Self Care and Chill With Maui
A bunch of laughing and finger snapping while we talk about relationships, sex and self love.
Episodes
Life Be Lifing EP:114
Can you believe this podcast is almost 6 years old? I’m grateful. On this episode I talk about exactly what the title says, how life be lifing! Trying to balance motherhood and show up for myself. Not always getting it right but staying committed to taking things one day at a time. It takes a real desire and commitment to make sure that you’re intentional about showing up for yourself and giving y
New Year New You EP:113
Happy New Year everyone. On this episode I touch on a few things that would be beneficial to work on in the new year. Locking in with yourself and tapping into discipline. Giving yourself grace and sticking with you boundaries. Being honest about how you really feel and not waiting until you can no longer take something to finally explode with your true emotions. I have also included a free ebook
Growing Apart EP:112
This episode is about growing apart and needing space. Not allowing your ego to get in the way of maintaining relationships or friendships that are meaningful to you. It’s really hard when you love someone or you want to make it work with them but it’s just not happening. If you can relate this episode is for you. Tickets to my upcoming showsPhillyhttps://www.etix.com/ticket/p/93060025/maui-the-wr
Girl Talk EP:111
So many things have happened to me and here is an update of what’s been going on. Just some girl talk and of course some advice. Just reflecting on friendship and love; there is so much that I have learned from my journey . And I’m so grateful that, you all have been growing with me and watching all of this happen is real time.Make sure you check out my website for my new book and show tickets.htt
What About Your Friends EP:110
On this episode I talk about a blog that I wrote on my Substack about what friendships have taught me in this season of my life of being on tour. How curiosity can give us the clarity that we need all by just asking our friends questions and not avoiding uncomfortable conversations. Clarity gives us space to be vulnerable and get closer. But your friends don’t deserve to be treated like they are d
He Uses You For Sex EP:109
On this episode I talk about being in a situation with a person who provides the bare minimum to you spiritually but enjoys the benefits of your company and enjoying you sexually. Knowing and understanding that, people are doing what we allow them to do, because we are not properly communicating our standards or expectations. How do we get to a point that someone is coming over our houses all the
You Move Too Fast EP:108
On this episode I talk about how it pays for you to take things slow and really get to know someone. Dating for a week and then it turning into sex and then hanging out at your place or their place is not dating. That’s just laying up. I give my opinion on what I feel like dating should look like, how to be intentional with the questions you’re asking and how to not waste your time or have someone
They Don’t Deserve You EP: 107
On this episode I talk about so many different things. Settling, knowing your worth, being exhausted trying to make a relationship work and spreading yourself thin. This was a really good episode. I’m also going on tour and would love to see yall there here are some links for what I have going on!Preorder my new book Still Unlearninghttps://www.mauithewriter.com/products/pre-order-still-unlearning
A Muva EP:106
Happy muvas day to every woman, mother or not. Todays episode I honor a few different dynamics of mothers, sisters and daughters and what it means to be a mother. Today is also my first show of the year on Mothers day and in NY how ironic for it to be today of all days? I am so excited, you can still get tickets to join us using the link below. Enjoy. https://citywinery.com/new-york-city/events/ma
Who Do You love? EP: 105
On this episode of who do you love I talk about nurturing other relationships outside of our romantic ones. I challenge you to prioritize the things that are important to you and that you enjoy doing with the same enthusiasm used to plan a date with your man. We neglect so many aspects of who we are to show up for other people, we stop spending time with friends and family or even self development
Validation EP:104
This episode I talk about seeking validation from our friends and partners. Making our own decisions and being comfortable with the choices that we make. It is so easy to get caught up in how we think other people are viewing us or their perceptions of us. Making choices you are happy with unapologetically. I have a mother’s day poetry show coming up in New York and have also included the ticket l
Are They Using You? EP: 103
Are you entertaining transactional relationships by overextending yourself, people pleasing or associating your worth with being needed? Some people love of for what we do not who we are and what we can offer that benefits them . The quote goes “judge a man by his patience when he has nothing and his attitude when he has everything” People tolerate more when they need someone it’s not until they a
If You Love It Let It Go EP:102
The poem in the beginning is called “you ain’t never loved nothing”.This episode I talk about letting go, being uncomfortable, celebrating yourself and all that you have. I had a conversation yesterday where I mentioned this, but this has always been a theme in my life. Not celebrating myself or my journey just always focusing on what I need to do next or be better at. Look around, you so far from
Discipline Is Self Love EP:100
Today I talk about Ramadan and fasting. Fasting from social media and people. Starting a 30 day self care challenge. Prioritizing your time so you can take care of yourself and not make excuses for all the stuff you need to be doing. How would you feel if you realized the biggest distractions In your life were the people you are around? Are you not able to juggle it all, are you being a follower o
Keep It To Yourself EP:99
It’s been a while and I have missed all of you. I have still been going to therapy and now back to working on my psychology degree. Being a mom of 3 has been dragging me by the hair but I’m doing my best! On this episode I touch on a few topicsForgiveness Being mindful of who you take advice from and tell your business toBeing mindful of when you are wasting your advice on people who are committed
You Move Too Fast EP:98
On this episode we talk about pacing yourself when dated to give yourself time to see exactly who someone is. It is no benefit to us to move fast when taking our time could not only lead to the same results but more than likely better results. Pacing your love because not everyone deserves it and sometimes we have so much of it to give too much of our love to people who are only there to use us up
You Forgave That Man But Not Her EP:97
On this episode we talk about a few things and one of those things are the reason behind why it is easier for some of us women to give more grace to the men in our lives who have betrayed us but not to the women in our lives who we have built friendships with? Granted I do understand that there are complex situations, but in the scenarios where a conversation could have been had why did that not h
Who The F Are You? EP:96
If you’re tuned into this episode know that I miss you and am so happy and grateful that you all have been patient with me. But as I said, write down a few things that you do without blaming someone. Because there is always going to be someone who mishandled you, but I want you to focus on the emotions that you felt instead and how it has shaped you. Also when I say “Why do you do the things you d
LEAVE THAT MAN ALONE EP:95
On this episode I talk about having the strength to leave a person that isn’t good for you | Giving yourself grace for not knowing better and the patience to do better. | I want people to write down a prayer for themselves that they can go back to, to remind them that they deserve better. Ask yourself why do I keep settling for this? Why do I keep going back? Why can I not be alone ? For tickets t
Standing On Business EP:94
On this episode we talk about standing firm on our boundaries when it comes to how we allow people to treat us and show up for us. Not being afraid to express exactly what it is that we want. Holding people accountable but also holding ourselves accountable also. And treating self care like it is a necessity, which it is in order to take care of yourself. If you haven’t check out my books on my we
Seeing Your Inner Child EP:93
On this episode we have our special guest AJ McQueen. I ask him about growing up in St. Louis, mental health, relationships, his inner child, therapy and what does self care mean to him. The episode was really great and he dropped so many gems that people would be able to take away when it comes to how to show up for themselves, be confident and give themselves grace. Check out his music and tour
Why Did You Stay With Them EP:92
On this episode we talk about what the people you have loved had in common and where they a REFLECTION OF YOU? What did certain people show you when it comes to your healing? What did you admire about them if anything? What are some things that your inner child really need as a child that you can supply them with right now to make them feel loved and safe ? You’re not on this journey alone, there
Love, Therapy and Boundaries EP:91
On this episode I talk about all of the things that I have been learning in therapy and utilizing in my daily life. Boundaries, communicating, validating emotions and getting my needs met by my partner. This season of my life has felt so transformative and I feel like I’m becoming a different person emotionally, so of course I wanted to share this with all of you. Let me know some of the things yo
Gratitude And A Home Birth EP:90
This episode is mainly my birthing story and how Hos does so many things in our lives that show us how grateful we should be.
Thank You To My Man EP:89
This episode is all about love! With Valentine’s Day coming up I wanted to leave you with a few to look for while dating someone or dating yourself!
New Year New Me In 2024 EP:88
This episode is filled with everything that we need to be leaving in 2023 and not bringing into the new year! It’s a new year and new version of ourselves for everyone! I hope that you use this year to really tap into your full potential and take advantage of all the beautiful things that you have going on in your life!
Self Sufficient Women Enjoy Help Too! EP:87
Today I talk about why do men help women who bring nothing to the table but are reluctant to help women who they see are already doing so much on their own? Do they feel like since she can do it all what does she need me for? Or do they just naturally have no desire to offer or be of service to her because their ego desires someone who NEEDS them?
Cheesecake Factory First Date EP:86
This episode is about where you are going or not going for first dates and why. They made a list on Instagram of first date places that women don’t want to go to and I also made a list of 9 qualities I think are important for you to notice if someone has when you are dating or in a relationship with them. These qualities are important to me, but that doesn’t mean they have to be for you lol. Anywa
Love Takes Bravery And Vulnerability EP:85
I start off with my new poem Invisible Girl
On this episode I talk about how much courage it takes to walk into love with no wall up. How walls may protect you but they also keep things from coming in, some really beautiful things. Don’t be afraid to show up as your full self in any type of relationship, WE ARE NOT STARTING FROM SCRATCH WE ARE STARTING FROM EXPERIENCE. If you are afraid to be hurt
Not Getting Your Needs Met EP:84
On this episode I give a recap and talk about not feeling guilty about expressing what you need. A lot of the times we don’t want to feel like we are a burden or asking for too much so we allow ourselves to continue to be unsatisfied or to feel unappreciated. It is okay to ask for what you need, it is okay to say “this is not working for me, let’s try a different way” , you do not have to settle f
Give Yourself Some Grace EP:83
On this episode I talk about letting people live in their world of delusions, being accountable if you’ve been the delusional one and forgiving yourself but not being too hard on yourself because you are doing your best. Make sure you get tickets below for the last poetry nights that I will be having for the year !!!! NY 9/28 Indy 10/5 Boston 10/13 St. Louis 10/20 https://beacons.ai/maui_w
Stop Lowering Your Standards EP:82
Today I talk about not watering down your expectations or desires because you’re with someone you feel like will never give it to you. Don’t make excuses for why someone won’t show up for you or try and convince yourself that you don’t need certain things in a relationship because you’ve accepted the fact they won’t put the effort in to do it. Make sure you get tickets to see me in New Yor
Are You A Placeholder? EP:81
On this episode I talk about being a placeholder. Allowing someone to continue to reap benefits from you while you never get what you want in return, they will use you up while they wait for what they actually are looking for. I talk about people leading you on, being misleading or saying anything you want to hear so that they can keep using you. Check out my books at www.mauithewriter.com and
Stop Taking Them Back EP:80
On this episode we talk about how being in toxic relationships also effect the other personal relationships in your life. Everyone from your friends, to your children and family, can get hurt by seeing someone they love constantly being hurt.
I talk about choosing yourself, letting someone go, creating a list that will help you with perspective and not having to beg someone for what you need.
Y
You’re A People Pleaser
Sending love and prayers to my friend and sister Andrea Jones and healing strength to her family. This episode is for my people pleasers, I beg you to stop doing more for people who already don’t appreciate you. Stop going out of your way for people who hurt you, stop allowing people to keep using you, save some of YOU for YOU!!!
I Had To Get My Lick Back EP:78
On this episode we talk about wanting to get your lick back or revenge on people who have hurt you or embarrassed you. We talk about being hurt by people that we cared for and really having to sit with those emotions of betrayal and embarrassment. I also answer 3 audience questions. Also check out all my books and use the code LOVE for free shipping at www.mauithewriter.com
It Is Not Your Partners Job To Make You Happy EP:77
On this episode here are some of the topics that I talk about
Its not your partners job to make you happy all the time
Its not your partners job to do the work for you
Outgrowing or not outgrowing people
Soulties
Being proud of yourself
Expressing how much you love people and not being afraid to be vulnerable
MAKE SURE YOU FOLLOW ON INSTAGRAM AT @SELFCAREXCHILL
CLICK THE LINK BELOW FOR
I HAVE BEEN HURT BUT I DESERVE LOVE EP:76
On this episode I talk about how being hurt can change the way that we love and our ability to let people in to also love us properly. I talk about being comfortable expressing your standards, qualities to look for in a partner, breaks during relationships and being with someone on your emotional level. You deserve to experience a love that has no limits when it comes to you and a love that will s
He Is Not Your Man EP:75
This episode is for the people who are pouring into and building connections with people who have no desire to be with them or take them seriously. Set boundaries and expectations when it comes to dating so that you do not keep wasting your time on dead end situationships
Lets Talk Sex, Positions and Relationships Ft: Ler and Lionel EP:74
On this episode of Self Care and Chill we talk about everything sex related. From being a late bloomer, trying new sex positions and even relationships. I had a great time recording this episode because it was super funny yet informative. If you were a tom boy like me growing up I know you will really be able to relate to some of my experiences. I loved how open Ler and Lionel were on their perspe
I Have A Surprise And Some Advice EP:73
Hey y’all ! I wanted to give y’all some updates on what’s been going on in my life! From my baby turning 1 being in the middle of a sold out poetry tour! Let’s do a little recap and all the things I learned walking into 2023! You can watch this whole recap on youtube too so that you can see some behind the scenes from the poetry shows that we have been having.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qqhZ1
Health, Healing And Relationships Ft: Adjua Styles EP:72
Check this episode out NOW ON YOUTUBE!
This episode with Adjua Styles was so great! Adjua a mother, an author, a business woman, health advocate and the wife to Styles P. We talked about health, relationships, healing and dealing with grief. On this never ending journey of healing and discovering different layers of yourself, her strength is so admirable. I hope this episode allows people to see d
A Tired Mom EP:71
This episode we talk about making time for ourselves and our partners as moms. Sometimes it is so difficult to find that balance and find time to not only make your partner feel loved but yourself. I wanted to talk to you a little about what I have been doing and what has been the key to my self care routine when it comes to showing up for myself. Buy tickets for the tour https://beacons.ai/maui_w
Dont Turn Me Off Ft: Nigel Euro EP:70
I sat down with Nigel Euro and we talked about him being on the last season of Too Hot To Handle on Netflix, relationships, dating and holding himself accountable on certain decisions that he has made when it has come to dating and relationships. The interview was very light and fun. Make sure that you follow him on instagram at @nigeleuro_ on instagram and follow the @selfcarexchill podcast insta
I Got Cheated On EP:69
On this episode I answer 2 questions that were sent to the podcast page @selfcarexchill and I talk about being cheated on. The emotional hurt that you have to deal with when you’re cheated on and all of the things that we “tried to do right” I also have a bunch of shows coming up so make sure you follow on social media to stay up to date !
Single But Not Lonely On Valentines Day EP:68
Thank you for tuning into a new episode of Self Care & Chill with Maui. We talk about being single, knowing our worth, standing on our boundaries and not settling. A lot of what we touched will be in my new ebook I am dropping today at www.mauithewriter.com I also took a trip to Scarsdale NY and went to @farmacyforlife so make sure you check them out on instagram for all of their vitamins
New Year New Me
A mini episode of motivation. I missed all of you so much. I just wanted to stop by and give you a recap of what has been going on in my life and send you some light. Use the code selflove for a discount at mauithewriter.com
Tell Me How To Love You EP:67
This episode I talk about if it is okay to tell someone how you want to be loved or should they just know? At what point are we self sabotaging relationships by expecting people to be mind readers? Or should we not have to explain certain things to someone who is interested in us? What are some things that you are not willing to explain to someone "At this big ole age" as you all like to say? lol-
I’m Not Happy In My Relationship EP:66
This episode we discuss not being happy within your relationship and two people putting in the effort to make the relationship work. Being comfortable communicating about what you want and not feeling bad. This is your life make sure you are living the life that you want and not the one that you settled for. Use the code selfcare for a discount at www.thesoftestlife.com and for relationship books
A Lonely Holiday EP:65
I am sending you love if this is your first holiday alone. Somebody loves you and it is okay to surround yourself with people that remind you how loved you are!! Enjoy 50% off the entire website when you use the code BLACKFRIDAY www.thesoftestlife.com
First Date Sex EP:64
This episode we talk about having sex too fast. Is there a time limit? What should we look for when dating someone? How do I know of things are moving too fast or if this person is worth my time? I hope you enjoy! Follow on social media at @selfcarexchill @maui_w @thesoftestlife
Being Single Is Boring EP:63
This episode is for single people who are just tired of being by themselves. I feel you, I understand you and I get it. It will be worth it in the end knowing that you didn’t settle! Use the code LOVE at mauithewriter.com for free shipping on my relationship books
I Dont Feel Considered EP:62
This episode we talk about not feeling considered or appreciated within your relationship. Something that I feel is super important in order for a relationship to prosper and work. We also talk about how lonely and ugly your self love journey can be in the beginning stages when you are trying to figure out who you are. This journey is not about being perfect, it is about making progress to be a be
We Don’t Have A Title EP:61
Today we did a Q&A and just some mini advice and words of encouragement for anyone who has been wasting their time with someone who doesn’t want any tittles. Use code MAUIDARES at Dare To Have Hair for your hair!! Happy self care Sunday!
Oh You Being Sneaky EP:60
So on this episode we discuss what exactly is cheating, what are the dos and do nots while on a break and guys who are nice but do not want to be in a relationship. Make sure you follow on Instagram at @selfcarexchill and @maui_w
Splitting Bills & Dating EP:59
This episode we talk about splitting responsibilities in the household. The bills aren’t my issue, it’s the men who do not realize that they are requiring their women to do all of this housework and still GO TO WORK.
He Cheated And I’m Staying EP:57
The title says it all. Today I am talking about staying in a relationship after your partner has cheated and trying to navigate that relationship. Make sure you follow on Instagram @selfcarexchill and Maui The Writer on YouTube
I Feel So Alone EP:56
This episode we talk about getting through feeling alone, not liking who we see in the mirror and learning to feel better about ourselves. Make sure you subscribe to the YouTube Maui The Writer and follow the instagram pages @selfcarexhill and @thesoftestlife
I Love A Married Man EP:55
This episode I answer a listener’s question about her relationship she currently has with a man that is married. What should she do? Should she move on or is it okay because he isn’t happy? Make sure you run into this episode. Follow on social media @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife
Healthy Relationship Tips EP:54
This episode we discuss some things we can work on to make our relationship better and healthier. Make sure you follow on Instagram @selfcarexchill and follow @thesoftestlife
I Don’t Know How To Love Me EP:53
This episode I talk about what my self love journey looked like in the beginning for me, what I learned in some relationships and what made me start it. I hope someone needed to hear this today. Make sure you follow on Instagram @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife
I’m Just Too Nice EP:52
This episode is for the ones who are always nice to everyone when they like someone or are dating. Liking people way too fast, doing the most and not thinking of yourself. Meet me in Wilmington De 8/31. Make sure you follow on Instagram @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife
I Want My Partner To Do All The Work EP:51
Todays episode I talk about making sure you can reciprocate what you require. A lot of people are looking for other people to show up in areas in their life where they lack and looking for void fillers. Being honest and accountable if this is us in relationships and doing the work to change that. Make sure you follow on Instagram @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife
How Do I Know When To Leave EP:50
This episode we talk about how do we know when it is time to leave someone. Knowing our worth, creating boundaries and not allowing people to treat us how they see fit. Hopefully this is confirmation for someone who has been trying for far too long to make something work with a person who continues to do things to jeopardize everything. Make sure you follow @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife on I
The Sex So Damn Good EP:49
On this episode I am talking to the people who are finding it hard to let go of someone because the sex is good or they have caught feelings for someone who they only have been having sex with. Realizing that the standards we have for ourselves should be more than how well someone can have sex with us. Make sure you follow these instagram pages @selfcarexchill and @thesoftestlife
Be Submissive They Say EP:48
This episode we talk about all of the social media talk we hear about women needing to be this or be that for a man. There are too many posts telling women how to treat a man and not enough statements to help women understand what type of man deserves that type of treatment or helping men understand women more or treat them better. But have no fear, Maui is here and she has an opinion. Make sure y
I Love Me More Than You EP:47
This is one of my favorite episodes I have did in a while. I went through messages sent to the self care page and many of them were very sad relating to what people are settling for in relationships. On this episode we talk about what we love ourselves more than. I hope someone really needed to hear this today. Check out the instagram page @selfcarexchill and make sure you check out @fitbeads.co a
He Doesn’t Want A Relationship EP:46
So you have been talking to someone for months and they still aren’t ready for a relationship? Well here is what I think about wasting your time by allowing someone to string you on. This episode also features our partner @fitbeads.co where you can use my code MAUI20 for 20% off your first order of waist beads.
I Have Sex Too Fast EP:45
On todays podcast episode we discuss the people who have sex too fast during the dating stage. YES, you can do what you want with your body but it’s also okay to wait until you’re comfortable. I also have partnered with @fitbeads.co and you can use my code MAUI20 for 20% off your first order of waist beads, you know we love a good discount 💙
I Love A Bum EP:44
This episode we talk about the people who are choosing to be in relationships with people who do nothing for them. The people who are laying next to someone right now who couldn’t help them with an electric bill or the candles they will need when they are in the dark. Let’s rescue these people from the bare minimum.
True Partnership EP:43
On this episode we talk about what real partnership is in a relationship and what that looks like to you. What could you or your partner be doing to make sure that you both are showing up as team players everyday?
I Don’t Want To Be Hurt EP:42
This episode we talk about not wanting to be hurt so we walk through life trying to avoid the very thing that we continue to attract. So what can we personally do differently, so that we can receive different outcomes? Make sure you follow on instagram at @selfcarexchill
Aries Besties EP:41
This episode is a short one to give my favorite podcast listeners a recap on what has been going on with me, I hope you enjoy. You can also check out @womb.ish on instagram for doulas and also doula training.
They Show No Effort EP:40
Today we discuss people showing no effort, we also discuss men lacking the leadership qualities that it takes to allow women to be in tune with their softness and femininity. Two of the books I’m reading are Sacred Woman by Queen Afua and Taming the Tiger Within by Thich Nhat Hanh. Also check out @Anpu1.1 instagram page this is the live that I have been checking out lately.
What’s Love Got To Do With It? EP:39
This episode is a short episode for self care Sunday reminding you time choose yourself even when it may be a little difficult or hard. Choosing to not continuously stay where you are hurting and find the time to reset and regroup. I hope you enjoy. You can check out my books at mauithewriter.com or follow my social media @maui_w or @selfcarexchill
He Got To Know You & Didn’t Like You EP:38
On this episode we address a tweet that I posted on my instagram that many people seemed to have an opinion on. “He got to know you and didn’t like you”. The lies we tell ourself and not being honest about the inconsistency that people show us in the beginning and making excuses for it.
Loving Yourself Is Boring EP:37
This episode is about how difficult it may be to love yourself, exercise boundaries or figure out exactly what makes you happy. Make sure you check out my books on my website mauithewriter.com
Love & Basketball Ft: Khalif Wyatt EP:36
So on our first episode of 2022 we have a special guest and one of my favorite people Khalif Wyatt. We talk about him playing basketball overseas, mental health in men, creating his sports apparel brand and also our relationship and things that we have learned. Everyone who checks out this episode and uses my code MAUIW can receive 2 FREE books with their black and gold order from his website www.
I’m Having A Baby!! EP:35
This episode is kind of self explanatory from the title, but in case you missed the news with my maternity photo on Instagram this weekend, I came to share the news personally with all of you. I am so excited and grateful. I also cannot believe I have kept this from all of you for months but nonetheless here we are. So here are all the deets. Follow on social media @selfcarexchill and @maui_w
A Bad Bish With A Broken Heart EP:34
This episode we are talking about getting our heartbroken and trying to heal. We are letting go and getting in tune with who we really are. It is okay to cry and be sad but we will not be in the same spot that someone left us.
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