The Lives in the Balance Podcast
The Lives in the Balance Podcast is produced by the non-profit organization Lives in the Balance, which is dedicated to helping children by promoting compassionate, effective, and non-punitive approaches to behavioral challenges. The podcast focuses on the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions model, an evidence-based approach created by Dr. Ross Greene. It provides resources, training, and advocacy to reduce harmful disciplinary practices in favor of more collaborative care for kids.
Episodes
Preschool Pushout
Our new host Ben Jones, Director of Legal & Policy Initiatives, explores the issue of Preschool Pushout. Every year, our youngest learners are pushed out of early childhood education settings through formal expulsions, but much more commonly, they are pushed out by informal means. We hear from two experts and a parent on not only the depth and personal impact of the issue, but how we can make
Empowering Voices: Previewing The Children's Mental Health Advocacy Conference
In this episode of the CPS Podcast, Dr. Ross Greene and Ben Jones discuss the upcoming Children's Mental Health Advocacy Conference, the current issues in children's mental health advocacy, and the opportunities for community involvement. They highlight recent legislative successes and challenges, particularly regarding corporal punishment and restraint in schools, and emphasize the importance of
Are the Kids OK?
Check out the May 2025 episode of the CPS Podcast - Are the Kids OK? Dr. Ross Greene and Dr. Nirav Shaw explore the question “Are the kids ok?” by unpacking the rising stressors kids face in a rapidly changing world, from social media and school shootings to shifting social roles, while reminding us that many kids are still doing well. They emphasize that mental health struggles are human respon
CPS with Adults and Kids with Disabilities: The Ireland Demonstration Project
This episode dives into the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions Ireland Demonstration Project, which has been making waves across children's disability services in Ireland. Toby Sachsenmaier shares how a grassroots start among a few healthcare professionals snowballed into a national initiative embraced by multidisciplinary teams — and even adult disability services. Anecdotes highlight how CP
If Not Now, When?
This episode of the CPS Podcast takes a big-picture look at why power struggles dominate our world—politically, socially, as well as in parenting and education—when collaboration could be the real game-changer. We explore how listening, understanding, and solving problems together (instead of fighting to "win") could lead to better outcomes for everyone. Turns out, three simple steps might just be
The Realities of Restraint and Seclusion
Two mothers share their stories about their children's experience with restraint and seclusion in schools to raise awareness and offer hope - there is a different way...
Skills That Foster The Better Side of Human Nature
Perhaps especially now, we think it's important to get back to skills -- empathy, appreciating how one's actions are affecting others, taking another person's perspective, resolving disagreements without conflict, and honesty -- that bring out the better side of human nature, and to be helping kids develop those skills as early as possible. Dr. Greene especially homed in on the honesty dimension..
Passion, perseverance…and problem solving
Dr. Ross Greene and Kim Hopkins explore the definition of grit and the fact that a lot of literature explaining how to teach grit leaves out the important role of problem solving first...
US Dept of Ed's Words of Wisdom: Do More of the Same
The US Department of Education recently released guidance suggesting that FBAs should be completed on all students. Dr. Ross Greene and our Director of Legal & Policy Initiatives, Ben Jones, J.D., discuss where this idea falls short, what can be done instead, and how the USDOE became so wedded to PBIS. We also have time to address one parent's email regarding a 4-year-old who is having diffi
The CPS Podcast: School Safety
Don't be late...ask the kid...developmental variability...safety - all key themes of this month's episode tackling the topic of school safety. Listen now!
Setting the CPS Record Straight
We are back for the 2024-25 school year! ...and using new technology to hopefully resolve previous audio issues. In this edition of The CPS Podcast, Dr. Greene responds to a TikTok-er who is spreading misinformation about the CPS Model. A good listen whether you are a parent, educator, provider or other caring adult!
What We're Up Against
There's legislation pending in Massachusetts that would ban suspension for students in grades K-3. An admirable effort, but it drew some very ineresting responses from readers of The Boston Glove, which reported on this effort. Those responses tell us we still have a lot more work to do to ensure that caregivers understand the true factors that cause kids' concerning behaviors...and why a suspensi
What's the Problem with Plan C?
In the March edition of the CPS Podcast, we take a deep dive into Plan C (in the CPS model, Plan C refers to putting an expectation on hold, at least for now). While those familiar with CPS recognize that Plan C is a very important part of prioritizing expectations -- and stabilizing some kids -- putting expectations on hold is frequently misinterpreted as "giving in" and "giving up," and some car
The CPS Podcast: Is the New ABA Really New?
On this month's program, we took a deep dive into "new" Applied Behavior Analysis (ABA) and whether its emphasis on assent and compassion really changes anything. Featuring guests Cindy Andree-Bowen and Shani Mandel.
Coping Strategies: Are We Teaching Kids to be Early or Late?
The special topic on today's program was Coping Strategies: Are We Teaching Kids to Be Early or Late? Unfortunately, many of the coping strategies we're teaching kids these days teach them to cope once they're already frustrated. That's late. What should we be empahasizing instead? Teaching kids how to identify, anticipate, and solve the problems that are causing them to become frustrated in the f
Voices of the Neurodivergent Community
Today's program -- Voices of the Neurodivergent Community: What We Need You to Know -- features an interview with Jenny Hunt, a published multidisciplinary researcher that focuses on medicine, medical law, and ethics. Recently, they shifted their interest to Neurodiversity and go by the online name Autistic Sighentist.
Why is There Disproportionality of Punitive, Exclusionary Discipline in Schools?
Our guest hosts, Alex Spencer (formerly principal of the Alternate Learning Centers in the New York City Public Schools) and Ben Jones (Director of Legal and Policy Initiatives at Lives in the Balance) described their personal experience with and data related to the disproportionate use of punitive, exclusionary discipline with Black and Brown students and those with with disabilities.
De-escalation is Not Crisis Prevention
On the first Tuesday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins cover a wide range of topics related to how we understand and treat our kids -- especially those with concerning behavior -- and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model. Whether you're a parent, a grandparent, an educator,
CPS Across a Range of Ages
We had an update from one previous caller (Plan C for the win!), an email about how to use the model with toddlers, and another caller who is worried about her 18 year-old son who seems to have regressed considerably. Check out the advice given about the CPS Model across a range of ages! We will be back in September - You can call into the program to get your questions answered or submit them vi
A Little of This and a Little of That
We were able to clear some of our email backlog in today's episode and talk through how a grandparent could bring up CPS to her daughter who is parenting a challenging child, what to do when solutions don't work, and using the model with a kiddo who appears to be cognitively rigid. Have a listen!
Surprises Often Lurk in Step 1
Interesting discussion about how step 1 - the Empathy Step - of the CPS Model helps us to understand the inner worlds of our children and how they perceive things...which often can be very different from how we adults perceive things. Important not to skip this step if we are going to help them durably solve problems! Hear the surprising information our caller learned when she talked with her ch
Plan B Stalled Before it Got Started
Thanks to two callers, we were able to talk through some of the key things that get in the way of Plan B getting off the ground - have a listen!
Dissecting an Attempt at Plan B with a 15 Year Old
Happy New Year! Thanks to a caller, we were able to visit many important aspects of the CPS Model by hearing about an early attempt at Plan B with her 15 year old son.
Drill Well, My Friends
Amazing discussions with our two callers today, both parents whose kids are struggling with school. We covered many of the nuances of solving problems collaboratively, but it all starts with making sure you're clear on what's making it hard for a kid to meet a particular expectation.
Missing Information
There's always some detective work to be done when Plan B doesn't go as well as hoped. Our team responded to some inquiries about that on today's podcast, but -- as is often to case with Plan B -- the team needed more info to be maximally helpful. The team was in rare form today...
Hope & Perspective Restored!
Thanks to a caller, we got a wonderful gift by helping to restore her hope, perspective, and energy for Plan B! Lots of good info about how to go from Plan C to Plan B, plus ALSUP and drilling tips.
When Solutions Aren't Mutually Satisfactory
On our last program before the Summer break, we talked with two callers about what to do when solutions aren't truly mutually satisfactory.
Is Plan B a Way to Get My Expectations Met? ...and other great questions!
We covered a few emails on today's program, including one from a parent that sparked a great conversation about whether Plan B is a way to get the adult's expectation met - the answer is "possibly" - listen for details! Also, trouble shooting screen time-related Plan B.
Disrespect? Solve the Problem that's Causing It
An abbreviated (30 minutes) program today, but lots of territory covered...including how to apply Plan B to disrespectful behaviors. (Hint: you won't be working on the disrespect directly.)
What are Your High-Priority Unsolved Problems?
You can't solve everything at once, so you'll have to be selective in choosing problems to start solving first. The algorithm: safety, frequency, and gravity. Thanks to a mom who called in, you'll get a real-life example on this program.
What to Do When a Child Becomes Physically Aggressive
The standard advice is defuse, de-escalate, and keep everyone safe. But Collaborative & Proactive Solutions goes further than that. It's crucial to identify and solve the problem that caused the child to become physically aggressive in the first place. Once the problem is solved, the child won't become physically aggressive in response to it anymore. And if you're only defusing, de-escalating,
A Hodge Podge of CPS Help
Lots of helpful topics covered today including adjusting the model for kids with language difficulties, drilling for information, wording unsolved problems, and more!
Working Out the Plan B Kinks
If only solving problems collaboratively was really easy! Well, sometimes it is, but sometimes some fairly common roadblocks can get in the way, and on today's program we talked about a bunch of 'em, thanks to our callers and emailers.
There Ain't No Good Guys...There Ain't No Bad Guys
Well, aside from providing guidance to a few parents on diffiuclties they're experiencing with their children, we also heard from a parent who feels strongly that government shouldn't tell parents how to parent. While we didn't agree completely, it gave us a good opportunity to listen, something that seems in short supply these days...
Plan B Troubleshooting
On our first program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble engaging her son in Plan B...and having trouble keeping her energy up to stick with the process. Hopefully the guidance of our panel was helpful.
Finding Your Window In
Does behavior belong in step 2? How do you find your "window in" with a reluctant older teen? Dealing with guilt over giving in...all these topics and more were covered on today's episode.
Finally, the "F" Word Makes Its Way Onto the Podcast!
But probably not the "f" word you're thinking of. And, when it comes to wording unsolved problems well, even "f" words are relevant.
Clarifying Kid & Adult Concerns
Two callers provided lots of great conversation today - everything from sibling strife, can an adult's concern be "I feel disrespected," and how to revisit a solution that isn't working.
Parenting During the Pandemic...and a Mom Who Was More Successful Than She Knew
Findings from the Lives in the Balance survey on Parenting During the Pandemic are now available on the Lives in the Balance website, and were discussed at the beginning of the program. Then we heard from a mom whose first attempt at Plan B went a lot better than she realized.
If You Need A Good Overview Of the CPS Model, This Podcast Is It
Thanks to four parents who emailed us with questions, this podcast provides a great overview of the basic components of identifying and solving problems collaboratively and proactively. Nothing beats real life...
Solving Problems Collaboratively Versus "Accommodating"...Not the Same Thing
After helping a mom sort through the ins and outs of doing Plan B with her son, we turned our attention to email, including one from a mom who was concerned that doing Plan B meant she was always going to be accomodating her son's problems. Good to get that cleared up.
What's Going Wrong With This Plan B?
On today's program, we responded to a mom whose son was having difficulty participating in the Define Adult Concerns step and Invitation step of Plan B, prompting some hopefully helpful words of wisdom from our panel. Also covered: should consuquences be used in tandem with Plan B...and should parents explain Plan B to kids before doing it?
Solving Problems Collaboratively Has Never Been More Important
And we're back...with the first segment of Parenting Your Challenging Child of the fall, after a very tumultuous summer. We responded to two moms with specific concerns about how to approach unsolved problems using Plans B and C, but a lot of the themes were the same as usual, whether related to parenting or society: the importance of listening to each other, empathizing with one another's concern
Back to School Podcast for Parents
Whether the schools in your neck of the woods are opening or not, the pandemic continues to present parents with major challenges. Here's your opportunity to vent, ask questions, and share ideas, and get some guidance from Dr. Greene, Kim Hopkins-Betts, and Deb Hagler, M.D.
Ending Restraint and Seclusion in Schools: A Followup Discussion
We had quite the response to the free screening of The Kids We Lose, and our first followup discussion of the film just wasn't enough. So we're doing it again. And we'd especially like to hear from those of you who have reduced or eliminated restraints and seclusions in your schools.
Fireside Chat with Dr. Greene
COVID-19 is clearly a formidable disease, and many have suffered because of it. And the pandemic has definitely added some new expectations to the mix for kids, parents, and educators: too much togetherness, distance learning, and social distancing among them. Yet the way to approach these expectations -- especially if kids are having diffiuclty meeting them -- has been there all along. So, with a
Discussion of The Kids We Lose with Dr. Ross Greene
Thanks for participating in the free screening of The Kids We Lose. This one-hour, online discussion with Dr. Ross Greene is your chance to ask questions about or comment on the film. To participate in the discussion directly, call (347) 994-2981.
Fear and Trembling Before the First Plan B
On this program, a very endearing grandma called in to get some guidance before trying her first Plan B with her grandson. Yes, Plan B is a different animal, but perfection is not the goal. She sounds like she's ready...now it's time to take the leap.
Three Plans, Two Ways to Apply Them
After checking in regarding how everyone is fairing with the COVID-19 restrictions, we talked in detail about the emergency application of Plans A, B, and C thanks to an emailer's question. We also addressed whether the lagging skill of chronic irritability and/or anxiety can be addressed through proactive Plan B.
Collaboration in Trying Times
Collaboration and empathy have never been more important. But let's get practical: school is closed, your kids are home, and you need some guidance! Listen in on this special edition of Parenting Your Challenging Child!
Surviving School Vacations
Great conversation today about surviving school vacations, expectations for connecting with family, and what to do when you find yourself in the heat of the moment when out in public
Pick Your Messy
We followed up on a B Team conversation about how do you know your expectations are reasonable? Thanks to two emails, we tackled the notion that "too much power" is given to kids when we use Plan B, those addictive screens, and the idea that lagging skills are for lenses.
Holiday Cheer
Holidays are a tough time for families, perhaps especially those with kids with social, emotional, and behavioral challenges. But it doesn't have to be that way, especially if parents are being responsive to the hand they've been dealt.
Young kids, impulsive kids, & getting started with CPS
Started out with some technical difficulties but ended up with a fantastic episode! Thanks to a caller, we talked about how to get started with the model, uses of the model, and wording of unsolved problems. We also answered two emails - one about how the model works with young kids and one about using the model with an impulsive kid.
Back for the 2019-20 School Year with a Bang!
Lots of great updates from the Summer, then we covered an email from a parent who was interested to know how we view the ADHD diagnosis. Thanks to a caller, we took a deep dive into using Plan B with screen time.
A mishmash of topics
On our last program for the 2018-19 school year, we talked with a caller about her son's school frustrations and how to best work with the school. Covered two emails as well - one asking about the PDA diagnosis and how to work with non-verbal kids, the other asking what to do when kids don't talk and when they don't follow through on solutions.
One mom, 2 boys and a lot of unsolved problems
Thanks to a caller, we covered a lot CPS territory today including the need for a meeting of the minds among a child's team to make real progress, when to seek help to get to that consensus, and the importance of how to word unsolved problems.
Screen "addiction," aggression, & kid not talking
Dr. Greene discussed the concept of screen "addiction" and whether Plan B can be helpful (it can!). We also answered an email from a mom struggling with an aggressive 5 year old, and a family where the child will not talk to mom.
Troubleshooting Plan B, Kids in "The Pit," Changing Lenses
After a revisit of the role of Plan C, a caller got some ideas to troubleshoot her Plan B attempt with her daughter about stealing her sister's belongings. A mother emailed in about her son "refusing to change." ...and some fantastic updates about our documentary, The Kids We Lose!
We Already Have Enough Crisis Management Programs!
The crew fielded lots of emails on today's program, along with a phone call with a mom who needed some help with Plan B. But the key theme of the program: when you're doing Plan B, you're not focused on dealing with a child's behavior in the heat of the moment...you're solving the problems that are causing those behaviors...and you're doing it collaboratively and proactively.
Seductive screens, heat of the moment, young kids, & hard-n-fast expectations
Lots covered on today's show thanks to many emailed questions (despite some technical issues): My son won't get off his phone to talk, what to do when big behaviors happen - won't my kid think it's ok to act that way?, work with 3-6 year olds in a Montessori setting, and expectations that aren't optional.
Consequences, choice, self-care, not talking...oh my!
On this episode, we covered lots of questions that came in via email - how do consequences fit in with CPS? When is it choice and when is it not? The importance of self-care. Can't get my kid to talk to me...to name a few.
Reluctant Spouses
On our first radio program of the fall, we heard from a mom who's having trouble getting her husband on boad with solving problems collaboratively with their child. There seems to be a lot of that going around, and the mom came away with lots of ideas. Listen to the program and you will too.
Skill building, the dreaded cell phone, kids not listening and refusing
On the first Monday of every month, at 11 am Eastern time, from September through May, Dr. Ross Greene and Lives in the Balance Director of Outreach Kim Hopkins-Betts – along with parents Stella Hastings and Jennifer Tretheway -- cover a wide range of topics related to behaviorally challenging kids in general and the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model in particular. You can call
Working Upstream & Delving into Plan C
Lots covered on this month's program including why use CPS with neurotypical kids? Help for a father who can't get his kid to talk and specifics about Plan C.
Reflections on the Parkland Tragedy & Other Hot Topics
Dr. Greene joined in the program today to offer reflections on the Parkland tragedy, and to partake in our continued discussion about what to do when your co-parent is not on board with CPS, as well as can you do CPS with young kids?
A CPS Smorgasbord
Lots of territory covered on today's program: How do you keep drilling when a kid says he doesn't have a problem with the unsolved problem? What do you do when the kid talks but says a lot of things that don't seem to have anything to do with the unsolved problem? What do you do when your co parent isn't on board with CPS?
Plan C Isn't for Giving In...It's for Stabilizing
We covered some important territory on today's program...on one call, a mom needed some reassurance that the Plan C she was doing with her daughter represented her conscious, deliberate effort to stabilize things...and that getting some Plan B back into the mix is her next step.
Parents Do Well If They Can
Alas, the holidays are upon us, and it's the time of year when people are often nicer, kinder, gentler, more patient, and more empathic. So what's going wrong this year? Good to be reminded that we all do well if we can, and that we all exhibit challenging behavior (some more severe than others) when expectations outstrip skills. But we also a lot of trouble-shooting on today's program...
Getting Going and Bumps Along the Way
Thanks to the questions of a caller and a few emailers, we discussed how to get started with the CPS model, what to do if a solution isn't working, what to do with "I don't know," and how to handle defiance in the heat of the moment.
A Little Bit of Everything
Siblings that don't play well together, the word "no," what to do in the heat of the moment, and what to do when a solution doesn't work...all covered on today's program, thanks to our B Team Parent Leaders and the fantastic questions we received from listeners!
Bringing the Joy Back to Parenting
On our first program of the new broadcast year, Dr. Greene welcomed his new co-hosts, Kim Hopkins-Betts (Director of Outreach at Lives in the Balance) and Jennifer, a B Team leader and parent. They were able to respond to several emails, including one from a mom who's been struggling with her behaviorally challenging 14-year old daughter for a very long time and who hasn't experienced much joy as
Yup, Parents Can Have Lagging Skills Too
So, if a parent feels like his or her lagging skills are contributing to challenging episodes with his or her child, then how does the parent learn the skills? The same way the kid does: by participating in Plan B, preferably proactively.
Pitchforks and Torches Do Not Solve Problems or Teach Skills
There sure are a lot of parents who are struggling with trying to get their schools to solve problems collaboratively with their students...and we heard from many of those parents on today's program.
It's a Jungle Out There
It's a jungle out there for many behaviorally challenging kids, and we had another stark reminder of that sad fact on today's program.
Beware the Preordained Solution
On today's program, we discussed one of the ways in which Plan B can go off the rails: adults entering Plan B with a preordained solution. Remember, a mutually satisfactory is one that addresses the concerns of both parties, not the solution the adult had envisioned before initiating Plan B.
The Good Thing About Blips
Today we heard from a mom whose son hadn't had an explosion in months, and then -- when a video game didn't pan out as he'd hoped -- it got ugly. So we talked a little about the up side of blips, including the fact that we all have 'em.
Looming IEP Meeting!
Lots of territory covered on today's program, including some guidance for a mom from overseas who's hoping an IEP will get the folks at school to solve problems collaboratively with her son.
The Explosive Child Returns!
At the age of 26, he isn't explosive anymore...but he took the time to call in to today's program -- the 200th segment of Parenting Your Challenging Child -- to tell us about his journey and remind us all of why we do what we do.
Angelic at School, Explosive at Home...What Gives?
If Kids do well if they can is true, then why would a kid behave perfectly at school and be a lot more difficult at home? Answers to that question and others are provided....
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