Keep Me Young
A weekly podcast that unites listeners through the shared fear of missing cultural references. Hosts Blake Jennings and Heather Jones discuss pop culture, video games, entertainment, and other topics to keep each other culturally relevant. New episodes drop every Monday.
Episodes
The Monkey's Paw of Being a Pop Girl
And sometimes Fridays! And sometimes UNDER an hour! Can you even believe? This week we are aging aka our brains are literally decaying and atrophying because of a Splatoon brain rot voiceover. And our hearts are both growing 3 sizes like the grinch and also withering away because of the malevolent use of “When Somebody Loved Me” all over Toy Story 5. They’ve got us so bad, we don’t even need to he
The Fake Concern of Ariana Grande's "Fans"
And sometimes Thursdays! And sometimes UNDER an hour! Can you even believe? This week we are aging aka our brains are literally decaying and atrophying because of a Splatoon brain rot voiceover. And our hearts are both growing 3 sizes like the grinch and also withering away because of the malevolent use of “When Somebody Loved Me” all over Toy Story 5. They’ve got us so bad, we don’t even need to
A Drag Queen's Big Brother Betrayal
Ding dooong, two chronically online millennials calling! The world continues to be our oyster and yes, you SHOULD interpret that as yonic imagery. This week we dive into TV and film faves of today and yesterday, and, ultimately, we discover the spectrum of feral Drag Race fandom to tenderqueer Steven Universe simps. Oprah’s name was Orpah? Will a drag queen get dragged in the Big Brother edit? We
The Odyssey is the LOUDEST (and Best) Movie EVER
AND SOMETIMES WE POST ON THURSDAYS. We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: time is a construct. We are ~*$~artists*$~~ and we can’t be expected to do the same thing more than one week in a row.
Hi besties! Join us on an odd-dussy this week through way too many topics for how many minutes this episode is. Heather’s staying young on the sidelines of Black Instagram watching the “bouncy church
"The Scariest Movie of the Year" and Why It Sucks
Pride month is every month and this week Heather is staying young with THREE bits of queer news: Lady G’s comment section haters, Layla from Mormon Wives dating a lady, and a new women’s pro baseball league! **Apologies to the WMLB team that got forgotten: San Francisco Firebells! Blake is staying young from a secret work trip to LA like a real ~influencer~ and we’re both on the edge of our seats
Taylor Swift, Bangladesh, and Captain America's Bulge
The thing about setting a low bar is that when you get two episodes in a row, it feels like Christmas!! Under promise, over deliver, baybeeee xoxoxoThis week we obv had to reflect on our respective family/extended family wedding experiences over the weekend, including but not limited to impromptu line dances, fake-out flash mobs, having the sound guy in your back pocket, crying, AND not crying. Po
Leave Ariana Grande Alone! Clown on Tyra Instead!
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
(https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/)
(https://www.instagram.com/niconeeek/)
(https://www.instagram.com/sydneypatrick_/)
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Gamers and Misogyny: A Predictable Pair
HAPPY PRIDE, DIVAS! Our only question this week is: Why are you gay? https://open.spotify.com/track/5Yof9eDjqqnpu6Lv42TmxR?si=5bd5955d330f429aMay and June are the time for EVENTS and PARTIES and APPEARANCES, so we’re gonna do our best to be in your ears every week but if we aren’t, it’s because time is a construct and not because we don’t love you. This week Keke Palmer and Sean Evans aka KeSean a
Is Watching P*rn Cheating? | A Millennial Analysis
We’re baaaaack, did you miss us? We’re not like other girls, because we take normal weeks off and then post on federal holidays. AS IS OUR RIGHT. Rest is anti capitalist and we are nothing if not social justice warriors.
This week we *try* to keep it short and sweet, but naturally we get going on our Topics and Opinions and it’s basically a full length ep. Heather is staying young because of one
James Charles and Hantavirus: The Two Villains of the Week
Hi besties! Welcome to a nighttime episode where your favorite hosts are in an insomnia induced FLOW STATE. A bunch of Gay Guys are keeping us young this week. Firstly, Jake Shane’s feral interview skills, and secondly, Heather’s parasocial relationship of two gay guys on the internet Gus Heagerty and Dan Pelosi. We all deserve a love like that!!!
Actually so many things are keeping us young this
The Devil Wears Prada 2 Fixed Us (Mostly)
Y’all we were in some kind of silly goofy mood this week, so buckle up for a LOT of detours and tangents on a podcast that’s already built on detours and tangents.
This week Blake is staying young because of Devil 2. We collectively are staying young because it is a renaissance for the MOVIES this summer. We heart CINEMA and having a Communal Movie Going Experience. And the choir said “Heartbreak
The Correspondents' Dinner Shooting Is About to Spawn the Worst Takes You’ve Ever Seen
Surprise we’re back! Keeping you on your toes here at KMY and we’re back from spring break aka Blake’s family vacation to Florida where against all odds he got sick. But he also had a birthday! HBD king, way to stay on theme with the pod by aging another year!
This week our president’s inevitably horrible takes after the White House Correspondents Dinner is aging us. And that’s all we’re gonna sa
Friends, Karaoke, and the Rapid Decline of Trump
Stop EVERYTHING and tell us right now if you’re older than 25 and had to sign up for the draft as an 18 year old. Hello??? Did everyone except Heather know about this? Thanks to Queen Donna for her second cameo to clarify Blake’s near military service and our condolences to the newest draftees and let’s all meditate on the implications of compulsory military service for one half of the population
Boob: The Kristi Noem Story
Two horrible politicians stand before me. But there’s only one photo in my hands. And this photo represents the girl that is still in the running towards becoming America’s Worst Trump Defender. I’ll only call one name and the girl that I do not call must immediately return to the house and pack your bags. Wait, PLOT TWIST both Pam Bondi and Kristi Noem were eliminated! Welcome back to Keep Me You
AI Fruit Love Island and it's Glorious Downfall
A new bombshell has entered the villa! And he’s a banana with abs!
If you’re counting, this is, in fact, week THREE of discussing our favorite adult high school freshmen, the Mormon wives, but 4 seasons of the show simply wasn’t enough so we’re injecting their personal lives (IG reels) directly into our veins. It’s working! Blake shines a light on a corner of the internet that Heather never want
The (Predictable) Downfall of the Mormon Wives
WILL MOMTOK SURVIVE THIS???Trust that if we could make an entire podcast just about our real life actual blood relatives, the Mormon wives, we WOULD. But for now, that content lives here. Blake and Heather are both aging rapidly because of the many scandals following those poor girls (adult women) on that show about filler and hair extensions. We’re staying young by trying new things and feeling l
The Oscars, Peanut VTubers, and How They're Both Exhausting
A very happy Oscars week to all who celebrate! Do we actually celebrate? Do we actually know how to talk about film? Unclear! But we each know at least one person who has AMC Stubs memberships, so that’s something.This week Blake and Heather are staying young with supplements, first and foremost. But also by watching prestige television aka the best in the botoxed biz aka our favorite Mormon Wives
Two Opera Singers Discuss Timothée Chalamet
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Katseye and Hockey: The Week of Dissapointment
Is that actual hope on the horizon, or has it just stopped snowing? Who’s to say! Either way the world is on fire and we’re happy you’re watching it burn with us.Blake educates the children (Heather) on the latest K Pop drama and Heather educates the sheeple (Blake) on the *reads notes* Jim Carey conspiracy theories?? We’re both staying young because of our lord and savior Chris Fleming’s new stan
National Treasure Alysa Liu and MAGAs Desperate Attempt to Claim Her
U-S-A! U-S-A! That’s how you spell Alysa Liu, right? We’re smitten with all of our gold medal woke 3.0 girlies this week and truly have never been such experts of ice related sports. And maybe never will be again! Everyone is staying young because of the hope injected in our veins in the form of winter olympic sports. And yet, we’re also aging because of 1. How they’re really NOT like us, fr and 2
Episode 25 - The Olympics, The Super Bowl, and The Worst Musician We've Ever Heard
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 24 - Melania: The Flop Heard 'Round The World
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 23 - How The Grammys Made Us Feel Old | Keep Me Young (ft. Kyle Ridley!)
Spotify: (https://open.spotify.com/show/5T1lFECguCHnfbzyokEWTM?si=JLozFQEVRnC0HXPjHMHPSA)
Apple Podcasts: (https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/keep-me-young/id1835442547)
Instagram for Q&A/Depression Meals: (https://www.instagram.com/keepmeyoungpod/)
Theme Song: “Old” written and performed by pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
(https://www.instagram.com/popkisstheband/)
(https://w
Episode 22 - AI Bubbles, ICE, Stranger Things, and the Phantom of the Opera
Hey y’aaalllll. How we doin? Fearing for American civil war? Cool, us too! Wanna take an hour away from the dread and gab with your parasocial pals? Okay, come on in. This week we almost immediately devolve into a tangent about fast food because we are nothing if not connoisseurs of fried brown things. Did you know people are donating blood to get rid of microplastics? Good luck to the recipients.
Episode 21 - The Heated Rivalry Fandom Has Officially Lost It
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 20 - The Streamer that's Hilariously Terrorizing JD Vance
Happy Heather’s Birthday Week to all who celebrate! And ALL of you should be celebrating 🔫🔫🔫This week we start with a bang trying to answer life’s big questions: Are blowjobs as life changing as the gay hockey boys make them look? Are flawed characters important in TV and film even if they make us feel bad and weird? Should you talk to your friends about sex and show them your privates for science
Episode 19 - Finally Discussing the Gay Hockey Show
Welcome to 2026, old! Whether we like it or not, time marches on and we’ve entered another year of Bill Gates’s internet’s analog alternate reality, also known as reality. We hope you’re hydrated and ready for more rants and hot takes and Glee references!
This week, Blake is (r)age-baited by The People’s Reaction to Chappell Roan and Heather refuses to be okay with the low bar of entertainment th
Episode 18 - The Holiday/Nicki Minaj Rant Special!
Y’all coming on the cousin walk? In this very special holiday episode, Blake and Heather are bringing the pagan/Christmas/Hanukkah/solstice cheer. Feel free to throw us on the living room speakers to get your family to stop asking you when you’re having kids/buying a house/contributing to your 401k! Or (more likely) go outside for a menty health walk to get away from said family and hang with us i
Episode 17 - The Game Awards Rocked and Everyone's Lame Now
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 16 - Spotify Wrapped and Sabrina Carpenter's Clapback
What do astrology and Spotify wrapped have in common? Organizing people into groups with fun graphics, mystical and mysterious meanings that are maybe fake, and gay people love to yap about them! Stop gatekeeping and tell us what you’re listening to!
This week Heather and Blake persevere through the fog of being sleepyheads to chat about their favorite music of 2025, according to a subscription
Episode 15 - All Our Problems Lead To Wicked
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 14 - Vine is Back and So are We
Submit your Depression Meals and Q&A with Queer and Gay questions to keepmeyoungpod@gmail.com or @keepmeyoungpod.
Our theme song “Old” is written and performed by the band pop kiss, fronted by Nicole and Sydney Patrick
@popkisstheband
@niconeeek
@sydneypatrick_
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Episode 13 - Woke Is Back For Everyone But The Sims
WOKE IS BACK Y’ALL and our pronouns are zoh/ran. Congratulations to NYC for inspiring a nation and having the hottest mayor and first lady we’ve ever seen.
This week Blake and Heather are basically UN ambassadors, discussing the democrats’ many wins, China’s social media laws, and the ~implications~ of a Saudi Arabian company acquiring EA and The Sims. Go off, poly sci kings! We’re not all brain
Episode 11 - TikTok's Fear of Lana Del Rey's Boob
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Episode 12 - The Entitlement of the TikTok "Influencer"
Welcome back and welcome home to Blake’s last minute Clearwater Home2 Suite by Hilton and Heather’s temporary LA home by a Facebook queer housing group. We’re doing great!
These days, Heather and Blake are both staying young by (checks notes) giving themselves basic care by eating and listening to music and calling friends? Not original, but Maslow would be proud. Blake is aging hard for the poo
Episode 10 - The "Cats" Lady's New Album
Something has changed within us, and we’re feeling, dare I say…giddy? Happy to be alive? Maybe it’s the crispy fall air, but in this week’s episode, Blake and Heather giggle their way through the public backlash of Tay Tay’s Life of a Showgirl (more like Life of a Toddler in a Tiara, amirite). And how, in the famous words of Mother God Chris Fleming: Taylor Swift is the “spokesperson for those who
Episode 9 - Pokemon Smash or Pass!
Welcome to the very special episode EVERYONE (no one) was CLAMORING for (literally no one asked)!!! This week Blake and Heather entertain you, dear listeners, with something a little different: a Pokemon Smash or Pass. Heather doesn’t know the rules or the Pokemon or really why this game exists at all, while Blake brings years of experience and insight. They both take the game way too seriously an
Episode 8 - World of Warcraft's World of War Crimes
Buckle up for a lengthy and academic discussion of the least important topics you can think of this week! As if that’s not the vibe every week! Blake and Heather are staying young with Ultimatum: Queer Love, Season 2 and Asmongold’s influence over the World of Warcraft community. Take one guess as to whose is whose!
Love Island, The Bachelor, Temptation Island, and Love is Blind are all rotting o
Episode 7 - WHO'S THAT POKÉMON? IT'S FASCISM!!!
Well, it’s been a week. And Blake and Heather are officially bi for each other. Bi-coastal, baby!! Viewers will get to see Blake’s NYC and TX bedroom backgrounds in this ep and listeners will not notice a difference at all!
Blake is staying young in the aftermath of the Ch*rlie K*rk/Tr*mp/Jimmy Kimmel/Disney will-they-won’t-they chess game. It really does go all the way to the top. And Heather is
Episode 6 - Our Right Wing Grift Begins
CW: eating disorders, barfing
Happy solstice, old! Like and subscribe for our foolproof, 5-step program to become a right wing grifter! Side effects may include botched plastic surgery and disintegration of all dignity.
This week, Blake is staying young with Schadenfreude following the Trump and Elon break up, but the politics of girlhood are both aging and impressing him. Heather felt very old
Episode 5 - The Children are Microdosing Gambling Addictions
Welcome back to the Labu Box! No scorpions here, just Blake being an edge lord and defending billionaires (again), Heather talking about their broken body and hot specialist doctors (again) and both hosts reliving their opera camp glory days like your dad talking about his favorite super bowl from 12 years ago.
This week, Tiny Chef is keeping Blake young and keeping all of us crying tender tea
Episode 4 - If Everyone Clenched, No One Could Poop
Everybody UNCLENCH because we’re back to our regularly scheduled…schedule of Monday episode drops. Welcome back! We missed you! Did you miss us? Say it back! 😡🔪
This week some Jackbox merch is keeping Blake young somehow, Heather is escaping NYC to find the fountain of youth, and Blake dissects the politics of Nintendo Switch 2 and pizza delivery. They also discuss tamagotchi sex positions, Me
Episode 3 - Benson Please Stop Booning
Well well well, if it isn’t the consequences of our choices to start a podcast without perfecting the technology first! See if you can hear how many hours Blake and Heather spent trying to remove the hum in Heather’s mic in this episode :)
This week, Heather’s gyno visit is keeping them young and mediocre Crumbl cookies are aging all of us. Blake and Heather discuss gen-Z gamer lighting design, o
Episode 2 - Blake's Cow D*ck
THIS JUST IN: Blake doesn’t care what pronouns you use, as long as you’re talking about him/her/them. Love wins.
This week Blake and Heather get into the usual what’s keeping us young and what’s aging them (spoiler: Blake has OPINIONS about lapel mics that aren’t on a lapel) plus botox, how many pills it takes to function in your 30s, the hotties of Ultimatum: Queer Love, Date Everything aka the
Episode 1 - The Opera Camp that Trauma Bonded Us
HEY Y’ALL and welcome to the very first episode of Keep Me Young, a podcast for anyone who has ever pretended to know about a meme/celebrity/band/video game console twitter fiasco in order to keep a conversation moving and seem like a Cool Girl™️.
In this episode, Blake and Heather revisit the fateful summer of 2015 when they first met at opera camp. Famously, Blake almost died swimming across
