botanical studies of internet magic
A podcast exploring creative alchemy, world-building, and the internet through the lens of botanical studies. It delves into how digital spaces and natural metaphors intertwine to inspire artistic and imaginative processes.
Episodes
hello again, a new season
saying hello, after a while. this is a quick note just to check-in, and share some ideas, intentions, and possibilities for this next season of this podcast / audio channel... I'd love to hear from you. 🪷 send me a note~🗝️ labyrinth library, season 3💌 receive my letters🗺️ visit my world
34. architecting your digital abundance
I'd like to share 5 distilled principles that transformed how I inhabit my business -- as a living ecosystem that centers my creative energy, above all else. learning, evolving, and embodying these principles took me so many years. I'll share the journey and the hard lessons I learned in the process, and map these principles onto a 12 week itinerary for my new course, Digital Abundance --
33. creative wealth is wealth
today, I'm explicitly naming the paradigm shift that changed everything for me -- the belief that my creative energy is the source of my material abundance. my creativity is not a liability, a luxury, or a burden; it is my greatest resource. I'll be naming the wound -- I'll share the story of working through shame, exile, and the long, lonely journey of risking everything for a vision. I'll tell y
32. business words I never use
when thinking (or talking) about my business, there's at least twenty words I don't use -- many of them super basic, like "marketing," "sales," "landing page," "launch," or "productivity" ... even "goals." I've rewritten my own creative business dictionary -- because language shapes our relationship to our worlds. I'll lis
31. community as creative practice
I love making art in the void, and I've felt called to build a community. this calling is probably precisely because I have such a complicated relationship with community. I've run away from them. I've chosen self-exile. I've swung from hyper-independence to over-responsibility. in this episode, I'll share how I'm thinking of shaping my community as creative companionship,
30. spring itinerary for the unknown
today is an atmospheric map for our slow transition from winter into spring — through the archetypes of Pisces, Aries, and Taurus. we'll explore how to work with these energies in deepening into the creative life.I'll share why thinking in seasons has become such an important practice for me, and my intentions for this coming season, along with personal life context. we'll dive into th
29. the work is the medicine you need.
this is about trusting in the work you need, and how creating from necessity is a form of creative power, because it keeps you close to what's vital, alive, and electric -- more than any "should" energy ever could. I'll explore how generative discomfort can be used as fuel for excavating creative potential, and how to sense into what's ready to be metabolized -- into medicine
28. money as creative practice
changing your relationship to money is not a 10 step checklist, it's tending to an ongoing practice -- with curiosity and tenderness -- as you do with your creative work. I'll share my own personal stories and significant reframes -- money as a circle, as feminine force, as a child of your creative energy. I'll walk you through my 7 practices for working with money -- and invite you to
27. make art the center of your world
part 3 of a mini-seriesremember that your art is not an afterthought -- it is the center that holds everything. it's the life source that feeds your creative world. in this episode, I'll examine the ways we're taught to think about the binary of art vs. business -- and propose my third way of deep integration. this means allowing your artist child to grow up -- and claim their voice, p
26. make an offering, weave your web
part 2 of a mini-serieswhen tending to my business, I bring it back to two practices -- making offerings, and weaving my web. I share how I think about offerings as sacred containers, organic shapes, and potent distillations of your creative energy -- into usable form. I'll talk about weaving your web as an energetically efficient, long-term strategy that builds your body of work, and invites
25. make the work, share the work
to begin the new year, I’m creating a 3 part mini-series with grounding anchors; minimalist instructions for navigating the uncertainties of the creative life. when in doubt, or overwhelmed, or stuck in overthinking, all you need to focus on is this — make the work, share the work. this is the equivalent of (in meditation), returning to the body, and the breath. I’ll explore my 4 guiding principle
24. underworld business practices
the vast majority of business advice has never worked for me, not because it was wrong, but because it didn't align with my energy, and the way I wanted to exist in the world. it took me years to build my own operating system -- a model for business that didn't make me want to burn it all down, ghost everything, and just get a day job. I realized that I run my business like a super scorpio
23. i am an artist in the wild
who gives us the right to call ourselves "artists"? where do you source your sense of legitimacy and validity from? how do you face the voices of imposter syndrome and not-enoughness? in this episode, we'll unpack the gap between self-perception, other-perception, and the daily process/practice of being an artist. I'll share why claiming yourself as an artist in the wild -- beyon
22. spiraling into your changing center
one of the most significant shifts I've ever had is letting go of linear (ladder-like) models of external success -- in order to put my own journey, process, and energy at the center. but, how do you do that, if you don't know what's at your center, or if your center is always changing? I'll explore facets of this question through the metaphor of a labyrinth as journey -- how to da
21. doubt is my companion monster
I've had a very long, tumultuous relationship with self-doubt -- as my number one enemy, a villianous monster, a generous teacher, a loyal friend, and a companion for the twisty, dark paths of the creative life. today, I'll share my own relationship with doubt, and offer a reframe for what doubt is -- not as contamination, or poison, not as something to fight or run away from, but as a ess
20. clarity is a bird I follow home
there is a difference between wanting clarity, and wanting permission. or certainty. or safety. clarity isn't something external that I wait to happen to me (like good weather conditions), but a moving, fluid energy that I'm in conversation with -- like a bird. sometimes I see it. sometimes it's gone. I'll explore why clarity feels so crucial for the pathless path, how people see me as having a lo
19. autumn itinerary for the unknown
hello there, after a summer. this episode is on why being with the unknown is at the heart and core of all imaginative, wilderness work -- through your inner life, creative life, digital life, and business. today, I'll share my syllabus-itinerary for navigating uncertainty through the autumnal astrological archetypes of Libra, Scorpio, and Sagittarius -- aka, how to hold complex truths, walk t
18. digital silence as practice
this is about escaping the noise of platforms and constant connectivity. I reflect on why acclimating to digital silence can feel stark, lonely, and hard, at first. it's like how the body feels on "airplane mode," or when when waking up in a forest after a decade in a cramped city apartment. in this episode, I explore how and why platforms (by design) turn us into static noise. I sha
17. transcendence of a productivity addict
I spent many years needing to feel “productive” everyday — a word that was programmed into me, and which I clung to — but which felt wholly insufficient in trying to measure creative work, especially when self-employed. in this episode, I’ll tell you my journey — from being a productivity addict, to rejecting all imposed structures, to slowly, over time, reimagining what a sustainable, regenerativ
16. digital presence is a place
hello again, after a few months break. during my retreat, I thought a lot about what being "present" online means. I'll propose that digital presence isn't dependent on your labor or content production, but about cultivating a digital container that holds your energy. I'll explore:choosing inner rhythms over consistency pressurefreedom from treating yourself as a means of pro
15. no fear of being seen
on untangling the fear of being seen -- and understanding where the desire to hide (in your creative work, life, or your digital expressions) comes from, and exploring how to release it. we'll dive into: the practice of un-hiding yourselfthe tension of being different being present is more important than being public deliberately curating your safe zones facing your imaginary shadow gaze why m
14. making a home on the internet
inhabiting a home on the internet is really about making space to be yourself, in public. you resist the digital flattening of the self and, instead, grow a wild ecosystem. how? first, through committing to your creative practice. in this episode, we’ll explore: what it means to inhabit a space my three step, cyclical processes for growing a digital home -- create, curate, carve paths. why focus o
13. the anatomy of a digital world
this week, I’ll deconstruct and translate the concept of website as digital world into concrete design elements, and give you a poetic reframing of how to think about each piece of your website under the philosophy of world-building — we’ll explore:
the website as a body to inhabit
the atmosphere of a world — vision / brand / world logic
places & destinations — homepage & subpages
12. your website is not a brochure
why your website doesn’t have to be a brochure that compartmentalizes your infinite self — into three glossy pages. I’ll put these two frameworks side by side: “website as brochure” vs. “website as a digital garden-home-world”, and explore: why we feel pressured to turn ourselves into brochures the ethos and intention to sell / show / prove / substantiate — versus the intention to exist, inhabit,
11. the joy of missing out on platforms
this episode is about my approach to cultivating a creative and business life outside of all social/content platforms (including Substack and Youtube) -- and feeling excited about it. this is not a critique of platforms so much as a portrait of alternative possibilities: we’ll explore: why platforms are like cruise boats - seemingly “easy” and “effortless” by promising all the amenities you’d ever
10. sharing your work as creative release
on a radically different way to relate to sharing your work on the internet — how to see sharing as a part of the creative process, not separate from it. I’ll explore the shifts in perspective that unlocked the act of showing up as myself, in public. we’ll explore:emotional resistance to sharing your work — swimming through feelings of overwhelm, creative stuckness, and guilt. sharing as being in
09. the internet as a creative practice
this week’s episode is about inhabiting yourself on the internet — by relating to it as a public vessel for your ongoing creative self. I’ll explore: the opposite of internet as creative practice -- the internet as performance, as a strategy game, and as obligation seeing the internet as a genre-defying infinity canvas for your creative expressions how being in public is about allowing yourself to
08. make art for no audience
this episode is all about deconstructing and letting go of the pressure to “build an audience.” I’ll disentangle the practice of being an artist — from the byproduct of having an audience — and share how finding freedom from that pressure creates a well of personal power (and paradoxically, will magnetize your audience). we'll explore:
three sources of pressure: (1) artist recognition as leg
07. the process is the way
this is my guiding principle 101: my devotion to process. I’ll unpack why I believe that process is the magic key to anything you want to create— in art, business, money, and the self. I explore:
how our product / outcome / results obsessed culture disempowers and suffocates
art, business, money, and the self — from the perspective of process vs. product-based thinking
how embracing your pr
06. at home in the world as my artist self
this is my last chapter of sharing my wayfinding journey (for now) — in which I share how I stopped traveling, decided to make a home in Istanbul, and slowly learned to show up as my artist self — in relationship, and in the world. I’ll untangle:
why I clung onto hermitude, and resisted being in relationship (with any "other")
what I had to let go of: emotional storms + binary t
05. the wandering way of the artist hermit
this episode is about leaping into the void. then, living in the leaps. I share my story of leaving NYC, slow traveling the world during a pandemic, and the treasures I found, deep within my artist-hermit self.
from being suffocated by pressure — to creating from presence
embracing a life without plans, goals, or expectations
a digital detox to silence the noise in my head
why make art e
04. how do I survive as a creative and not hate myself?
this week's chapter on my wayfinding journey is about my years of the creative hustle, in which I tortured myself with the question: “how do I survive as a creative, and not hate myself?"
I’ll explore:
my personal distillations of the prescribed / trailmarked paths of success — for writers, visual artists, and business owners
how I thought something was wrong with me for not climbin
03. this is a one way road
A very personal account of the extreme feelings that lead me to quit my full time / part time jobs, and commit to working for myself.
This is a continuation of my series on wayfinding (my series of jumps into the void), featuring Jump #2: from aspiring writer with a 9-5 job — to deciding to become an entrepreneur.
I’ll explore these topics:
the ever-present feeling of wasting my life
life as
02. throwing away the iron rice bowl
the "Iron Rice Bowl" is a Chinese metaphor for job security and stability (aka, what we, as artists and entrepreneurs, didn’t exactly choose.)
this is a beginning of a series about wayfinding, in which I’ll share the phases of my own decade long journey, from (almost) the very beginning.
I’m unveiling the ghosts of my head, and untangling a few themes:
inherited cultural blueprints
01. hello friend, welcome
an introduction; an opening of themes and unspooling of threads:
🌱 botanical -- plant life as a metaphor for creation
🪁 studies -- a way of curiosity, growth, and discovery
🏕 internet -- a space to inhabit, build, and be
🪼 magic -- the power of energetics and creativity
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