnic on the side of
Can You Don't? | Unwrapping. Swan Warden. Worm Charming. Joey Hogbone.
How much weight do you think the position of "Volunteer Swan Warden" holds on a resume? Let's talk about that, trying to go about your everyday life knowing exactly how you were going to die, a brand new most annoying thing to do in public, pretending you're trapped in an active shooter situation in order to make new friends, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become
Can You Don't? | Fake Name. Begging. Lefty Loosey. Sperm Racing.
Nothing really brings the boys together like wearing racing jackets, being obnoxiously loud, and cheering on your sperm as it races against your buddy's sperm on a tiny sperm racetrack. Let's talk about that, your stance on giving kisses after someone goes down on you, having an absolute meltdown in front of the police after giving them a fake name, the best place to crash your car if you
Can You Don't? | Crying in Bed. Wallet Drugs. Cow. Heart Attack.
If aliens offering immortality landed on Earth tomorrow and were willing to take you on a tour of the entire universe BUT you could never return to Earth... would you go? Let's talk about that, why the heck Bryan was crying in bed like a giant man-baby, another doctor doing more shady shit while he shouldn't be, the amazing world of counterintuitive but true facts, and more on today's epi
Can You Don't? | Inside Out. Goose Men. Traffic. Airplane Pasta.
Joe might run for Mayor. And his entire platform will be built around upgrading ONE GODDAMN THING THAT HAS BEEN LEFT BEHIND SINCE 1995! Let's talk about that, what it would be like living with 20 tiny men, can the washer/dryer actually turn your clothes inside out, winning a sweepstakes promising 'money for life' but having that company go bankrupt, strangers using a trampoline to save yo
Can You Don't? | Role-play. Mac Salad. Flare Gun. Ticket.
How are serving sizes set? BECAUSE NO PERSON ON PLANET EARTH WOULD CALL THAT AMOUNT AN ACTUAL SERVING! Let's talk about that, taking the wrong kid home from daycare, getting shot in the face with a flare gun by your elderly neighbor, getting a seatbelt ticket after breaking nearly every bone in your body, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle an
Can You Don't? | Survey. Astronaut. Excel. Disabilities.
We've never had sex with a hamburger... but maybe we will after today's episode. Let's talk about that, the worst advice from an implied expert in his field, spraying disabled kids with your sprinkler system while they load and unload the school bus, wearing the perfect pajamas to fight crime, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?! *** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access a
Can You Don't? | Brain Box. Speedo. Flamboyant. Flip an Egg.
Bryan is so close to shoving something in his butthole. Let's talk about that, the embarrassment of getting stuck in a tube slide as a grown-ass man, why can't we put whatever little pictures we want on our license plates, messing everything up when you're only just trying to help, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra c
Can You Don't? | Terrified. Canadian Elk. Random. Pizza?
I think we all know that feeling when you just NEED to have a drink... but I'm not sure if stopping for beer while on your way to the hospital with your wife after you just shot her is ever a good time for a drink. Let's talk about that, why is Canada so amazing, selling seats at your wedding to help cover the cost, forgetting where you parked your airplane, and more on today's episode of
Can You Don't? | Baywatch Boobs. Oven Door. Chiropractic. Nipper.
The future of relationships is going to be a little nutty. Imagine being with someone who only caters to your wants, needs, and world view... it's going to be hard to stay with a real person who challenges you when AI will just praise you and make you cum. Let's talk about that, why we all collectively do things we know are bad for us, how sexualized TV shows were in the 90's, streaming p
Can You Don't? | Gerbil Cannon. Napkin Chair. Gold. T-bone Steak.
Imagine all the things you purchase while out and about in your neck of the woods. Now imagine if the only way to purchase those things required you winning them via a claw machine. Let's talk about that, eating the perfect butt biscuit at a 5-star restaurant, catapulting your old pet horse over a zoo fence, how insane rich people's dinner etiquette actually is, and more on today's episod
Can You Don't? | Hockey Stick. Soap Bar. Dinner. Lalalalala.
Planet Fitness may not be the last place you'd expect to see a naked man running around in the ceiling, but it's probably pretty damn close. Let's talk about that, being high as f-word on weed gummies all the time, a never ending debate about snapping a hockey stick over your knee, some insane war stories, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle a
Can You Don't? | Putin. Music Bingo. Nest. Pencil Party.
We're not doctors by any means, but something tells us that muting a patient's vital signs because the beeping is interrupting your game of music bingo isn't a good idea. Let's talk about that, arresting a man in a wheelchair for kicking a door down, watching a girl rub herself while she's rubbing your poop all over her body, having sex with Putin, and more on today's episode of Can You D
Can You Don't? | Stick Butt. Glass Shard. Centaur. Fun House.
Fashion is a funny thing. And chimps are taking it to a whole new level! Let's talk about that, adding lead-based paint to school lunches for some reason and getting hundreds of kids sick, an AI band that is doing better than probably 99.9% of real people bands out there, Joe almost getting blasted by a rogue shard of glass at the dump, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wa
Can You Don't? | Lazy Susan. Medication. Bladder. Kit Kat.
Is it just a 90's kid thing or is something wrong with us? But every time we imagine something spinning we can't help but think about the Goddamn Gravitron! Let's talk about that, an awkward time to be informed that big Kit Kats are back in stock, why do pharmacies always seem like such a pain in the ass, a flight getting grounded over a stupid text message, and more on today's episode of
Can You Don't? | Tin Cans. Garbage Man. Etiquette. Nude Beach.
We all know the ol' tin can and string telephone trick, yeah? What if that was your only form of communication regardless of the distance? Let's talk about that, jumping off a cruise ship to save your daughter, parents asking you to do shit at the worst possible times, luring a bank robber out of hiding by dangling soda from a drone, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna
Can You Don't? | Penis Fingers. Boomerang. Lid. Robot Boxing.
Sometimes someone's name just fits who they are and what they do, right? So when you find out what Patches Magickbeans did... you'll have that same "that checks out" type of feeling. Let's talk about that, having a giant lid stuck around your neck for two years, if a boomerang doesn't come back is it still a boomerang, jerking off your fingers just enough to complete a given task, and mor
Can You Don't? | Snort. Sketch Artist. Gerty. Male Escort.
When you think of jobs Bryan could possibly have in this world... would you ever imagine courtroom sketch artist?! BECAUSE IT F**KING HAPPENED. Let's talk about that, snorting liquid poop off your mom's finest china, the worst blowup doll for your dog, your grandma giving her entire estate to a male escort, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle
Can You Don't? | Counterfeit. Costco. Floppy. Gaping Goose.
Did you know that there's a bunch of people out there showing up to airports thinking their Costco card is an acceptable form of ID? That's silly. Let's talk about that, taking a trip to the Gaping Goose, finding a briefcase full of cash with a severed finger inside it, Bryan having no clue how the show works 157 episodes in, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become
Can You Don't? | Fake Job. Golden Ticket. Suffered Walrus. The Letter B.
Half marathon? Hard. Full marathon? Very Hard. Ultra Marathon? Insanely hard. Ultra marathon while breastfeeding a baby and still managing to win your division? WHAT IN THE F**K?!?! Let's talk about that, IOU a rimjob Willy Wonks candy bars, accidentally spilling 70,000 lbs of bees on the highway, Joe smashing his head into the ceiling in an airplane bathroom, and more on today's episode
Can You Don't? | Turd Throw. Shoey. Popeye’s. News Baby.
AHHHHHH!!! THREE YEARS ALREADY?! You guys are amazing. Thank you so much for all the support over the last few years. Hopefully you enjoy this FLONG'ED out episode to celebrate three years of utter nonsense we like to call Can You Don't?! HUGS AND TUGS.*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of each episode PLUS tons more?! Our Patreon page is LIVE!
Can You Don't? | ***FREE BONUS PREVIEW*** Holding Cell. Harrison. Finger. Oh, Crazy.
*** FREE BONUS CONTENT PREVIEW AT THE END OF TODAY'S EPISODE | PLEASE CONSIDER JOINING PATREON ***There's only so many ways to make a pickle... pretty sure that's all you need to know. Let's talk about that, what to do when someone starts talking to you during a movie, sticking things in your butt while your dad takes a shower, slamming your dong in a doorknob while your partner carries t
Can You Don't? | Woodpecker. Fertilize. Murphy. Antivenom.
What position did you play?! Let's talk about that, the implications of having one arm that's an entire foot longer than your other arm, lonely people caring way too much about their Roomba vacuums, all the different "laws" that people use to navigate society, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content on the end of e
Can You Don't? | Farm Noises. Dry Toes. Violence. Shipwreck.
IT'S SIMPLE. DO YOU WANT A GUN AND DRY TOES, OR NO GUN AND WET TOES?! Let's talk about that, how much would it cost to have a peacock as a pet, trying to convince your partner that your favorite show isn't more violent than her favorite show, talking in a cartoon character's voice during sexy time, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and acces
Can You Don't? | Soda Space. Mount Fuji. Moms. Tarantula.
If your car was stolen from your driveway and you just happen to find the exact same car you had stolen posted for sale online 70 miles away... would that raise any red flags? Or would you just be pumped you found the same exact car online and buy it immediately? Let's talk about that, having to be rescued while hiking the same mountain TWICE in 4 days, sharing your dream home with a gian
Can You Don't? | Popcorn. Catholic. Electric. Survival Wiener.
What would you do if you were babysitting, the kid you're babysitting asked you to check under the bed for monsters, then when you do check there's a FUCKING PERSON ACTUALLY UNDER THE BED?! Let's talk about that, the fastest little wiener dog in the world, why is everyone throwing popcorn around the movie theatre, asking your mom to buy you presents because your husband can't seem to figu
Can You Don't? | Meth. Slug Shoes. Bad Girlfriend. Fabric Seats.
Is there anything more romantic than having some sloppy anal sex next a pile of used heroine needles? Let's talk about that, how fun it would be to be buried alive, using a dead mouse to stop a co-worker from stealing your frozen burritos, doing lots of a little things to get revenge when you're upset with your partner, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part o
Can You Don't? | Fitted Sheet. Powerful. Wifi. Morally Gray.
A lot of our lives depend on having an internet connection, but have you ever tried to kill your mom because the Wifi got turned off? Let's talk about that, sharing dick tattoos with your coworkers, how does laundry detergent continue to get more powerful, having to address shady conversations you hear in public, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!And a message from your sponso
Can You Don't? | Flaming Ship. Viagra. Sneeze. Truck Nuts.
Everyone likes to have their ear nibbled on a little bit during sexy time. It feels pretty dang nice. But what if we added a harmonica to the mix? Let's talk about that, a prankster that doesn't quite understand the limits of a prank, running against your sibling in a political race, trying to talk a stranger into letting their child tickle your feet, and more on today's episode of Can Yo
Can You Don't? | Terminated. Water Fountain. Next. Hairy Shoes.
If you had magic semen that could cure any disease in the world... would you walk around children's hospitals and be a hero, or would you avoid them because... you know... that could get very awkward? Let's talk about that, Bryan getting flipped off everywhere he goes, what some evil piece of shit did in an Orlando airport, why can't anyone figure out to effectively talk about their plans
Can You Don't? | Seat Settings. Rope Swing. Toes. Shingles.
If you had to take a blind guess, how much do you think someone could sell a couple severed, dog-vomit covered human toes for on the black market? Never thought that would be a question we would ask ahead of today's episode. Let's talk about that, what Joe is really thinking about when riding in the car, probably the most messed up use for AI thus far, what's ok to adjust when borrowing s
Can You Don't? | Oysters. High Knees. Bland. Goblin Crawl.
When you think of having the ideal birthday, I bet you picture that day involving cleaning up someone else's poop all day long, right? Perfect. Let's talk about that, hiding milk in your school's ceiling tiles, dirty talking during sex about mashed potatoes, where the f***k did the Moses Lake fountain go, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle an
Can You Don't? | Meatus Hole. Giant Cube. Cotton. Emergency Donuts.
Bryan pissed the bed. Let's talk about that, trying to reason with criminals over splitting lottery winnings because they stole your credit card to buy said winning lottery ticket, an insane giant mega-cube that houses over 400,000 people, how Bryan actually pissed the bed, and more on today's episode of Can You Don't?!*** Wanna become part of The Gaggle and access all the extra content o
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