Heart Work After Betrayal | Infidelity, Marriage, Forgiveness, Loneliness, Trust
Heart Work After Betrayal helps women heal their marriages after infidelity. The host, Julia Carlton, is a relationship recovery coach who shares her personal experience of discovering her husband's infidelity and finding healing. Each weekly episode offers biblically rooted truth and practical guidance for navigating betrayal and rebuilding trust. The podcast aims to support women who feel blindsided, lonely, or unsure of how to reconcile their marriages.
Episodes
57 | 5 Truths About Who You Are That Betrayal and Infidelity Cannot Touch And How to Finally Start Living From Them
Have you looked at yourself since the betrayal and barely recognized who you are anymore?
Does it feel like the person you used to be has gotten lost somewhere in the pain and confusion and survival mode?
Do you find yourself interpreting your husband cheating on you as evidence about who you are as if his choices somehow say something true about whether you are enough, whether you are lovable, wh
56 | Spiraling Thoughts After Betrayal or Infiidelity? One Simple Practice to Catch Them Before They Take Over
Does one frightening thought quickly turn into ten and leave you imagining the worst-case scenario?
Do spiraling thoughts after betrayal or infidelity make it difficult to sleep, eat, breathe deeply, or stay present?
Do you know you need to “take your thoughts captive,” but struggle to recognize the thought that started the spiral?
In this Monday Heart Check, I’m sharing one simple practice to hel
55 | Feeling Triggered or Hopeless After Betrayal? Here’s What to Do | Q&A With A Therapist, Part 2
Are you finding yourself feeling stuck trying to rebuild trust with your spouse and wondering why nothing seems to produce the lasting change you are longing for?
Do you find yourself so triggered in certain moments that you don’t even recognize yourself anymore and then feeling ashamed or guilty why you cannot hold it together or why you are not further along?
Are you stuck in your head, thoughts
54 | Ready to Feel Safe Again After Betrayal? How Listening to Your Body Can Finally Help You Rebuild Trust
Have you ever walked into a room with your husband and felt your whole body tighten, even before anything was said, even before anything happened?
Have you wondered why you cannot just decide to relax and trust?
Do you find yourself lying awake at night with your heart racing even when nothing has happened and maybe even feeling guilty about it like you are being unfair or not trusting God enough?
53 | Can You Ever Trust Again After Betrayal or Infidelity? Where Rebuilding Trust Really Begins | Q&A With A Therapist, Part 1
Have you been asking yourself whether you will ever be able to trust your husband again after the betrayal and wondering where you even begin to answer that question?
Have you been watching his every move, waiting for him to prove himself, tracking whether he follows through and secretly wondering why that approach is not bringing you the peace or the clarity you were hoping for?
Do you find yours
52 | Ready to Trust Yourself Again After Betrayal? How Saying Yes to What You Actually Want Starts Rebuilding Everything
Have you been so focused on watching what your husband does, whether he follows through, whether he is telling the truth, whether he is proving himself, that you have completely lost touch with what you actually want?
Have you become so organized around avoiding pain and protecting yourself from what might hurt you again that you have also stopped moving toward what is good and life-giving?
Do you
51 | Why Your Real Healing After Betrayal Won't Begin Until You Hit This One Turning Point
Have you been doing everything right, maybe you are praying, trying, working on the marriage, but you still feel stuck in a way you cannot fully explain?
Do you find yourself waiting for your husband to finally change, finally apologize the right way, or finally understand before you feel like you can begin to be okay?
Have you ever had a moment where what came out of you in the middle of the pain
50 | Why Reading Your Bible After Betrayal in Your Marriage Can Feel Empty And How This One Ancient Practice Changes Everything
Have you opened your Bible after a hard day after the betrayal in your marriage and read the words on the page and couldn’t even really comprehend them?
Do you feel guilty that Scripture does not seem to be landing the way it used to or you even wonder if something is spiritually wrong with you because you cannot seem to receive comfort from the words you know are true?
Are you longing for a way
49 | The Way Out of the Emotional Rollercoaster After Infidelity or Betrayal in Your Marriage And Why It Is Not Another Strategy
Do you find yourself replaying conversations with your husband trying to figure out what you could have said differently to finally get the response your heart was longing for?
Does his bad day become your bad day, his silence your panic, his healing your project and no matter how hard you try to stop this pattern it just keeps showing up?
Have you tried every strategy and every technique to get b
48 | Disappointed by Your Husband's Response? Here's What to Do Next as You Navigate Betrayal
Are you replaying conversations with your husband, wondering what you should have said differently?
Do you feel disappointed when his response leaves you feeling unseen, unheard, or misunderstood?
Are you exhausted from trying to find the "right" words, hoping they'll finally change his response?
After betrayal, one of the hardest moments isn't always the conversation itself but it mostly is what
47 | 5 Practical Ways to Rebuild Trust After Marriage Betrayal and Infidelity Without Letting Fear Hold You Back
Are you struggling with rebuilding trust after betrayal in your marriage?
Do you wish you felt confident again in your own voice?
Do you wonder how to reconnect with others again even if you feel like retreating or isolating because of the pain?
In this episode I am building on last Thursday's story of the four false beliefs and turning it toward you. Because the renewal of the mind is not the des
46 | Sick of Second Guessing Yourself After Betrayal? Try This One Simple Practice to Start Rebuilding Trust This Week
Have you been second guessing yourself constantly after the betrayal doubting what you feel, doubting what you sense, wondering whether your perception of reality can even be trusted anymore?
Do you find yourself dismissing your own instincts telling yourself you are being paranoid or oversensitive or dramatic even when something deep inside you knows what it knows?
Have you been waiting for one b
45 | Ready to Finally Stop Feeling Stuck In Healing From Marriage Betrayal? 4 Shifts I Made That Can Get You There
Have you been exhausted from trying to fix your marriage doing everything you can to hold it together and quietly wondering why nothing seems to be working no matter how hard you try?
Are you battling the shame of being another Christian couple with infidelity in the story telling yourself this was not supposed to be your testimony and desperately trying to fix it before anyone finds out how broke
44 | Do This Simple 2 Minute Practice Every Day So You Can Stop Losing Yourself and Start Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal
Have you become so focused on your husband after the betrayal that you've stopped paying attention to your own heart?
Do you spend more time monitoring everyone else's emotions than noticing your own?
What if one small daily practice could help you reconnect with yourself and with God?
After betrayal and/or infidelity, it's easy to believe your job is to keep being on the alert. Watching for warni
43 | Healed From Betrayal & Infidelity: What 25 Years of Marriage and Rebuilding Trust Actually Taught Me
Do you wonder if healing from infidelity and betrayal is even possible, or if your marriage is just going to survive instead of thrive?
Are you still wrestling with whether staying or leaving was the right decision, even years after the betrayal happened?
Do you find yourself waiting to celebrate any progress in your marriage until trust feels completely rebuilt?
In this episode, I'm
42 | Forgiveness After Marriage Betrayal Is Not What You Think It Is | Continuing Q&A With A Therapist, Part 2
Have you been trying to forgive your husband after betrayal and wondering why it never seems to stick, maybe you say the words and mean them in the moment but the anger and the hurt keep coming back?
Do you feel confused about what forgiveness actually means? Whether it means reconciling, whether it means pretending it did not happen, whether it means you have to trust him again before you are rea
41 | Why the Gap Between What You Know and What You Feel About Forgiveness After Betrayal Is Actually Holy Ground And How Honesty Before God Changes Everything
Does your head tell you that you should forgive because you know that is what God wants while your heart is still carrying anger, fear, and hurt that just will not go away no matter how hard you try?
Do you feel guilty for the gap between what you know theologically and where you actually are emotionally like a bad Christian because your feelings have not caught up with your faith yet?
Have you be
40 | 7 Truths About Grief After Betrayal And What Can Get in the Way | Q&A With a Therapist, Part 1
Have you been wondering if you are grieving the wrong way or not grieving enough, or too much, or in the wrong order and quietly judging yourself for how messy and unpredictable your healing has felt?
Do you find yourself reaching for busyness, distraction, or anything that keeps the grief at a safe distance and then wondering why you still feel so stuck months or even years later?
Have
39 | Why Staying Busy After Marriage Betrayal Is Actually Keeping You Stuck, The Number One Thing I Did Instead
Are you sick of being ambushed by your emotions, triggered out of nowhere, overwhelmed in the middle of an ordinary moment, and wondering why you still cannot seem to get ahead of the grief?
Have you been staying so busy, so distracted, so focused on everyone else that you have barely had a moment to sit alone with what you are actually feeling after the betrayal?
Have you ever considered that wha
38 | What Grieving the Loss After Marriage Betrayal Looked Like For Me | The Real Way I Healed And You Can Too
Have you been wondering what grieving well after betrayal actually looks like in real life in the daily reality of being a wife and a mother and a woman who is trying to hold everything together while her heart is completely broken?
Do you feel like you have been trying to heal but nothing is really moving like you are doing all the right things but there seems a deep disconnect?
Are you longing
37 | Why Emotions Still Can Take Over Out of Nowhere - And How One Sacred Space Can Change Your Healing After Betrayal and Broken Trust
Do your emotions still take over out of nowhere. maybe in the car, in the middle of a normal conversation, right before you fall asleep and you cannot figure out why you are still feeling this way?
Have you been powering through, staying busy, keeping the routines and yet something still feels tender and unresolved underneath all of that functioning?
Have you ever wondered if what you are calling
36 | Why I Still Can't Forgive: 8 Hidden Layers of Loss After Betrayal and Broken Trust
Have you been trying to forgive your husband's betrayal, saying the words, praying the prayers and yet the wound keeps reopening and the anger keeps coming back no matter how hard you try?
Do you feel stuck in your healing and cannot figure out why? It feels like you are doing everything right but it still seems you cannot move forward?
Are you months or even over longer into this journ
35 | What Has the Storm of Betrayal and Broken Trust Left Behind in Your Heart? A Simple Practice to Name the Hidden Losses
Have you been carrying a vague but heavy sense that you have lost so much more than just the marriage you thought you had, but you cannot quite put words to all of it?
Do you feel like there is damage in your heart you have never fully allowed yourself to see?
Are you weeks, months, or even longer into this journey and still feel like something is missing in your healing like you have on
34 | Why Do I Still Feel This Way: Understanding the Grief Nobody Talks About After Marriage Betrayal
Are you months or even longer into healing from your husband's betrayal, if that is infidelity or other behaviors that have broken your trust, and you’re still asking yourself why you feel so stuck and whether you will ever actually feel okay again?
Do you feel like your emotions are too much, not enough, or that you should be over this by now but no matter what you do you just cannot seem to move
33 | You Can’t Grieve What You Can’t Name: 3 Steps to Begin Grieving the Loss After Marriage Betrayal
Are you walking through betrayal in your marriage and feeling so overwhelmed you can't even find words for what you're feeling?
Do you find yourself numb, disconnected, or wondering why anger keeps rising up out of nowhere and you don't even know where it's coming from?
Are you months or even over a year into this journey and still feel stuck, wondering if something is wrong with you because you'
32 | The Loneliness Nobody Talks About After Infidelity and Broken Trust in Marriage
Are you feeling invisible because of broken trust?
Do you carry the weight of the betrayal that happened in your marriage completely alone because you don't know who you can trust with the truth?
Have you ever sat in church, surrounded by people, and thought, "nobody here knows how alone I really am?"
In this episode, I'm diving into one of the most painful and least talked about sides of betrayal
31 | When Loneliness Hits After Infidelity, Hold On To These 4 Truths In Psalm 31
Feeling deeply lonely after your spouse betrayed you?
Wondering how you can feel so alone even when people are around you?
Need a gentle way to bring your hurting heart back into God’s presence instead of hiding, numbing, or shutting down?
In this short Heart Check episode, we will walk through a gentle meditation on Psalm 31:19–24 for the moments when loneliness hits after betrayal, infidelity, c
30 | Rebuilding Your Identity After Infidelity And Broken Trust? Begin With These 3 Truths
Has infidelity started changing how you see yourself?
Do you feel like broken trust and betrayal trauma have made you question your worth, value, or identity?
Have you started believing that what happened in your marriage now says something about who you are?
In this episode, I’m sharing 3 truths to help you rebuild your identity after infidelity so you can stop letting pain, broken trust, and bet
29 | When Broken Trust And Betrayal Trauma Start Changing How You See Yourself, Start Here
Has broken trust started changing how you see yourself?
Do you feel like the pain of what happened is becoming a story about who you are?
Have you started believing lies like “I’m not enough,” “I’m unwanted,” or “something must be wrong with me”?
In this episode, I’m sharing a simple 4-step Heart Check to help you notice when pain is starting to affect your identity so you can come back to what is
28 | The Real Reason Why You Feel So Anxious And Lonely After Infidelity And What To Do About It
Do you feel like your mind keeps racing ahead after infidelity, imagining worst-case scenarios you cannot seem to shut off?
Are you tired of living on high alert, scanning for danger and wondering if you will ever feel safe again?
Do you want to know how to trust God and steady your thoughts when fear keeps taking over after betrayal?
In this episode, I’m sharing 3 things to understand about fear
27 | 4 Ways to Stop Dreading Your Week and Start Healing After Infidelity in Your Marriage
Dreading the week ahead before it has even begun?
Waking up feeling heavy, anxious, or both after betrayal?
Are your thoughts pulling you into the past or the future before your feet even hit the floor?
In this episode, I’m sharing 4 simple steps to help you when you wake up heavy or anxious so you can come back to the present moment, remind yourself what is true, and begin the week with a connect
26 | How to Move Forward After Betrayal Without Letting Pain and Trauma Take Over
Are you feeling stuck in the deep emotional pain caused by the betrayal? Do you wonder when the pain will stop or why the pain feels like it is bigger than you? Do you want to move forward but don’t know how?
In this episode, you will hear from a therapist what our beliefs, perspectives and experiences in childhood have to do with our pain and what it takes to begin focusing foward.
This conversa
25 | When The Emotional Pain of Betrayal Feels Like Too Much, Do This
When betrayal pain rises fast, it can feel like it takes over your whole body and mind. In this Monday Heart Check, Julia shares one gentle practice to help you stay anchored in God while being honest about what hurts.
This is not about fixing the pain in one moment. It is about learning how to meet it with truth, compassion, and the presence of Jesus, so it does not have to rule your next step.
I
24 | Is It Possible To Forgive Like Jesus After Betrayal?
What Kind of Heart Does Jesus Display in His Response to Betrayal?
When Jesus is betrayed, abandoned, falsely accused, mocked, and crucified, he does not respond with revenge, bitterness, or self-protection. Instead, he reveals a heart fully surrendered to the Father, free from retaliation, clear in both truth and mercy, and rooted in love even in suffering.
Using the language and framework of Dal
23 | A Simple Step Toward Emotional Healing After Infidelity
After betrayal, it can feel like fear, grief, loneliness, and emotional overwhelm are leading your heart before the day even begins. In this Monday Heart Check, we take one simple step toward emotional healing by slowing down and asking one honest question:
What is leading my heart right now?
As we begin Holy Week, this short episode invites you to pause, tell the truth about what is happening ins
22 | Forgiveness and Reconciliation After Infidelity: What’s the Difference?
It Takes One to Forgive, but Two to Reconcile After Betrayal
If you’ve been trying to forgive after infidelity but still feel unsettled, stuck, or unsure why trust has not come back, this episode is for you. In this Thursday Deep Dive, we will clarify the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation and explain why an apology alone does not rebuild trust. You’ll hear what forgiveness actually
21 | Why Forgiveness Still Feels So Hard After Betrayal and What to Do About It
If forgiveness still feels hard after betrayal, you are not failing.
In this Monday Heart Check, we’re talking about why forgiveness after infidelity can feel so difficult when your heart is still hurting, your body still feels tight, and trust has been deeply broken. If you’ve been wondering why you still feel stuck, angry, or resistant to forgiving, this short episode will help you understand wh
20 | The Biggest Mistake Women Make After Infidelity And 4 Ways To Start Healing
How do you stop focusing on your husband after infidelity and start healing yourself?
In this episode, we’re talking about one of the most common patterns women experience after betrayal: becoming hyper-focused on their spouse’s behavior.
Watching him.
Analyzing him.
Trying to figure out whether he is finally safe, honest, remorseful, or changing enough.
After infidelity, that response makes sense
19 | Instead of Waiting for Your Husband to Change, Try These 3 Steps to Heal After Infidelity
Do you feel like your peace and emotional safety depends on whether your husband changes after he cheated on you?
Are you waiting for the “right apology” or proof of change before you can feel at ease again?
Do you feel stuck emotionally because broken trust in your marriage keeps pulling your heart back into pain?
In this Monday Heart Check, we pause for a few minutes to explore a powerful
18 | Infidelity in Christian Marriage | Why Does It Feel So Unfair?
Infidelity in Christian marriage doesn’t just break trust between spouses.
It shakes faith.
If you’ve experienced betrayal, you may be wrestling with questions you never expected to ask:
- Where was God when this happened?
- Why did God allow infidelity in my Christian marriage?
- Why does this feel so unfair when I tried to do everything right?
In this episode, we explore the hidden spiritual str
17 | Betrayed By Your Husband And Wondering Where God Was? What Questions To Ask When Faith Feels Shaken
Has betrayal in your marriage shaken your faith in God?
Many Christian women who experience infidelity or betrayal in marriage expect the hardest work to be rebuilding trust with their husband. But often there is a deeper struggle going on underneath. It’s the tension that begins to surface in their relationship with God.
Questions like:
Where was God when this happened?
Why didn’t He warn me?
Can
16 | Feeling Disconnected After Infidelity in Marriage? Why Your Heart Needs Safety Before Trust Can Rebuild
Feeling disconnected after infidelity in marriage?
You may have chosen forgiveness, but emotional connection and trust still feel fragile.
After betrayal, many Christian wives wonder why closeness hasn’t returned yet even when they want their marriage to heal.
In this episode of Heart Work After Betrayal, we talk about one of the most important truths in infidelity recovery:
Your heart needs safet
15 | Rebuilding Trust After Infidelity: A Christian Practice to Feel Safe Again
Feeling Disconnected After Infidelity? A Christian Practice for Emotional Safety in Marriage
After infidelity in marriage, many women choose forgiveness but still feel distant from their husband.
If you’re walking through betrayal and wondering why emotional connection hasn’t returned yet, this episode is for you.
Your heart doesn’t just need to forgive.
It needs to feel safe again.
In this Christ
14 | Why You Can’t Seem to Forgive After Infidelity: How Letting Go of Bitterness Frees Your Heart
You want to forgive your spouse after infidelity… so why does it still feel impossible?
Do you feel stuck between your faith and your pain after unfaithfulness in your marriage?
Are you afraid that if you let go of your anger, you’ll lose your protection especially after broken trust?
In this episode, we’re talking about forgiveness after infidelity: what it really means, what it doesn’t mean, and
13 | Struggling With Forgiveness After Betrayal? Start Here
Are you struggling with forgiveness after betrayal?
You know forgiveness matters.
You may even want healing.
But when you’ve been deeply hurt by the one you love and trusted the most, forgiveness doesn’t feel simple.
In this Monday Heart Check, we’re not jumping into how to forgive.
Instead, I’m guiding you through one honest reflection question to help you understand where your heart really is.
I
12 | Emotional Reconnection After Infidelity: Why “What Do You Want?” Changes Everything
Trying to forgive after he cheated on you but still feel emotionally disconnected?
Trying to keep it all together, but unsure what you actually want anymore?
Feeling stuck or resigned in your marriage even though you chose to stay?
After infidelity, most women focus on forgiveness, rebuilding trust, and holding the marriage together.
But rarely do we stop to ask:
What do I want?
In this episode, I
11 | Stayed After the Affair? 4 Steps to Reconnect When You Still Feel Disconnected
You stayed after the affair… but still feel emotionally disconnected?
Wonder why you’re “not over it” even though some time has passed since the infidelity?
Feel unsettled in your marriage even when things look stable on the outside?
In this episode, I’m sharing a simple but powerful Heart Check to help you reconnect with your emotional needs after infidelity so you can rebuild trust from the insi
10 | Marriage After Infidelity: How to Stop Living in Defeat and Reclaim Your Heart
After infidelity in marriage, it’s not just trust that breaks — it’s your heart.
Did you feel like your entire life collapsed in that single moment when the affair was out — and with it, your sense of who you are?
After betrayal, have you found yourself quietly asking, “Was I not enough?”
Does it feel like your emotions are running the show, and you don’t fully trust your own heart anymore?
In thi
09 | Healing After Betrayal: A Psalm-Based Heart Check for Broken Trust
After infidelity or betrayal, do you feel unsure where your heart even is anymore?
Do you notice your week starting in survival mode before you’ve had a chance to breathe?
Have you been told to “trust God” or “forgive,” but inside you feel guarded, tired, or disconnected?
In this Monday Heart Check, we slow things down and focus on the heart as the center of trust, direction, and choice.
Using a g
08 | Communication After Infidelity: How to Avoid Conflict Without Abandoning Yourself
Afraid that if you speak up after infidelity, the conversation will spiral?
Do you hold things in because you don’t want to make things worse — but feel yourself slowly disappearing?
Want to communicate honestly without escalating conflict or abandoning yourself in the process?
In this Thursday Deep Dive, we explore how to communicate after infidelity in a way that honors your truth without escala
07 | Broken Trust in Marriage? A Heart Check Before You Speak
Afraid to talk after infidelity because you’re worried you’ll say the wrong thing?
Do you replay conversations in your head — wondering if speaking up will make things worse?
Feel stuck between wanting connection and wanting to protect your heart?
Welcome to Monday Heart Check Series – short, gentle practices to help you feel steadier at the start of each week
In this episode, I’m sharing a gentle
06 | Emotions Out of Control After Infidelity? How to Respond Without Regret
Do your emotions feel out of control after infidelity or betrayal?
Are you still experiencing emotional triggers, anxiety, or intense reactions even though you’re trying to heal?
Do you worry that if you can’t regulate your emotions, you’ll never trust again or know whether to heal your marriage or move on?
In this Thursday Deep Dive, we’re talking about emotional wholeness after betrayal and why
05 | Emotional Overwhelm After Infidelity? Stop Judging Your Feelings and Start Listening
Feel like your emotions come out of nowhere lately?
Wonder why you can feel “fine” one moment and completely undone the next?
Ever tell yourself, “I should be past this by now,” but your heart doesn’t agree?
In this Monday Heart Check, I’m sharing a gentle reframe for emotions — especially when they feel overwhelming or out of control after betrayal. We’ll talk about what emotions actually are, wh
04 | Why You Can’t Stop Spiraling After Infidelity and How the Psalms Steady Your Heart
Do you dread going to sleep because that’s when your mind starts replaying details and imagining worst-case scenarios?
Are you waking up from nightmares feeling flooded, panicky, or like you’re right back at day one?
Do intrusive thoughts hit you out of nowhere, at night or in the middle of the day, and you don’t know how to calm down?
Have you wondered, “Why is this still happening to me?” or “Wh
03 | Haunted by Nightmares or Intrusive Thoughts After Infidelity? Try This 5 Minute Practice To Stop The Spiral
If betrayal trauma has you waking up from nightmares, replaying details, imagining worst-case scenarios, or spiraling with intrusive thoughts—this mini episode is for you. In today’s Monday Heart Check, you’ll get one gentle, practical practice you can try right away to help calm your mind and steady your soul.
In this episode, Julia Carlton, a relationship recovery coach, shares why nights (and r
02 | Rebuilding Trust After Betrayal: 3 Shifts to Build a Strong Foundation
In this episode, we dive into the first steps of rebuilding trust after betrayal, the steps most people overlook because they challenge us in our deepest core and they require more honesty than we are always comfortable with. I share the moment I discovered my husband’s affair and the unraveling that followed and the choices I made to reveal what rebuilding actually begins with.
We break the proce
01 | Welcome and Intro to Heart Work After Betrayal
Are you close to giving up hope as you navigate the aftermath of betrayal, infidelity and/or broken trust in your marriage?
Do you feel alone or confused as you try to sort out what to believe and who to believe anymore?
Are you doubting the goodness of God or loosing faith because the pain of betrayal is too much?
Welcome to the very first episode of Heart Work After Betrayal! Today my dear fr
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