Beyond Pronatalism | Finding fulfillment, with or without kids
Beyond Pronatalism explores the societal pressures to have children and how individuals navigate these expectations. Host Nandita Bajaj interviews people from diverse backgrounds who are redefining family and fulfillment, whether through being childfree, adopting, or creating close-knit communities. The podcast challenges pronatalist norms and offers intimate conversations about unconventional life choices.
Episodes
Lindsey Harrington | Nobody's Mother
Growing up in rural, Catholic Newfoundland, Lindsey absorbed the expectation that motherhood was her destiny. Seeking external validation through relationships with men, she struggled to understand why traditional family life seemed to come so easily to others but eluded her. Writing her book, Nobody's Mother: A Childfree Memoir, saved her life and helped her discover that she was chasing a life s
Sarah Benesch | The Life We're Taught to Want
Growing up in the counterculture of the 1960s, Sarah felt alienated when her peers embraced the traditional path of marriage and family, while she pursued a life of scholarship. Pulled by the strength of pronatalism, she briefly experimented with marriage only to realize that path was not for her. In her book, Pronatalism: Discourses and Counterdiscourses, Sarah examines the pronatalist tropes tha
David | Collapse and the Ethics of Procreation
Raised in a conservative Christian family in Germany, David was raised with the belief that marriage and children were inevitable, an assumption he carried into his relationships despite privately questioning the morality of procreation. When he learned that his fertility was severely impaired, he felt an unexpected sense of relief. As his concerns about climate change, animal suffering, and an un
Alex | Reimagining Life Without Children
Alex grew up immersed in the pronatalism of suburban family life, and she assumed marriage and motherhood were in her future. Now married, a recent health diagnosis has complicated her plans to conceive. Alex's strong environmental values, minimalist approach to consumption, and desire for 'slow travel' have kept her and her husband open to the possibilities of a fulfilling childfree life. See ep
Therese Shechter | Joyfully Dismantling the "Womanhood" Script
Therese grew up assuming marriage and motherhood were simply part of her future, even though she sensed from early adulthood that neither felt right for her. It wasn't until she was 40, as she became a documentary filmmaker with her first film, I Was a Teenage Feminist, that she realized she was already living a fulfilling life. That awakening led her to examine — with meticulous research and a st
Nathan | Being Childfree: The Personal is Political
Nathan knew from a young age that he never wanted children, a resolve that only got stronger as he woke up to pronatalism in college. Now in his late 30s and in a committed childfree relationship, Nathan values the freedom that being childfree allows him — from reflecting in solitude and going on long bike rides with his partner, to enriching his political awareness and writing about social justic
Elisa | Living with Ecological Grief
Raised in Greece by progressive, highly educated parents, Elisa felt little pressure to become a mother and ultimately chose a childfree life shaped by concerns for her own mental health and the future of life on Earth. We explore her work on ecological grief and why society often overlooks grief related to environmental loss and the death of companion animals. Dedicated to the protection of anima
Erich | How Raising Siblings Ended the Desire to Parent
As the oldest child, Erich spent much of his youth caring for younger siblings and cousins, and that experience squashed any 'parental instinct' he might have had. Repeatedly denied a vasectomy as a young adult, he endured years of frustration and several pregnancy scares before finally receiving the procedure that brought him lasting peace of mind. By his mid-thirties, Erich concluded that he pre
Molly Peacock | A Poetic Childfree Life
Raised in a chaotic and violent household, poet Molly Peacock knew from a young age that she didn't want to be a mother. Escaping the trauma that surrounded her, she developed a rich, internal world of poetic imagination fed by voracious reading and writing that would lead to her decades-long career as a poet, biographer, and essayist. An accidental pregnancy at age 38 led Molly to affirm h
Jenn | In Search of a Childfree Partner
After watching her parents struggle raising her and her siblings and experiencing similar challenges with extensive babysitting in her youth, Jenn knew that she didn't want children. But cultural narratives made her believe that motherhood was mandatory, pushing her to become engaged to a person who wanted children and wasn't right for her. Two years later, realizing that she was unwilling to comp
Emma Duval | Beyond Motherhood and Christianity
Raised in a religious and pronatalist French family, author-illustrator Emma Duval (also known as Millennial Emma) knew from a young age that she did not want children. Discovering an online childfree community in early adulthood gave her the language and sense of belonging she needed to embrace the childfree choice and resist the pronatalist pressures from family and religion. Her book Unwed and
Steve | On Being Raised by a Regretful Mother
Raised in a violent home by an alcoholic and regretful mother and mostly absent father, Steve knew from an early age that he did not want to become a parent. His journey as a young man from the U.S. to Venezuela led him to found a family planning organization serving rural women, work that brought him both purpose and healing. His choice to be childfree and vegan reflects enduring concerns about o
Bella DePaulo | The Power, Freedom, and Joy of Single Life
Raised in the dominant culture that equates fulfillment with marriage and children, social scientist and author of Single at Heart, Bella DePaulo, came to recognize that living single was her most authentic and joyful life path. Over decades of research, writing, teaching, and community organizing, she has challenged the harmful stereotypes and systemic biases faced by single people, while elevati
Lisa | A Childfree Comedian Walks into a Bar
Growing up on military bases in a traditional family with traditional expectations, comedian and author Lisa Rimmert always assumed she would have children. But the desire to become a mother never came. After weighing the choice with her husband, they realized that simply "not wanting children" was reason enough, and they found great clarity and freedom in the decision. Now in her early 40s, child
Dina | Combatting Sexual Violence
After surviving sexual violence at age 13 in Indonesia and receiving little support from authorities, Dina Chaerani dedicated her life to advocating for survivors and promoting comprehensive sexuality education. Now living childfree with her partner in the Netherlands, she still faces intense family and social pressure in Indonesia to conform to traditional expectations of marriage and motherhood.
Parker | Getting a Vasectomy at 18
Parker had known since he was young that he didn't want children, a choice his parents fully supported. However, his request to get a vasectomy at 18 was denied by most medical professionals on the basis of his age. After a lengthy deliberation process, one clinic agreed to perform the procedure on the condition that he freeze his sperm. Now 22, Parker chats about the relief he and his partner fee
Sabrina | Building a Childfree Community
Raised in Peru in a loving family, Sabrina felt affirmed early on in her desire to not have children. But, after moving to Portugal in her 30s, she faced a lot of societal judgment about her decision to remain childfree. With support from her partner and inspiration from the stories she's heard on the Beyond Pronatalism podcast, Sabrina is now building a supportive childfree community in Porto. ht
Sarah | Breaking the Silence on Abortion
Raised within pronatalist rural Midwestern US, Sarah experienced an accidental pregnancy while serving in the Peace Corps and chose to have an abortion. Feeling ashamed and lonely, she turned to the healing power of nature by hiking the Appalachian Trail and found the courage to write a book and speak publicly about her abortion experience. A decade later, Sarah remains grateful for her abortion,
Mike and Nandita | A Life-Changing Conversation
Mike and Nandita met in a philosophy class in Toronto. Nandita was trying to break out of the traditional cultural norms of her Indian upbringing. Mike was dissatisfied by the hyper-consumerist norms of his culture. With shared values around environmentalism, minimalism, and philosophy, they instantly connected — a connection that soon blossomed into a relationship. A transformative conversation a
Diana | Motherhood Beyond Patriarchy
Growing up in the Soviet Union, Diana felt intense pressure to both excel professionally and become a mother. As a young adult focused on her academic and professional path, her parents' unrelenting pressures for grandchildren left her feeling angry and betrayed. Her rebellion led her to create a multi-media project about regretful mothers titled Undo Motherhood. An accidental pregnancy followed b
Christine | More than Childless or Childfree
Christine grew up in a rural community in midwestern U.S., fearing teen pregnancy and sensing early on that motherhood didn't appeal to her - as she longed to broaden her horizons through education and travel. After an abusive marriage and a long, difficult divorce, she felt both relief that she hadn't become a parent in that relationship and grief that the choice was no longer hers. Today, Christ
Lucy | Thriving Solo
Growing up Lucy assumed she'd follow the traditional path of marriage and motherhood but, as she grew older, she found herself increasingly questioning the dominant cultural script. Despite a brief period of intense broodiness, she realized that the single, childfree life gave her the freedom, peace, and purpose that she craved. Today, through her Thrive Solo podcast and book, Lucy empowers other
Pamela | Surviving the Trauma of IVF
Distraught by her infertility diagnosis, Pamela pursued the IVF pathway. A decade of costly and painful failed fertility treatments left Pamela traumatized. Determined to expose the exploitative and dangerously pronatalist practices of the highly unregulated multi-billion dollar fertility industry and to bring together other IVF survivors, she founded the "silent sorority" community and the ReproT
Mandy | Ending a Bad Arranged Marriage
Mandy, a Singaporean teacher of Indian descent, entered an arranged marriage where her decision to remain childfree was first accepted but later challenged by her Indian husband and in-laws. Pressured to have children and provide a dowry, she risked the stigma of divorce rather than compromise her values. Today, Mandy lives happily childfree, courageously embracing a life true to her authentic sel
Rebecca | Sisters as Chosen Life Partners
Rebecca grew up homeschooled in a patriarchal American family, later serving as a Marine, attending university, and traveling the world. Bound by the shared trauma and values of their upbringing, Rebecca remained very close to her sister. Awakening to feminism and the planetary crisis together, they both decided to not have children. Today, Rebecca and her sister live together as each other's chos
Sneha | Standing up to Patriarchy
Raised in a conservative Indian family, Sneha knew from an early age that she didn't want to have a biological child. As a teen she discovered her queer identity, and in her twenties Sneha made the difficult but liberating decision to leave her parents' house and hometown. Sneha has rejected the patriarchal expectations of procreation and marriage and embraced her own path - filled with strong fri
Elena | Reimagining Family After Cancer
At age 27 Elena is diagnosed with an advanced cancerous brain tumor. As she confronts this life-changing and grief-filled reality, she also wrestles with the question of whether to bring a child into the world - balancing her love for children and the future she once imagined against her understanding of ecological overshoot, pronatalist pressures, and the profound uncertainties of life itself. ht
Pip | The Joyful Simplicity of Being Single
From a very early age Pip sensed she didn't want children, and a diagnosis of premature ovarian failure at 15 confirmed that path. As she grew older, Pip found herself desperately searching for the perfect partner to complete her. A chance conversation blew open the door regarding societal expectations around relationships, sex, and conventional measures of success. Childfree, single, and celibate
Joe | Every Earthling is My Family
Growing up in rural England, Joe knew early in life that he didn't want children and felt a deep connection to the natural world. While navigating pressures to conform to "normal" life, he lost that connection in his 20s. Now, alongside his partner, he's built a purposeful childfree life rooted in love for nonhumans — founding and managing an ecocentric journal called The Ecological Citizen and wo
Sonia and Aamer | A Conscious "One & Done" Choice
Originally from Pakistan and now based in Canada, Sonia and Aamer met as adults. They decided together that they wanted to become parents, but were also deeply concerned about the environment. After spending a few years carefully weighing their emotional and financial readiness, environmental values, and desire for parenthood, they chose to have one child. Right after the birth of their son, they
Jennifer | From Divorce to Self-Discovery
After nearly becoming a mother in a marriage that wasn't right, Jennifer shares how divorce and a commitment to self-definition became her path to clarity. Starting over has been emotionally wrenching, but she's forging her own path of deep friendship, meaningful community service, and dedication to authentically being herself. https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/jennifer
Kat | A Black Feminist Upbringing
Raised in a Black feminist family of highly educated women committed to service, Kat Calvin grew up without the pressure to marry or have children. Single and childfree, Kat channels her time and energy into projects that make a difference - building a life of purpose, freedom, and joy. https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/kat Interested in being on the show? Submit your st
Paddy | Joyfully Rejecting the System
Paddy's emotionally-detached boarding school upbringing left him distrustful of authority, including the unspoken expectation to have children. A growing awareness of ecological and social crises and the desire to break a cycle of generational family trauma led him to choose a vasectomy. Today, he and his wife enjoy a joyful life while standing up to oppressive systems. https://www.populationbalan
Luke and Stefanie | The Simple Joys of a Childfree Life
Luke and Stefanie reflect on how, free from strong family or religious pressure and true to their own desires, they were able to make an early, mutual decision to live childfree. They reflect on the enormous emotional weight they've seen parents carry and express a profound relief and gratitude that they can enjoy meaningful, well-lived, childfree lives in kinship with the natural world.
Elizabet | Confessions of a Regretful Mother
Elizabet, the daughter of Bulgarian immigrants in the Czech Republic, shares her experience of coming out as gay in her teens and subsequently raising a child alone. She now speaks openly about her parental regret, rooted in her worry for both her child's future and her deep love for the natural world and concern for its destruction. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: http
Chetana | The Gift of Biological Childlessness
A childhood illness leaves Chetana unable to give birth. After enduring the pronatalist shame of biological childlessness for many years from both her Indian immigrant family and the broader Midwestern US culture, she reflects on the possibilities this opened up for her, and how many women are denied those possibilities by pronatalism. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: h
Bob | An Adoptee's Journey of Self-Discovery
Born to a barmaid and adopted into a Southern Baptist home at the age of 6, Bob struggled with forming attachments. At 74, Bob reflects on the unconventional pathway his life took and what it took to find himself. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/bob Interested in being on the show? Submit your story here: htt
Jane | An OB-GYN on the Lack of True Choice
Jane went into obstetrics and gynecology after her own terrifying pregnancy experience. Now a fulfilled single mother of two, she shares her observations on the pressures women experience to have children, on the ethics of having children amid the global ecological crisis, and on her own fight against the pronatalism of her profession. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript:
Mariko | Mixed-Race and Childfree
Raised by a Japanese father and a German mother in two contrasting cultural settings, Mariko always had the alienating sense of not quite fitting in. To spare their children the same unease, and to follow their personal life passions, she and her partner choose the childfree path. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podca
Olivia | The Fear of Missing Out on Family
Olivia and her husband are both fairly certain they don't want biological children, but they deeply value family and are afraid they'll miss out. The challenges of the adoption process have thrown them into a state of uncertainty about how to have the family they crave, while staying true to their convictions. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalanc
Nicole | The Rich Lives of Women Without Kids
Nicole grew up in a traditional household in Brazil, but knew from an early age that motherhood was not for her. When she found herself with a partner who decided he did want kids, she embarked on a journey of discovery about the many pathways life could take outside of our reproductive capacity. This journey included not only deep self-reflection, but interviewing 14 incredible women and publishi
Melissa | The Joys of the "Empty Nest"
Following in the footsteps of her grandparents, Melissa gave birth to four kids in rapid succession. She found raising children - who include Population Balance Board Chair Lukas Eddy - to be incredibly rewarding, yet wishes she had first taken the time to discover herself. As an empty nester, she is finally finding that time. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://ww
Juan Camilo | Childfree Biologist on Eco-Crises
Juan Camilo made a decision when he was just a teenager: that he would not bring children into a world where they would suffer. Despite the pressures of living in conservative Colombia, he has managed to stick to his convictions and now teaches graduate students about how they can reduce their environmental impact by having fewer kids. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: ht
Milly and Mik | The Joys and Challenges of Adoption
Raised in disparate cultures across the world, Milly and Mik had different ideas about what kind of family they wanted. But there was one thing they agreed on: adoption (of three dogs and a child!) was the way to go. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/milly-mik About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids
Laura | Escaping Trad Wife Culture
Raised in the conservative Deep South of the United States, Laura always believed having kids was a requirement. When she found out it was optional, suddenly everything changed. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/laura About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in
Ash | Rejecting Mormonism and Motherhood
A Mormon upbringing, an accidental pregnancy, and lack of access to abortion services drove Ash to bear a child against her wishes. Committed to taking back her stolen autonomy, Ash chooses a surprising path. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/ash About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids is one of the
Hans-Peter | Vasectomy as a Gift of Love
Raised in a small Catholic village in Germany, curious 13yo Hans-Peter used his first paycheck to buy a Bible. A deep dive into Chritianity drove him to stand up for reproductive rights and ecological sustainability, and on his 25th birthday, he gifted himself a vasectomy. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/hans
Sara | The Relief of IVF Failure
Unable to have children naturally, and driven by her fear of regretting childlessness, Sara sought IVF in her late 30s - a journey that was physically, emotionally, and financially harrowing - only to realize that she had just dodged a pronatalist bullet. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/sara About Beyond Pro
Tania and Brian | Healing Together with Animals
Deeply in love with each other and their 38 animals, Tania (a Ukrainian asylee) and Brian (a Latino/Native American) share their vastly different upbringing that set them on their childfree paths. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/tania-brian About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids is one of the bi
Vincie | Disrupting Family Expectations
Born and raised in densely-populated Hong Kong, Vincie shares her journey of wrestling with traditional Asian family norms and creating her own chosen family. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/vincie About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives, and yet
Lili | Escaping the Dread of Motherhood
Born and raised in Haiti, and now living in the US, Lili talks about how she found peace after many years of dreading motherhood within a pronatalist culture that values large families. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-podcast/lili About Beyond Pronatalism To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we m
Juliana | Childfree for Earth and Animals
Raised within the religiously-conservative Colombian culture with a lonely and isolated childhood, Juliana describes her journey of finding liberation by rejecting harmful societal norms and choosing a radical pathway of becoming a childfree environmentalist and animal rights activist. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronatalism-
Mary Pat | Shaking Loose from Catholic Roots
Raised in a large Irish-Catholic family at the height of the 1960s liberation movements in the United States, Mary Pat unpacks her many life transformations, from rejecting her pro-life roots and choosing a small biological and adoptive family to becoming a staunch advocate for the rights of people, animals, and the planet. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.p
Brittany | Leaving Religion to Find Herself
Raised in an extremist religious community within the United States, Brittany, the youngest of 11 children, recounts her story of navigating her aspirations for freedom against the backdrop of an intensely oppressive and neglectful upbringing and how she mustered the courage to break free. See episode website for show notes, links, and transcript: https://www.populationbalance.org/beyond-pronat
Trailer | Beyond Pronatalism Podcast Launch!
Official Trailer Podcast Launches on July 30, 2024! To have or not have kids is one of the biggest decisions we make in our lives, and yet how many of us know that we even have a choice about how we define and create our families? Beyond Pronatalism host Nandita Bajaj interviews women and men from diverse backgrounds who are courageously and creatively navigating pronatalism - the powerful pressur
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