How To Destroy Everything
This is the true story of Richard Jacobs – a narcissist who destroyed a childhood, a marriage, a family, and a community. He sued every sentient being on the face of the earth, got banned from restaurants, and inspired a support group composed solely of people he traumatized. He stole notary stamps, hacked emails, forged signatures… and won a U.S. Supreme Court case. He was also my dad. Join us each week as hosts Danny Jacobs and Darren Grodsky shift between past and present to explore the lasting impact of Richard Jacobs.
Episodes
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - The Interview with Lisa and Sheila (Bonus Episode)
In this special bonus episode, we hear Toughen Up from the shared perspective of Stephen’s sisters, Lisa and Sheila. Hear how they navigated a childhood of fear, loss and abandonment, and more importantly, where they are today.
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How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 10: Assisted So-Called Living, Something's Gotta Get Ya and The Punchline
In the season finale, unable to carry on alone, Eugene finally surrenders and moves into an Assisted Living facility. He’s not there long before he is hospitalized and enters into a steep decline. Before he passes away, Stephen’s father finds his version of peace with “All we’ve been through as a family…”
Danny and Darren then agree that Toughen Up is ultimately a story of forgiveness, with St
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 9: Crushing Blossoms and The Burden
It’s 15 years later and Eugene’s wife Helen dies very suddenly, leaving him very much adrift. At the urging of a priest, Stephen’s father learns to ask for help at the gravesite, then pushes on alone.
In our interview, Danny and Darren learn how Stephen struggled, self-medicated and began to heal his past in the years since his mother’s passing.
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How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 8: Albertsons, Aspirin and Telling the Truth
With Stephen off to college, his mother strikes out on her own, renting a room in a house and scoring her dream job. Not long after, however, Maureen is diagnosed with terminal cancer and eventually makes peace with Eugene and her past. After her ashes are scattered at sea, she delivers a message to Stephen in a dream.
Then, Darren looks back on Maureen’s life and wonders if she truly found pe
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 7: Driving School, Dad's Big Surprise and Blowing the Hatch
In this seventh chapter, we find a mid-life Maureen facing her fears and calling upon her brother, Jimmy, to finally teach her how to drive. Then, Eugene shocks the family with a surprise marriage announcement. After Sheila leaves the nest for college, Stephen is left at home with his mother, doing his best to fill the role of "Man of the House."
Then Danny relates to the role reversal that took
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 6: Mom Hustle and The Girl Upstairs
In this chapter of our story, we find Maureen is officially back on her feet, though struggling to make ends meet for her and the kids. After a variety of jobs, she ends up working in a factory and takes in some of her fellow employees as roommates to pay the rent. Stephen is displaced when a particularly provocative boarder rents his room, upending a family already desperately in need of stabilit
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 5: Homeless and The Edges of Town
We now find Lisa, Sheila and Stephen taking refuge with their Uncle John in Washington State, where young Stephen learns some hard life lessons on a construction site. They return to Mission Viejo, just in time to lose whatever housing Maureen had established, as she enters psychiatric treatment. Sheila and Stephen are taken in by a compassionate family, until Maureen is ready to start over, movin
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 4: The Road to 333
After losing their suburban home, Maureen moves with Stephen and Sheila into a Travelodge, only to dispatch her children on an epic road trip with their fugitive sister Lisa. Heading north, the three siblings experience a shared moment of grace on a rainy night, outside of a Canadian liquor store.
Then Danny and Darren push in on the fear and loneliness of the children being left to fend for the
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 3: Wes, Skatebarn, The Big Split and Frank
Wherein young Stephen seeks refuge from his own family at a house “down the street.” His father then reveals a side of himself that no one could have imagined, just before the marriage finally falls apart. Gene moves away while Maureen makes a new “friend.” Then, hear why the boys call this “The Darren Episode” and define the true meaning of an oasis. Then, Danny and Darren explore the hidden mean
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 2: Buses, Nuns, Christmas, Knives and a No-Name Sister
Episode Two finds Maureen taking on The Reverend Mother of her children’s Catholic School. The family then experiences the darkest Christmas of their lives, propelling them south, to face an uncertain future in an empty house in the suburbs. A violent period unfolds for The Kearins, which includes a hammer, a hospital and a runaway girl.
Then Danny and Darren explain why they called this “The Ca
How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up - Episode 1: Mom, Dad and the Fighting
In our first episode, we meet Stephen’s tough girl Jersey mother and his post war(s) farm boy father, as they attempt to raise him, his two sisters, and themselves in a tiny apartment in Van Nuys, California. Then, Danny and Darren start exploring what’s behind his parents' pain, what happens to feelings frozen in time, and where is the Grace in all of this madness?
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Interregnum: How to Destroy a Live Show
Wherein Danny and Darren confront their audience live for the very first time. Danny discusses his complicated feelings about St. Louis, and surprise guests abound. Recorded at famed St. Louis merch shop, Stl-Style, Danny and Darren search for some meaning and share final thoughts from the journey they've just completed.
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Trailer: How To Destroy Everything Presents: Toughen Up
In the spirit of familial destruction, How To Destroy Everything is proud to present, Toughen Up, written and performed by Stephen Kearin. Toughen Up is the story of an American family turned upside down, spilling out every last skeleton in its closet. Join us for a darkly comic traumatic memoir...a Traumoir, if you will.
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Episode 16: How to Create Something New
Wherein Danny returns, at last, to the scene of the crime(s). Danny (alongside Darren and Sandy) go back to his childhood home, The Royal Manor, and Danny confronts his past head-on. In this, the season one finale of How to Destroy Everything, old feelings will burst to the surface, the ghosts of the past will be reckoned with, and the future will become all the more clear.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy the Calm Before the Storm
Wherein Danny and Darren check in one last time with Sandy and talk about the entirety of her podcast journey. In doing so, they discover the incredible strides that Sandy has made in her own personal evolution. Additonally, Danny and Darren bring on Danny's wife, Katie, to discuss her perspective on how the podcast has changed her husband. And finally, our intrepid hosts make a big announcement a
Episode 15: How to Destroy Richard Jacobs
Wherein Danny and Darren finally track down their white whale: a member of the support group founded to bring together people who had been sued and harrassed by Richard Jacobs. But as Danny and Darren get into the details of said group, so much more is revealed than they ever imagined possible -- about the group, yes, but also about Danny and where he goes from here...
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Interregnum: How to Destroy Death
Wherein Danny and Darren watch the "death video" Richard made for Danny back in the 1980s. Also, the boys discuss Richard's view of death and his conception of the "afterlife" with Danny's brother. It's the death episode!
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If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/HowToDestro
Episode 14: How to Destroy a Brotherhood Part 2
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down once more with Danny's brother and delve deeper into understanding each other's perspectives. Danny's brother brings a unique point of view - one of understanding for Richard and even empathy for him, compelling Danny to reevaluate some of the conclusions he's drawn about his father.
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Episode 13: How to Destroy a Brotherhood
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down with Danny's brother and discuss how they survived their childhood as the sons of Richard Jacobs, how their perspectives differ, and whether or not Richard can be fairly compared to a shark.
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If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/HowToDe
Interregnum: How to Destroy a Dating Profile
Wherein Danny and Darren dive deeper into Beth's relationship with Richard, which includes a shocking revelation that Danny's dad had been operating dating profiles on his sons' behalf. Additionally, Sandy discusses her dating life beyond Richard, and Darren checks in with Danny about his anger.
For tickets to Danny's improv show at the Groundlings, head to www.groundlings.com/shows/theunderstud
Episode 12: How to Destroy a Daughter-in-Law
Wherein Danny and Darren bring the podcast full circle by exploring the moment that started it all from a different persepective: Danny's wife. As she illuminates her side of the disaster that led to the termination of Danny's relationship with his dad, our intrepid hosts then speak to the other wife, that of Danny's brother. How does a narcissist affect his kids when they grow up, get married, an
Interregnum: How to Destroy an Irish Rabbi
Wherein Danny and Darren interview Stephen Kearin, a mentor to Danny over the last several decades (and Danny's self-described "Irish Rabbi"). Stephen shares his own incredible family story and the boys try to glean some lessons that Danny can apply to his own relationship with Richard.
For tickets to Danny's improv show at the Groundlings on Thursday, March 6th at 10 PM, head here: https://grou
Episode 11: How to Destroy Australia
Wherein Danny and Darren explore the newfound freedom Danny felt as a young adult out from under his father's thumb for the first time in his life. But then, Danny gets pulled back into his father's chaos when he agrees to go on a (mostly) paid vacation to Australia. Terrible doesn't do the trip justice. It was so traumatizing that it sends Danny into a mental health spiral as he finds himself aba
Interregnum: How to Destroy an Almost Mensch
Wherein Danny and Darren tread into the ridiculous and terrifying world of Richard's dating life, which weirdly took Danny and his brother across the country. Then, the guys bring on Sandy to talk about the "fog of war" - or how she survived the onslaught of litigation brought by Richard after their divorce.
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Episode 10: How to Destroy a Childhood
Wherein Danny and Darren explore the second half of Danny's childhood, which included awkward trips to the ice cream shop and a burgeoning desire to perform as a way of covering up his shame. Additionally, they'll investigate Sandy's side of post-divorce life as they finally solve the mystery of how she was able to afford a decade's worth of lawsuits without going bankrupt.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy a Name
Wherein Danny and Darren dive into a treasure trove of old films and videos that Richard had made over the years, interview the actor who plays Richard about what it's like to play such an outsized character, and speak with Sandy about the ways this podcast have helped her reclaim her story.
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Episode 9: How to Destroy a Divorce Part 2
Wherein Danny and Darren go into the courtroom during Richard and Sandy's trial and they are able to hear, in Richard and Sandy's own words, the diametrically opposed perspectives of Danny's parents. In doing so, Danny confronts one of the most seminal moments of his childhood that has haunted him for decades.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy a Therapy Session
Wherein Danny and Darren sit down for a chat with a licensed psychologist to get his take on all things Richard Jacobs. In a wide-ranging conversation, they are finally able to get some answers to many of their questions about what exactly may have been going on inside Richard's mind.
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Episode 8: How to Destroy a Divorce Part 1
Wherein Danny and Darren take listeners into a new chapter in Richard's life, a chapter in which he begins to focus his rage on his ex-wife. Sandy recounts the times Richard broke into her apartment, destroyed her dream job, and filled Danny's every day elementary-school existence with dread.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy an HOA
Wherein Danny and Darren tell the traumatizing conclusion to Danny's epic battle with the evil construction company wreaking havoc on his home. Additionally, our intrepid hosts delve deeper into their interview with Barbara (the woman who spent nine years in court trying to take Richard down), and Sandy gives an update on her thereupeutic journey.
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Episode 7: How to Destroy a Career Part 2
Wherein Danny and Darren tackle the second half of Richard Jacobs' "career". With his reputation in tatters, Richard attempts to regain his law license and aims his considerable talents (and relentlessness) at members of the St. Louis community, representing himself in a reign of terror and leaving trauma in his wake.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy a Nose Job
Wherein Danny and Darren go deeper into the mind (& world) of phone phreak 'Captain Crunch' in an attempt to understand Richard's love affair with technology. We'll also revisit one of the seminal stories we learned about Richard in an earlier episode and discover that it may not be true after all!
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Episode 6: How to Destroy a Career Part 1
Wherein Danny and Darren dive into the absolutely bananas career of Richard Jacobs, from all its promise to its absolute peril. This episode covers multiple arrests and criminal charges, getting fired from the SEC for accessing a classified database, and winning a United States Supreme Court case. And this is only part 1!
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Interregnum: How to Destroy a Family Text Chain
Wherein Danny and Darren discuss the fallout in Danny's family that has resulted from this podcast. We'll also check in with Sandy about the emotional impact this all has been having on her. Listen to HTDE on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.com/HowToDestroyEverything.
This episode is sp
Episode 5: How to Destroy a Marriage
Wherein Danny and Darren try to answer a seminal question: How was it remotely possible that Danny's mom could have stayed with his dad for thirteen years? And how did she finally leave him? This episode takes a winding journey -- from Chicago to D.C. to St. Louis -- and ultimately to a better understanding of the marriage of Richard and Sandy Jacobs.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy Generational Trauma
Wherein Danny and Darren bring in Sandy to discuss the fallout of the intense revelations of the previous episode. Danny also recounts a recent experience that made him completely rethink the ways that he may or may not be like his father.
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If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patre
Episode 4: How to Destroy a Courtship
Wherein Danny and Darren try to answer an enduring question: what kind of woman would marry someone like Richard Jacobs? In search of some explanation - any explanation - they go all the way back to Sandy's childhood. And along the way, they discover some truly shocking developments that change Danny's perception of who his Dad really was.
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Interregnum: How to Destroy an Audience
Wherein Danny and Darren finally explain why it took them so freakin' long to get this season ready while checking in with Danny's mom about the podcast's emotional toll. We'll also play some extended interviews from The Royal Manor.
Listen to HTDE on Apple, Spotify or wherever you get your podcasts.
If you would like to support this podcast, please consider becoming a patron at www.patreon.co
Episode 3: How to Destroy a Home Part 2
Wherein Darren returns to the "scene of the crimes", The Royal Manor, and discovers way more than he could have possibly imagined. In the dark recesses of Danny's childhood attic, long held secrets are revealed, and Danny is forced to confront a childhood he hoped would stay in the shadows.
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Trailer: The Rest of the Season
"WE'RE BACK!" After an unreasonably long hiatus to actually -- you know -- figure out how to make a podcast, Danny and Darren announce the rest of the season of "How To Destroy Everything," along with a trailer for the show detailing the levels of destruction that audiences can expect. New episodes weekly, starting 9/17!
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Episode 2: How To Destroy A Home Part 1
Danny & Darren explore the absurd, bizarre, and horrific aspects of the house Richard called home for more than 40 years. And in opening up his father’s secret compartments (both literal & figurative), Danny is confronted with whether he’s truly ready to face the ghosts that haunt him.
Instagram: @how_to_destroy_everything
Twitter / X: @HowToDestroyPod
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Trailer: How To Destroy Everything
This is the true story of a narcissist who destroyed a childhood, a marriage, a family, and a community. You know, a comedy.
How To Destroy Everything is a narrative docu-dramdey that breaks the forms of any other podcast you've listened to. It will trigger all your emotions and leave you dying to know more.
Instagram: @how_to_destroy_everything
Twitter / X: @HowToDestroyPod
Support us here
Pilot Episode: Meet Richard Jacobs
The first episode of a wild journey into the world of a narcissist. Meet Richard Jacobs through the eyes of his son and his son's childhood bestie, who follow the clues and put together the pieces of Richard's destructive life. You know, a comedy.
Instagram: @how_to_destroy_everything
Twitter / X: @HowToDestroyPod
Support us here: https://www.patreon.com/HowToDestroyEverything/about
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