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Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST

Ken Howard, LCSW, CST 217 Episodes Aug 21, 2026

Gay Therapy LA with Ken Howard, LCSW, CST is a therapy-informed podcast focused on gay men's mental health, sex, and relationships. Hosted by Ken Howard, a gay men's specialist psychotherapist and AASECT Certified Sex Therapist with over 32 years of experience, the show explores real clinical topics like anxiety, depression, trauma, shame, and internalized homophobia. It also discusses gay relationships, including monogamy, open relationships, consensual non-monogamy, and polycules, as well as sex therapy issues such as desire, performance, kink, porn, HIV, and sexual confidence. The podcast aims to provide deep, practical insights rather than pop psychology clichés, drawing from decades of work with gay male clients, couples, and polycules.

Episodes

The Quiet Ambivalence of Open Relationships in Long-Term Gay Couples
The Quiet Ambivalence of Open Relationships in Long-Term Gay Couples Aug 21, 2026 35:45 What happens when a long-term gay couple is no longer fully monogamous—but neither partner feels entirely comfortable calling the relationship open? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores the emotional territory between monogamy and consensual non-monogamy: relationships that change gradually, sexual agreements that make sense intellectually but remain difficult emotionally, and the difference between gen
Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Part 2: Gifts, Touch & Attachment
Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Part 2: Gifts, Touch & Attachment Jul 31, 2026 31:06 In Part 2 of Five Love Languages Reimagined for Gay Men, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why receiving gifts and physical touch can mean far more than they seem. Gifts may communicate that your partner stayed in your mind; touch can offer comfort, safety, and belonging without needing to lead to sex. Ken connects these everyday moments to attachment, the histories gay men bring into relationships,
Five Love Languages for Gay Men: What They Really Mean (Part 1)
Five Love Languages for Gay Men: What They Really Mean (Part 1) Jul 28, 2026 21:52 The five love languages can be useful—but for gay men, they often carry deeper psychological meaning. In Part 1 of this two-part episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, reimagines the familiar framework through the lived experiences of gay men. He explores why words of affirmation can be about being seen, why acts of service can become a way of earning closeness, and why quality time is less about hours
Why High-Achieving Gay Men Struggle to Feel Loved
Why High-Achieving Gay Men Struggle to Feel Loved Jul 15, 2026 30:53 Many successful gay men appear to have everything: thriving careers, financial security, meaningful accomplishments, and lives that others admire. Yet beneath that success, many quietly wonder whether they are truly lovable—or simply valued for what they achieve. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores why professional success often fails to create emotional security. Drawing on more than
Why Am I Never Invited? The Hidden Psychology of Social Exclusion Among Gay Men
Why Am I Never Invited? The Hidden Psychology of Social Exclusion Among Gay Men Jul 1, 2026 32:52 Have you ever opened Instagram only to discover your friends got together without you? Within seconds, your mind may begin asking painful questions: Did they forget me? Did they not want me there? What's wrong with me? In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores why social exclusion hurts so deeply—and why the real wound often isn't the missed invitation itself, but the meaning we attach to i
Gay Men and Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Ways We Leave Ourselves Behind
Gay Men and Self-Abandonment: The Quiet Ways We Leave Ourselves Behind Jun 22, 2026 38:45 Many gay men believe their struggles stem from anxiety, loneliness, dating frustrations, low self-esteem, or difficult relationships. But underneath many of these challenges lies a quieter and often overlooked pattern: self-abandonment. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores how gay men learn to disconnect from their feelings, needs, boundaries, anger, instincts, and even their dignity i
Why Trump Feels So Powerful: The Psychology of Authoritarian Certainty
Why Trump Feels So Powerful: The Psychology of Authoritarian Certainty Jun 17, 2026 17:05 Why does Donald Trump continue to inspire such fierce loyalty among millions of Americans? In this special episode of the Gay Therapy LA Podcast, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, steps outside his usual focus on gay men's mental health to examine a broader psychological question: what emotional needs does authoritarian communication fulfill? Drawing on more than three decades as a psychotherapist, Ken explo
Why Can't I Stay Hard Anymore? A Gay Man's Guide to Erectile Dysfunction
Why Can't I Stay Hard Anymore? A Gay Man's Guide to Erectile Dysfunction Jun 1, 2026 24:49 Why can't I stay hard anymore? Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores the real causes of erectile dysfunction in gay men—and what actually helps beyond pills, panic, and self-criticism.
Why Successful Gay Male Professionals Still Feel Off — And What Actually Changes It
Why Successful Gay Male Professionals Still Feel Off — And What Actually Changes It May 18, 2026 49:59 Many successful gay male professionals reach a point where something doesn't quite add up. Your career works. You're capable, driven, and functioning at a high level. And yet, something still feels off—especially in relationships, connection, or your sense of ease outside of work. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explores why this happens—and why insight alone isn't enough to change it. He b
Beyond Insight (Part 2): What Gay Men Can Do to Finally Create Real Change
Beyond Insight (Part 2): What Gay Men Can Do to Finally Create Real Change May 12, 2026 26:43 In Part 1 of this series, we explored why insight alone isn't enough to create real change in gay men's lives — even for those who are highly self-aware, emotionally intelligent, and deeply reflective. So what actually does work? In Part 2, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, moves beyond theory and into real-world application. This episode focuses on the practical side of personal growth: how to translate ins
Beyond Insight (Part 1): Why Gay Men Stay Stuck Even After Therapy and Self-Help
Beyond Insight (Part 1): Why Gay Men Stay Stuck Even After Therapy and Self-Help May 7, 2026 22:40 Many gay men already understand themselves surprisingly well. They've read the books, listened to the podcasts, explored their childhood patterns, and can explain their shame, anxiety, trauma, or relationship struggles in detail. So why do so many still feel stuck? In Part 1 of this two-part series, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST, explores one of the biggest limitations of insight-based personal growth: un
Gay Men and How to Build Real Friendships in Adulthood
Gay Men and How to Build Real Friendships in Adulthood Apr 16, 2026 13:40 Why does it feel so hard to build real friendships as a gay man in adulthood? You meet people. You have good conversations. There's even mutual interest. But somehow, nothing turns into something consistent or meaningful. In this episode, Ken Howard, LCSW, CST explains why this isn't about a lack of effort—it's about a lack of structure. He breaks down: why modern gay social life often prevents f

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