BPD Diaries: Stories and Science with Steff
I'm Steff, psychologist & BPD Warrior. Join me for unfiltered stories, the latest research, & practical strategies that actually work. It's real, raw, & honest talk about BPD, with just enough humor to make the hard stuff easier to hear. Whether you're navigating your own diagnosis, supporting someone who is, or just trying to understand, you're welcome here. Brought to you with love by Stephanie Schildknecht.
Episodes
What Happens When You Diagnose A 14-Year-Old With BPD? | Teenage BPD Expert Professor Joost Hutsebaut
What if the label everyone's afraid to give a teenager is the one thing that could save their future?Professor Joost Hutsebaut has spent a career working with young people on the edge of a diagnosis most clinicians won't touch: borderline personality disorder (BPD). In this episode, Joost explains why he wrote a paper called The Diagnosis That Should Speak Its Name, arguing it's ethically right to
Should You Tell People You Have BPD? The Honest Answer.
Whether you've just been diagnosed with BPD or have been living with the diagnosis for years, deciding whether to disclose it can feel overwhelming. Should you tell your partner? Your family? Friends? Your employer? Or is it safer to keep it private?In this episode, I explore one of the most common and emotionally difficult questions people with BPD ask.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something
Is It Ever Too Late To Heal From BPD? | Late Life BPD Expert Professor Arjan Videler
Helping young people with BPD is 'sexy.' Helping older adults? Not so much. That's the ageism we need to talk about.In this episode, I'm joined by Professor Arjan Videler - Professor of Psychotherapy in Older Adults at Tilburg University, senior researcher at PersonaCura in the Netherlands, and one of the world's leading voices on BPD across the lifespan.We cover:• The 19-year life expectancy gap
Stoicism for the BPD Brain | 10 Principles That Actually Work
What if the most effective framework for BPD recovery was written by a former slave and a Roman emperor over 2,000 years ago?This episode is about Stoicism. Not the pop culture version that means suppressing your feelings and pretending nothing hurts, but the real thing. A practical, rigorous system of thought that maps onto what people with BPD struggle with most.The impulsivity. The fear of aban
Psych Wards: A Lifeline or a Trap? | The Brutal Truth Nobody Tells You Before You Go In
If you have BPD, there's a good chance you've either been to a psychiatric hospital, or been told you should go.Maybe it helped. Maybe it made things worse. Maybe you left feeling more broken than when you arrived.In this episode, I want to give the full picture:• When is hospitalization genuinely helpful?• When is it actively harmful?• What does the research say?• What are your rights on
99% Sought Help. Most Didn't Get It In Time | BPD Expert Dr Jillian Broadbear on Men with BPD, Suicide & What Needs to Change
99% of people with BPD who die by suicide sought help in the year before their death. 88% in the last six weeks.They were going to the right places - emergency departments, GPs, crisis services. The system failed them.In this episode, I sit down with Dr. Jillian Broadbear, researcher at Spectrum, Australia's leading personality disorder service, to ask the hard questions.She talks about why men ar
You Love Someone With BPD. Now What? | Honest Answers to What Loved Ones of People With BPD Ask Most
You love someone with BPD. But some nights, you lie awake wondering:• Do they actually love me?• Am I codependent or just a caring person?• Is this BPD or emotional abuse?• Should I stay or should I leave?• Why do they threaten suicide when I try to leave, and what do I actually do?These are some the questions partners, parents, and friends of people with BPD ask. Often with guilt. Often with exha
The Internet's Most Asked BPD Questions, Answered | People with BPD Edition
It's BPD Awareness Month. So I am doing something different.I keep seeing the same questions. Asked at 2am. Asked through tears. Asked by people who are exhausted, confused, and just want an honest answer.This episode answers 10 of the most common questions people with BPD actually ask, including:• Is it BPD or bipolar?• Why do I react so intensely even when I know better?• Am I a bad person b
Too Old for a BPD Diagnosis? | Late-Life BPD Diagnosis (And Why It's Never Too Late to Heal)
In this episode, we explore what it means to receive a BPD diagnosis later in life. Why it happens so often, what the latest research tells us about BPD across the lifespan, and why healing is never too late.Whether you're newly diagnosed, still searching for answers, or supporting someone you love, this one's for you.It's never too late to be understood.🌱 Have questions, stories, or s
Quiet BPD | The One Who Always Has It Together (And Is Quietly Falling Apart)
What if your emotional pain was invisible , even to the people closest to you?In this episode, we explore Quiet BPD: the presentation of Borderline Personality Disorder where the storm rages entirely on the inside. No outbursts. No visible chaos. Just a carefully maintained exterior while everything underneath is burning.We cover what Quiet BPD actually is (and what the research says), why it'
When Food Becomes a Coping Mechanism | BPD & Eating Disorders
Nearly 1 in 3 people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) will also experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. But this connection goes far deeper than food, weight, or appearance.In this episode, we explore the powerful and often misunderstood relationship between BPD and eating disorders, including anorexia, bulimia, and binge eating disorder.Why do these conditions so oft
The Most Effective Free Skill You're Not Using for BPD | Sleep and BPD
For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, night isn’t peaceful.It’s when the abandonment dreams start.When shame replays.When the nervous system refuses to power down.Sleep isn’t just rest, it’s emotional regulation, impulse control, and survival.In this episode, we talk about sleep and BPD, from vivid nightmares and insomnia to the emotional hangover that lingers the next day, and how
Is Recovery From BPD Possible?
What does recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder actually look like?For years, Borderline Personality Disorder was considered chronic and untreatable.And if you've ever searched for "BPD recovery," you've probably seen two extreme narratives: the hopeless one that says you'll never change, and the oversimplified one that says DBT will fix everything overnight. Neither
The Midlife BPD Crisis Nobody Talks About | BPD, Perimenopause and Menopause
Have you spent years stabilizing your BPD, only to feel like you're unraveling again in your 40s or 50s? What if it's not your therapy failing, it's your hormones? In a medical blind spot affecting so many, perimenopause and menopause can dramatically amplify BPD symptoms, yet almost no one is talking about it.In this episode, we look into one of the most critical and overlooked inters
Hell Week | BPD & Your Menstrual Cycle
Why does everything feel so much harder the week before your period? For many people with Borderline Personality Disorder, the days before menstruation feel brutal. But this isn’t “just PMS.”If your BPD symptoms seem to sync perfectly with your menstrual cycle, you're not imagining it. This is real, it's biological, and it has a name. In this episode, we explore the often-overlooked connec
Ghosting, Blocking & Dopamine | When Likes Feel Like Love | Social Media and BPD
Feeling empty, disconnected, or raw? You open Instagram, post something carefully crafted, and for a moment, the likes make you feel seen. Then, the algorithm shifts. An ex appears. A friend's post feels like a dig. Or worse: silence. Your post gets three likes. That piece of yourself vanishes into the digital void.What happens next? The chest tightness. The spiral. The urge to delete everythi
Navigating Work, Career, and BPD | Burnout, Triggers, and Finding Sustainable Careers
Work can be a lifeline or a psychological minefield when you live with Borderline Personality Disorder.In this episode, we discuss what it’s really like to navigate career, ambition, burnout, and identity with BPD. We talk about why so many of us become high achievers at constant risk of implosion - overworking to outrun shame, masking emotional pain behind professionalism, and collapsing the mome
BPD vs Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD)
Are people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) "antisocial"? In this episode, we dive deep into the complex, often misunderstood relationship between BPD and Antisocial Personality Disorder (ASPD).We go beyond the online stereotypes and fear-mongering to explore the science, the diagnostic lines, and the sobering overlaps. We break down the crucial differences and the emotional ex
A Christmas Message to Our BPD Diaries Family
To all the beautiful, complex hearts tuning in:Wherever you are, whatever this day looks like for you, we are so grateful to have you as part of the BPD Diaries family. Your presence, your courage, and your stories mean the world to us. Thank you for allowing us to be a small part of your journey.We’re thinking of you, and we’re sending you so much warmth.From our hearts to yours, Merry Christmas.
BPD, Histrionic Personality Disorder & The ‘Hysterical’ Myth | What’s Really Going On?
Have you ever been called “too dramatic,” “too emotional,” or “attention-seeking”? These labels are hurtful, oversimplified, and often point to a deeper, misunderstood struggle. In this episode, we explore the complex and often confused relationship between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD).We go beyond the stereotypes to unpack the science and the sto
Why Christmas Hurts & How to Get Through It | The BPD Holiday Survival Guide
"Tis the season to be... triggered? If the "most wonderful time of the year" feels more like an emotional pressure cooker, you are not alone. In this episode, we break down exactly why the holidays are so dysregulating for those with BPD, from attachment activation to sensory overload, and arm you with a practical toolkit to not just survive, but find small moments of peace.You'
Bipolar or BPD? How to Tell the Difference and Get the Right Treatment
Have you ever wondered, "Do I have BPD or Bipolar Disorder?" You're not alone. This is one of the most common and consequential mix-ups in mental health, leading to years of wrong treatments and unnecessary suffering. In this episode, we're cutting through the confusion.We break down the science and the stories behind Borderline Personality Disorder and Bipolar Disorder, explaini
Am I the Narcissist? | BPD vs Narcissism | Victim or Perpetrator
On social media, ‘narcissist’ has become a slur for anyone who hurts us. But what happens when this label gets weaponized against people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), a condition often defined by deep empathy, self-criticism, and a fear of abandonment?In this episode we dive into one of the most painful and misunderstood dynamics: the relationship between BPD and narcissism. We explo
When Your BPD Doesn't Look "White" Enough to Be Diagnosed
When we talk about Borderline Personality Disorder, we talk about a checklist. But what happens when that checklist was written with a very specific person in mind? What happens when your culture teaches you to express pain in a way that medicine doesn't recognize?In this episode, we pull back the curtain on how BPD is shaped and perceived across different cultures.Whether you’re a clinician,
Can I Be a Good Parent if I Have BPD?
Is it possible to be a good parent when you have Borderline Personality Disorder? Parenthood is hard enough, but what happens when you add Borderline Personality Disorder into the mix?We unpack what the research really says about parenting with BPD, from emotional dysregulation, shame, and attachment challenges, to the incredible empathy, protectiveness, and determination many parents with BPD bri
Why Do So Many People With BPD Struggle With Substance Use?
Your Addiction is a Solution (And That's the Problem)It’s not about partying, it’s about survival. For someone with BPD, substance use isn't the primary problem, it's a maladaptive solution to the problem of unbearable emotional pain. In this episode, we get real about the powerful link between BPD and addiction/substance use. If you've ever felt shame about your substance use, thi
Magic Mushrooms, MDMA, and Borderline Personality Disorder | Can Psychedelics Heal BPD?
Psychedelics are being hailed as the next revolution in mental health. Psilocybin for depression, MDMA for PTSD, ayahuasca with DMT for trauma. But where does that leave people with Borderline Personality Disorder?In this episode we explore what the research actually shows, powerful, conflicting lived experiences, the potential risks for people with BPD, and the deep questions around ego, identity
Is There a Pill for BPD?
Medication and BPD: it’s one of the most debated, confusing, and personal topics out there. In this episode, we unpack what the research actually says about meds for BPD and what they can and can’t do.From antidepressants to mood stabilizers to the “medication merry-go-round,” we explore the science, the side effects, and our own lived experiences. Whether meds changed your life, didn’t help at al
BPD in Men, Trans, and Non-Binary People | BPD Isn't Just a "Woman's Disorder
For decades, Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) has been painted as a “woman’s disorder.” But what happens when you’re a man, transgender, or non-binary and struggling with BPD? Does the system see you, or miss you?In this episode we explore the myths and realities of gender and BPD. We dive into the research that challenges old assumptions, explore how socialization shapes symptom expression,
MBT for BPD | Why You Misread People (And How to Stop)
Why does a quiet partner at dinner instantly mean they're going to leave? Why does a friend's joke feel like a personal attack? If you have BPD, you know this spiral all too well. In this episode, we explore how Mentalization-Based Treatment (MBT) is a therapy designed to address the core of this exact problem, and we break down the life-changing concept of "mentalizing".🌱 Have q
Happy World Mental Health Day
Hi everyone! Happy World Mental Health Day from your hosts Steff and Kerry!Here at BPD Diaries, we know that understanding our minds is a journey we don't have to take alone. Today, and every day, we see you, we hear you, and we're so glad you're part of this community. Wherever you are in your story, your experiences are valid. Thanks for listening, and for helping to create a world w
EMDR for BPD | Rewiring the Traumatized Brain
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) has become a buzzword in trauma therapy, but what does it mean for Borderline Personality Disorder? If you've ever wondered what it is and if moving your eyes back and forth can actually help with the intense emotional pain, fear of abandonment, and identity disturbances of BPD, this episode is for you.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something
How To Stop Repeating The Same Painful Patterns | Schema Therapy For BPD
If you've ever asked yourself, "Why do I keep doing this?!" when it comes to relationships, self-sabotage, or your inner critic, this episode is for you. DBT gives us the tools for the what, but Schema Therapy answers the why.Trigger Warning: We mention sensitive topics. Take care and pause if you need to.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover? We’d love to he
How to Stop being controlled by your thoughts | Mindfulness for BPD
If you're tired of being terrorized by your own mind, this episode is your first step toward freedom.For people with BPD, it’s like your mind is on fire. It’s like being in a runaway car with no brakes. In this episode, we explore the life-changing practice of mindfulness, not as a way to empty your mind, but as a way to finally get some distance from it.This isn't woo-woo wellness; it'
How DBT Can Be a Game-Changer for BPD
This episode explores the powerhouse toolkit of Dialectical Behavior Therapy: what it is, how it works on the brain, and why it's so often recommended. Join us for a balanced, evidence-based look at the therapy that promises a “life worth living,” where we share our own experiences with the skills that changed everything. We keep it real about the criticisms, the time commitment, and practical
ADHD or BPD? Why They Look So Similar.
Ever wondered if ADHD and BPD are connected? These two are often confused because they share similar symptoms. But behind the labels, there are important differences in how they affect the brain, behavior, and relationships. In this episode, we explore where they overlap, where they differ, and what actually helps when you’re living with both.Trigger Warning: We mention sensitive topics. Take care
BPD vs. C-PTSD | Same Coin, Different Sides?
In this episode, we unpack the ongoing debate about the relationship between Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) and Complex PTSD (C-PTSD).Are they truly distinct conditions, or two sides of the same coin? With so many overlapping symptoms, many clinicians and survivors wonder if BPD is better understood as a trauma disorder.Trigger Warning: We mention sensitive topics. Take care and pause if yo
BPD & Crime | Myths, Trauma & Notorious Cases
From Aileen Wuornos to Ted Bundy, are people with BPD criminals or misunderstood? And why do so many inmates have BPD?Are people with Borderline Personality Disorder* more likely to commit crimes, or more likely to be criminalized for trauma-driven behavior? In this episode, we dig into research, stats, and explore infamous cases like Eileen Wuornos, Ted Bundy, and Jeffrey Dahmer. From impulsivity
Loving Someone with BPD
What does it really mean to love someone with Borderline Personality Disorder*? In this powerful episode, we flip the lens, not just on living with BPD, but on loving someone who does. BPD is often misunderstood, and so are the relationships surrounding it. Partners, friends, and family are sometimes labeled as "enablers," or warned that people with BPD are “toxic” or “manipulative.” But
BPD Stigma | BPD Isn’t a Bad Word
Why is Borderline Personality Disorder still so misunderstood?In this episode we explore the stigma surrounding BPD, from the media, to the police force, to mental health professionals. We look at structural stigma, public stigma, and self-stigma, exploring real stories, real harm, and how validation and awareness can lead to healing.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover?
Celebrities & BPD | Borderline in the Spotlight
Why are so many celebrities labeled as “crazy,” “unstable,” or “too emotional”, and how often is that linked to Borderline Personality Disorder*?We’re not here to gossip or diagnose, but we explore how public figures have either disclosed or been linked to BPD, and what that means for public awareness and stigma.From the courtroom controversy of Amber Heard to the tragic loss of Amy Winehouse, we
Losing Touch | Paranoia and Dissociation in BPD
In this episode we explore the disorienting symptoms of transient paranoia and dissociation in Borderline Personality Disorder*.You'll hear personal stories, learn what the latest research says, and most importantly, we dive into real strategies for grounding yourself, challenging paranoid thoughts, and reconnecting with reality. 🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you’d like us to cover?
Self-Harm and Suicidal Behavior in BPD
In this deeply important episode of BPD Diaries: Stories and Science, we discuss the difficult yet important topic of self-harm and suicidal behavior in individuals with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). We offer a space for understanding and healing, and show that these actions are not necessarily about seeking attention, they are survival responses to unbearable pain. If you or someone you
Exploring BPD Rage
In this episode, we dive into the explosive, uncontrollable anger symptom of BPD. From internal rage, snapping over small triggers to full-blown rage that leaves guilt and shame in its wake, we explore where this anger comes from, how it ties into trauma, and what can actually help.⛔ Trigger Warning: This episode discusses violence, and partner violence. Please listen with care and take breaks if
The Void Within | Chronic Emptiness & BPD
In this episode, we dive into the silent crisis of chronic feelings of emptiness. We explore what this inner void really is (spoiler: it’s not just loneliness, depression, or boredom), how it impacts identity, and why it often leads to impulsive or self-harming behavior.We explore it through lived experience and the latest research, sharing evidence-based strategies from mindfulness to meaning-mak
You’re Too Much! | BPD & Emotional Instability
Feeling Everything, Everywhere, All at OnceIn this episode, we discuss the emotional rollercoaster that defines emotional instability. From sudden mood shifts to intense reactions that seem to come out of nowhere, we explore why this happens, how it impacts daily life, and what the science says. We’ll explore how childhood trauma wires the brain for emotional extremes and share evidence-based copi
Who Am I Today? | Unstable Identity in BPD
Ever looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger? Or changed your personality, hobbies, or even values depending on who you’re with? If your sense of self feels like a moving target, you’re not alone.Hear how BPD* turns life into a series of reinventions, how relationships shape identity, and how neuroscience, trauma research, and therapy offer a path toward a more stable sense of self.Trigger W
No Pause Button | BPD & Impulsivity Explained
Why did I say that? Why did I do that? Why couldn’t I stop?In this episode, we explore the whirlwind of impulsivity in Borderline Personality Disorder, from risky decisions and explosive reactions to the silent shame that follows. We break down what’s happening in the brain during those all-or-nothing moments, and how emotional dysregulation, a reactive amygdala, and underactive impulse-control sy
Too Much, Too Fast, Then Gone | BPD & Unstable Relationships
Why do our relationships start like soulmates and end in emotional wreckage? In this episode, we unpack the rollercoaster of unstable relationships, a core (and exhausting) symptom of Borderline Personality Disorder*.We explore how early attachment wounds, abandonment fears, and emotional dysregulation play out in love, friendship, and everything in between. We talk about everything from the favor
Don’t Leave Me! | BPD & Fear of Abandonment
Why does it hurt so much when someone pulls away — even a little? In this episode, we dig into the fear of abandonment: one of the most painful and core symptoms of BPD. We explore how early attachment wounds, brain differences, and invalidating environments shape our deep fear of being left — and why even small changes in connection can feel like devastation.We balance the science with lived expe
Steff’s Story
Steff shares her personal journey with Borderline Personality Disorder*, touching on identity struggles, toxic relationships, and how mindfulness shaped her recovery. A deep dive into the heart of BPD through the lens of survival, reflection, and hope.Trigger Warning: Discusses suicide, emotional and physical abuse, and eating disorders; take care.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you'd
Kerry’s Story
Kerry opens up about her lived experience with Borderline Personality Disorder*. From deep emotional highs and lows, to the diagnosis that changed everything, the lowest points, and the coping strategies that helped her reclaim her life. Vulnerable, raw, and powerful. This is a story of reclaiming her life and learning how to live with big emotions.Trigger Warning: Discusses suicide, emotional and
Why BPD Happens | Brains, Trauma & the Biosocial Theory
Let’s go deeper: Why does Borderline Personality Disorder* develop? We explore what’s going on in the body and brain (think amygdala, prefrontal cortex, hormones, and nervous system stuff) and how environment and trauma interact with biology - the Biosocial Theory according to Marsh Linehan. This is the “nature and nurture” episode, where the science gets personal. Trigger Warning: Discusses BPD c
WTF is BPD?
What is BPD, really? In this episode, we break down what borderline personality disorder* is according to the DSM-5 and ICD-11. We unpack the core symptoms, how they can show up in everyday life, and what makes this condition so misunderstood, and so human.Trigger Warning: Discusses BPD symptoms including self harm; take care.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you'd like us to cover? We’d
Why We’re Talking: Meet Kerry & Steff
In our very first episode, we open the diary and share our motivations for starting BPD Diaries. Find out what to expect in this mix of science, lived experience, and unfiltered honesty about Borderline Personality Disorder*.🌱 Have questions, stories, or something you'd like us to cover?We’d love to hear from you. Email us at bpddiariespodcast@gmail.com and let’s keep the conversation going.📩
Recommended
Conspiracy Files with Paige Carter
Learn English B1 with Daily News | English Listening Practice
Bad Friends
The Swerve Podcast: Obscure Topics | Conspiracy Theories
The Bread and Banter Podcast
The Church of What's Happening Now: The New Testament
Deadline: White House
English Vocabulary Help
این نقطه
Solved Murders - True Crime Stories
紐約鳥｜New York Aperture
Doctor Zhivago Slow Read
