The School of Life
The School of Life podcast applies classic philosophy, modern psychology, and culture to everyday issues like work, love, anxiety, and the search for meaning. Each episode explores deep questions of the human condition through calm, insightful audio essays designed to help listeners understand themselves and the world around them. Topics include self-knowledge, relationships, career fulfillment, and strategies for resilience. The podcast aims to help listeners manage emotions, develop better relationships, and find peace of mind.
Episodes
PSYCHOTHERAPY - Jacques Lacan
Jacques Lacan was France’s most famous psychoanalyst, who came up with the intriguing concept of the ‘mirror phase.’
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Why Dating Harms Your Psychological Wellbeing
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
This film explores the genuine brutality of dating, where every casual encounter feels like a referendum on dying alone. Understand the cycle of hope, rejection, and emotional exhaustion as we navigate a search for love and escape cosmic alienation. #DatingLife #Singleness #ModernDating #Existentialism #Relati
Historical Hangovers Making Us Unhappy Today
When trying to understand why we might be feeling unhappy, we tend to be drawn to reasons relatively close to home: it might have to do with friends, relationships, health, jobs, families or schedules. What we tend not to do, however, is to start talking about our place in history; it would sound overblown or plain bizarre to begin to pin a sizeable share of our difficulties to broad historical an
How To Overcome Rejection
Rejection is always painful; it need not be a tragedy.
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Why We Feel Lonely and Odd
We feel lonely and odd because we mistakenly assume that the kind of thoughts and fears we have will have no echo in other people. They do; it’s just we haven’t found a way to speak to one another honestly about who we are.
FURTHER READING
“There are few more shameful confessions to make than that we are lonely. The basic assumption is that no respectable person could ever feel isolated – unle
ORIENTAL PHILOSOPHY - Matsuo Basho
Matsuo Basho was one of the most famous Zen poets of Japan, who alerts us to the neglected beauty and interest of everyday life, and thereby reconciles us with our own circumstances.
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The Perils of Oversharing
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On Embracing Melancholy
The word 'melancholy' puts its finger on a particular species of sadness, which isn't an illness or even a problem: it's part of being human.
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Being Charmed Along
When we’re down or melancholy, the last thing we need is someone who will jolly us along.
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What to do about Sleep Loss
Insomnia is in essence a revenge for all the thoughts we forgot to have in the day.
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Why It Might Be Your Physical Self - Not Your Thoughts
One of the paradoxes of trying to understand our minds is that, at particular moments, we need to acknowledge that what passes through them may have very little to do with the workings of these minds themselves but rather our bodies.
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Meritocracy
We've been taught to feel very good about the fact that many of our societies are now apparently 'meritocracies.' But the concept of meritocracy is - from close up - rather more peculiar than modern politicians make out.
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We're on Tour Throughout America
Come and say hello in the following places:
New York City
Tues 14th June 2016, 6.30-8.30pm
http://www.cooper.edu/events-and-exhibitions/events/alain-de-botton-course-love
Philadelphia
Wed 15th June 2016, 7.30pm
https://libwww.freelibrary.org/authorevents/index.cfm?id=56550
A Free Library of Philadelphia event.
Cambridge: SOLD OUT - SORRY
Fri 17th June 2016, 6.00pm
http://www.harvard.com/event/al
SOCIOLOGY - Alexis De Tocqueville
Alexis de Tocqueville was a 19th century French aristocrat with some crucial things to tell us about the strengths and weaknesses of that once-new and now widespread political system: democracy.
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How to Uncover What's Actually on Your Mind
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Computational Intelligence
Should we be scared of artificial intelligence and all it will bring us? Not so long as we remember to make sure to build artificial emotional intelligence into the technology.
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When Love Gets Hard
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The One Question You Need to Know Who You Are
There is one question that, perhaps more than any other, gets to the root of who we are and what motivates us: “What did I need to do in childhood to win the support and approval of my parents?” We might - to sharpen the picture - need to lean on a few subsidiary enquiries…
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HISTORY OF IDEAS - Customs
Our societies have dropped ever more rituals from our calendars. The long history of rituals seems to be winding down. That’s a great pity.
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How to Tell If You're Terrified of Closeness
Sometimes we may end up in a couple where we spend a lot of time complaining - to concerned friends and family - that the other person is evidently and committedly ‘afraid of intimacy.’ They don’t often talk of their emotions; they may find it hard to be physically cosy; they don’t cry so often.
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Alain de Botton on Romance
The School of Life founder (and voice behind this channel) Alain de Botton lays out his ideas on love in the modern world - at a conference by Google held in London in May 2016 called Zeitgeist [many thanks to them for the film].
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The One Relationship Principle That Truly Matters
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
Are you mistaking pain for passion? This film delivers a vital lesson: the only love worthy of the name is reciprocal love. We explore why we settle for ambiguity and emotional unavailability, tracing this self-abandonment back to childhood trauma. Learn the non-negotiable rules for healthy, fully present, and
Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person
This video sees Alain de Botton, Creator of The School of Life and narrator on the majority of our videos, talking at a Google event in London in 2017.
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Eastern Vs Western Philosophies of Happiness
The answer to what humans need to find happiness is entirely different in the East than the West. Westerners would do well to understand the Eastern point of view.
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When and Why do we Grab our Phones?
We may check our phones to see if any messages might have come in, if someone posted an interesting film, if something dreadful has happened overseas. But this is in danger of sounding far too normal and too kind to us. The truth is a lot darker and rather more humbling.
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Stop Broadcasting Your Anxieties on Social Media
Nowadays, in our more difficult moments, many of us turn to social media for reassurance. Unfortunately, we're more likely to encourage further self-hatred.
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You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/3MWP2rK
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Stop Being Nice All the Time
Nearly all of us wish to be known as 'nice' people. Yet our happiness may depend on a willingness to be — at points — strategically selfish.
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Who Am I?
What is it that makes us most distinctively ourselves? Our bodies, our memories, our values...? Take a tour through the philosophy of personal identity.
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The Three Steps to Making Someone Fall in Love With You
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/ This film explores the three non-negotiable psychological ingredients that lead to deep connection, transforming mystery into actionable insight. Learn how Curiosity, Broad-Mindedness, and Kindness are the real keys to romance—and why you should only ever choose a partner who seeks to truly know and accept your
Why You Should Endeavor to Be More Self-Serving
The real danger for most people is not that they ignore others in the name of their own needs, it’s precisely the opposite: that they constantly put aside authentic inner development for the whims of so-called respectable opinion.
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How We Assist Exes Create a Wonderful Future #animation #relationships #theschooloflife
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
Ever wonder why your ex is so happy? This film explores the bittersweet truth that we often serve as the unwitting teachers for our ex-partners, helping them mature into ideal future companions. Discover how our most painful relationship struggles can become the groundwork for someone else's happiness, and—wit
Should I Prioritize Passion or Obligation?
When it comes to deciding what to do with our lives, we are frequently presented with what looks like a very painful choice: the passionate path vs the safe path, but which is best for us in the long term?
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You Still Have a Chance to Be Genuinely Original
The key to originality doesn't lie in seeking out new ideas and experiences, but rather in examining our own neglected thoughts.
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The Pleasures of Fundamental Disagreement
It’s extremely nice when other people agree with us. But it’s also not unpleasant when we find people whose views revolt us completely.
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Why You Should State What You Need
There is a widespread tendency to assume that others must know what we mean and want without us having actually told them clearly. We assume that if they don’t, then it must be a sign that they are being wicked or deliberately obtuse. The truth is we have forgotten the fundamental importance of teaching.
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Why we should show our hurt rather than argue
Our tendencies, when we’ve been slighted by our partner, is to wound them back immediately. We would have far calmer relationships and kinder ones too, if we could just reveal our hurt – rather than inflict it back.
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On Still Being a Virgin
Our era of sexual liberation encourages us to have sex; but at the same time, hugely stigmatises those who don’t have it, from choice or circumstances. It’s time to liberate the idea of lingering or ongoing virginity from the shame it’s currently surrounded by.
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How Romanticism Destroyed Love
The set of ideas we can call Romanticism is responsible for making our relationships extremely difficult. We shouldn’t give up on love; we should just recognise that it’s a skill, not an emotion.
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How to Attune to Your Feelings... and Why It Counts
How could we lose touch with feelings that belong to us? Where might they go? And what might be driving their loss?
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If Your Parents Weren't Listening to You Properly...
There are few more important tasks for parents than to be able to listen properly to their children. It’s on the basis of having been listened to with close sympathy and imagination that a child will later on be able to accept themselves.
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You can read more on this and other subjects here: https://bit.ly/39RwTwy
“There are few more important tasks for parents than to be able to l
How To Be A Good Listener
Listening is something we’re very reluctant to do, not because we’re lazy, but because we have never actually been taught how to do it properly, in a way that can be interesting and rewarding for us.
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What to Do With Your Trauma?
The word ‘trauma’ captures an acute paradox in our relationship to our own histories: some of what is most significant in our lives is inaccessible to day to day memory; the more important something is, the less we may be able to recall it.
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PHILOSOPHY - Emil Cioran
Emil Cioran is Romania’s most famous thinker: his darkly pessimistic philosophy is a perfect antidote to the sentimental cheeriness of our times.
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The Untold Force of Missing Someone
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LITERATURE - Fyodor Dostoevskii
The Russian 19th century novelist Fyodor Dostoyevsky deserves our attention for the austerity and pessimism of his vision – from which we can nevertheless gain enlightenment and hope.
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LITERATURE - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Ralph Waldo Emerson taught us about the presence of nature and something a little divine inside all of us.
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Conquering Your Cruel Inner Voices
All of us have deeply unhelpful inner voices inside us, dragging us down with criticisms and unfair accusations. Wisdom involves learning how to replace them with more benevolent guides.
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How to Tell When You've Found a Great Partner
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
Want to know your partner's true character? This film explores the paradox that we often only see a person's authentic self when the relationship ends. Discover why the breakup reveals more than years of marriage—exposing hidden immaturity, or surprising decency—and why you should marry the person you'd want t
Why We Need to 'Feel' - and Not Merely Think
We often say we ‘didn’t get on too well’ with our father or that our mother was ‘slightly neglectful’ thinking we have a solid grip on events. However it is these compressed, ready-made, affectless accounts that stand in the way of properly connecting with our past and thereby truly knowing ourselves in the present.
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Novice Philosopher: Nietzsche, Apollo & Dionysus
Friedrich Nietzsche believed that human life is fundamentally divided into the 'Apollonian' and the 'Dionysian'.
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How to Enrich Your Friendships
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
Think great friendship is just luck? This film proves otherwise, presenting Eight Essential Rules for deep, fulfilling connection. Learn to ask the right questions, create space for vulnerability, manage your own anxiety, and cultivate the sincerity and kindness needed to be a truly better, more understanding
How To Break Through Psychological Barriers
We humans are extraordinarily and painfully vulnerable creatures. Especially in our early years, we are at huge danger of being psychologically damaged by those around us. Damage is in one way or another always caused by a shortfall of tenderness and care. As we might put it, it’s caused by a shortfall of love. Examples of shortfalls of love are very varied: perhaps at an early point someone went
Self-Esteem
To have sound levels of self-esteem is one of the gateways to happiness. But achieving this has very little to do with the progress of our careers.
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Peter Gabriel on Songwriting
#petergabriel #music #interview
The great musician Peter Gabriel came to do an event around the corner from the School of Life's London HQ: a discussion on music, philosophy, science, therapy and... apes.
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Why We Must Slow Down in Love
Emotional Intelligence, Daily. Start now: https://www.theschooloflife.com/subscription/
Is true relationship success rooted in the ability to be alone? This film explores the uncomfortable truth that making peace with singlehood isn't about finding joy in solitude, but accepting its difficulties. Discover how this radical acceptance can become your greatest strength, fostering the clarity and cou
Why You Still Have Time To Pivot Your Career
We often feel as if we might have run out of time to change career. That’s because we usually have a wrong understanding of time.
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COME AND MEET US IN PORTUGAL
On October 20th, we're gathering in Lisbon, Portugal for a big conference centered around all the themes on this channel, including love, wisdom and fulfillment. It'll be a chance to meet fellow followers of the channel, to learn great new things and to make friends.
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A Question to Ask Ourselves When We're Down and Distrustful
There’s a difficult mood we’re in danger of falling into that’s made up of four elements in particular: low spirits, guilt, paranoia and irritability. It’s in such a mood that we might step back and ask ourselves a distinctive question:
"Might I - at heart - be very angry with someone right now?"
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In Praise of Self-Examining People
However healthy it often is to try to fit in and assume we must just be like everyone else, there are also benefits in sometimes accepting that we might in the end not be and this needn’t be a cause of concern or shame.
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SOCIOLOGY - Auguste Comte
The 19th century thinker Auguste Comte invented a religion without a God in it. It was a fascinating move that deserves to be studied today.
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Is There an Alternative to Political Correctness?
Political correctness aims for some very nice results, but its means have a habit of upsetting a lot of people. Might there be an alternative to it? We think there is, and it’s called Politeness.
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Rising Above Childhood
Our childhoods have a deep and often seriously troubling impact on our adulthoods; what happened at 5 will still be colouring how things are for us at 55. It's something we need to learn to adjust to.
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POLITICAL CONCEPTS – Jean-Jacques Rousseau
The 18th century Jean-Jacques Rousseau made the bold claim that modernity and civilisation are not improvements; they’ve dragged us from a primitive state of innocence and happiness. Please subscribe here: http://tinyurl.com/o28mut7
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Why We Are All Hooked
When we think of an ‘addict’, certain stock images come to mind: a homeless person sniffing glue, a gaunt figure with a heroin needle in their arm. But this masks what is in reality a far more universal phenomenon. We are all addicts.
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LITERATURE - Voltaire
Voltaire was one of the wisest, funniest and cleverest people of the 18th century. He continues to have lots to teach us about toleration, modesty and kindness.
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What is Rising Prices?
Economists constantly refer to inflation and tend to suggest it is a Very Bad Thing. But why exactly, where does it come from and what could one do to tame it?
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The News is Driving you CRAZY
We are used to thinking of what we call the news as a tool that can help us to vanquish ignorance. But what it continuously - albeit slyly - does is encourage us to forget entirely what we actually feel in relation to certain events and crucially why that is so important.
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The one question you must comprehend to understand who you are #shorts #selfcare #importantquestions
There is one question that, perhaps more than any other, gets to the root of who we are and what motivates us: “What did I need to do in childhood to win the support and approval of my parents?” We might - to sharpen the picture - need to lean on a few subsidiary enquiries…
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POLITICAL DOCTRINE - Thomas Hobbes
Thomas Hobbes believed that it is always better to have security rather than liberty in a country. He was therefore deeply opposed to the English Civil War – and would have predicted the chaos of the Arab Spring.
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The True Reason We Toil So Much
We work as we do because – of course – we need to; because nothing is cheap, because the bills are incessant; because of all the good and wise and sensible reasons that we’ve been highly aware of since mid adolescence at least. But that is too neat and we know it deep down; we know that there is also – alongside this – something more complicated that we use the idea of necessity to avoid.
Enjoyin
Do This When Your Battery Is Depleted
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Why It Really Is All About Your Formative Years
The founding principle of modern psychotherapy - that it is all to do with one’s childhood - can sound especially irritating. Why should we be forever tied to things that happened infinitely long ago?
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Why We Become Lonely
It’s an embarrassing confession, but many of us spend a great deal of our lives asking, week after week, always with the same blend of frustration, despair and puzzlement: Why am I so lonely? The real answer is likely to be far less punitive and in its way far more logical…
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How Will We Go?
Death will come to all of us, but how and when? A little film investigates – and is meant to scare us in good way, remembing us of the preciousness of each new day.
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Open Up
There is still so much we are never quite able to tell those close to us about who we are and what we want. We should dare to have the important conversations.
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The Risks of Losing a Sense of Self
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Have you ever encountered someone who seems to shift their identity effortlessly? This film explores the profound challenge of lacking a sense of self, often rooted in childhood experiences where authentic expression was stifled. Understand the complexities of loving someone who struggles to know themselves, a
Why You Will Never Discover The Right Person
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No One is 'Conventional
Everyone assumes that they are the only one to be freakish. In fact, of course, it’s very normal to be abnormal.
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The Importance of Vulnerability
We often imagine that what will win us friends and esteem is strength. But surprisingly, it’s vulnerability that’s at the core of friendship and likeability. This is an invitation to make friends with one’s own weaknesses.
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A Novel To Strengthen Our Love Lives
The founder and creative director of the channel, Alain de Botton, has written a novel called THE COURSE OF LOVE. If you enjoy the channel, you'll enjoy it.
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