More Human. More Kind. | Parenting LGBTQ Kids, Unlearning Fear, Becoming More Human
More Human. More Kind. is a podcast for parents of LGBTQ kids, hosted by Heather Hester, author of Parenting with Pride. Each episode offers practical guidance, honest conversation, and tools for navigating the fears and challenges that come when a child comes out. The show helps parents move from confusion and grief to grounded, loving action, covering topics like difficult conversations, loving boundaries, and unlearning old beliefs. New episodes are released every Tuesday and Friday.
Episodes
What's at Stake This Midterm Cycle? What Parents and Allies of LGBTQ Kids Need to Know
What does our democracy actually rest on, and which of those supports are being weakened right now?With less than a month to go before the midterms, Heather breaks down four load-bearing walls of American democracy, a decade of wins and losses for LGBTQ families, and where your dollars and time can make the biggest difference this November, wherever you live.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Re
What to Say When Your Kid Asks How You're Voting: Four Small Actions This Week
What do you actually say when your kid asks how you're voting?This is the Friday companion to Tuesday's episode on political approval-seeking. Heather makes that thought experiment small enough to carry through the week: one word, one two-minute action, one urge to resist at the table, and one line to say to your kid that could change how safe they feel.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Reframe
Are Your Politics More Important Than Your Child? One Question to Ask Before You Vote
Find the right level of support for you!Is your vote reflecting your own values, or someone else's approval?This is the first episode in a month-long series leading up to the midterms. Heather shares the moment her daughter, in tears, asked her not to vote for Trump again, and what that moment forced her to confront about whose approval her politics had actually been seeking. She offers a thought
One Simple Action to Support Your LGBTQ Loved One Today
What's one thing you can do today to support your LGBTQ loved one through coming out?This is the Friday Butterfly Effect episode for Tuesday's Coming Out Action Guide episode. Heather offers one word, one tiny action, one micro rebellion, and one line to steal, all built around a single finding: the biggest factor in a young person's coming out journey isn't having the right words. It's having one
What to Actually Do at Every Stage of Coming Out: A Parent's Action Guide
Find guides, tools, resources, and more!You know the six stages your teen moves through when they come out, and the six stages you move through as their parent. But what do you actually do at each one?This episode was inspired by listener feedback asking for more concrete next steps. Heather walks through a specific action for every single stage on both sides, your teen's process and your own, so
Presence, Not Fixing: Four Small Actions for Your LGBTQ Kid's Dating Life
What do you actually say when your kid is hurting, and how do you know something's wrong before they tell you?This is the Friday follow-up to Tuesday's episode on queer dating and breakups. Heather offers four small actions split between the before-it-happens world of prevention and awareness and the it's-already-happening world of simply showing up. The facts equip you, but they aren't what your
Your Queer Kid's Breakup Isn't Like Yours: What Parents Need to Know About Dating, Abuse, and Support
Do you know how to actually help your queer kid through a breakup, or are you using advice built for straight relationships?Both of Heather's daughters went through breakups within a month of each other this year, and it revealed just how underprepared she was to support them the way she wanted to. This episode debunks the most common and most dangerous stereotypes about queer relationships, walks
Four Tiny Actions That Will Support Your Gay, Lesbian, or Bisexual Kid This Week
What does your gay son, lesbian daughter, or bisexual kid actually need from you this week?This follows up on Tuesday's episode about the real differences between a son and daughter coming out. Heather offers four small, specific actions, one for each thread from that conversation, so nothing gets lost in the idea that "gay is gay." Small doesn't mean simple. It means paying attention to which que
Books Are Windows and Mirrors: Shari Becker on Writing Inclusive Kids' Books and Fighting Bans
SPECIAL EPISODE!What actually happens when a book gets banned, and who pays the price for it?Heather sits down with children's author and Whale Rock Workshops founder Sheri Becker to talk about why inclusive books matter for every kid on the shelf, not just the ones who see themselves in the story. Sheri pulls back the curtain on what it actually takes to write across difference, why publishers ar
A Gay Son and a Lesbian Daughter Need Different Things From You: What Parents Get Wrong
"Gay is gay."Except it isn't. And if you're parenting both a son and a daughter through coming out, you may know that, but NOT know what to do.A gay son and a lesbian daughter face different stereotypes, different safety realities, and different early questions about who they are. This episode names both directly.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Debunk the most common stereotypes attached to g
Four Tiny Actions for Every Stage of Your Own Coming-Out Process
Do you ever feel overwhelmed by all of the information coming at you?This week's Butterfly Effect gives you four tiny actions across four different points in your own process, from repairing a moment you regret to saying your pride out loud.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Use the specific repair language for a moment you wish you'd handled differentlyGet guilt out of your head and onto paper
The Six Stages Every Parent Goes Through When Their Kid Comes Out
Your teen isn't the only one going through a coming out process. You are too, and most parents skip past their own.From shock to true acceptance, there are six distinct stages parents move through after a child comes out. Naming them makes the hardest parts- the guilt, the denial, the shame- survivable instead of silent.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Recognize which of the six stages you're
You Don't Need the Right Words: Coming Out Support in Four Small Moves
Tuesday's six stages aren't just something to understand — they're something to practice.This week's Butterfly Effect gives you one small action for four different moments in your teen's coming out process, from staying present in silence to knowing exactly when to step back.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Practice being a "witness" instead of an investigator during the invisible early stageA
Understanding Your Teen's Coming Out Process: Vital Support Info for Parents
Looking for support but not quite sure what type? We've got you covered!Did you know that your teen may be going through the hardest, most private season of their life right now and showing you almost none of it?Coming out isn't one conversation; it's a six-stage internal process your teen may move through for years before they ever say the words out loud. Understanding where they are helps you kn
A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Ready for the Quieter Work of Unlearning
The unlearning doesn't stop. It just gets quieter, and quieter isn't the same as finished.This Butterfly Effect episode picks up Tuesday's quarterly check-in with one small practice: catching the reflex to label someone before you actually know anything true about them.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Notice the moment you want to label someone's gender or identity before you've been told anyt
Unlearning Doesn't End It Just Gets Quieter: What Parents of LGBTQ Kids Need to Know
Let's connect on Substack!Love is proven by what you're willing to unlearn. This is a check-in on that, for you and for me.Year-one unlearning is loud: fear, shame, and often a full religious deconstruction, and impossible to miss. What comes after is quieter and easy to overlook entirely: the automatic reach for a label, a tidy category, before you actually know anything true about someone. This
The Unperformed Version of You: For Parents of LGBTQ Kids Who Are Tired of Saying I'm Fine
Have you ever felt like the more put together you are on the outside, the more chaotic you feel on the inside?This Butterfly Effect episode carries Tuesday's conversation about performance and honesty into one small, practical moment you can catch this week: the pause before you say "I'm fine" on autopilot.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Catch the moment you're about to perform "fine" instead
What More Human Actually Means: Being Less Performed Changes Everything When Parenting LGBTQ Kids
Continue being more human on Substack!What does being “more human” mean to you?This episode is a personal one, tracing how performing "fine" for most of my life, learned as a survival mechanism, gave way to embracing the vulnerable, raw, and messy parts of who I actually am. It's a direct answer to the question at the center of this whole show, and an invitation for you to ask it of yourself.In th
Stop Apologizing for Being a Mama Bear: A Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Heading Into the School Year
Do you think of a threshold as a potential stumbling block or the place you stand before walking into something new or unknown?This Butterfly Effect episode builds on Tuesday's conversation about the five back-to-school thresholds parents face, with a small practice to help you name yours out loud instead of carrying it silently into September.In this episode, you'll learn how to:Name your thresho
Five Back to School Thresholds Every Parent of an LGBTQ Kid Faces
Grab the Panic to Plan Guide Join me on SubstackEvery August, before a single backpack gets packed, there's a threshold parents like us cross. Not the kids. Us.Interest: For parents of lgbtq teens, or kids who are neurodivergent, anxious, or otherwise vulnerable, back-to-school anxiety isn't extra worry stacked on top of normal parent worry. It's the baseline. This episode names five distinct vers
The One Question Every Parent of an LGBTQ Emerging Adult Needs to Ask Before Offering Advice
The goal was never to be needed forever. The goal was kids who still choose to confide in you even after they don't have to.This Butterfly Effect episode picks up right where Tuesday's conversation on parenting a queer teen versus a queer adult left off, with one small, doable practice for the week ahead. Allyship isn't just a big philosophy; it's built in tiny, repeatable moments like this one.In
What Changes When Your LGBTQ Teen Becomes an Adult and Why the Letting Go Is Hard
Join me on SubstackThere's a day every parent of a queer kid hits, and nobody warns you it's coming: the day you realize you don't get a vote anymore.Parenting guidance for a queer teen looks nothing like parenting guidance for a queer adult, and almost nobody names the difference out loud. This episode walks through what actually changes, from gatekeeping their world to trusting them to build the
The Threshold You Already Crossed This Summer: For Parents of LGBTQ Kids Heading Into August
Share The Panic to Plan Guide with someone!The courage becomes an orientation. But first you have to cross the threshold. This is your final Friday reset of the summer, and it is a good one.On Tuesday we talked about intentional kindness in LGBTQ+ allyship, the Threshold Moment, and the question that changes everything: what if it could also be fun? Today Heather closes out the summer with your Fr
When Advocacy Gets Hard: How Parents of LGBTQ Kids Can Show Up Boldly and Find the Joy
Advocacy is serious. The stakes are real. And some days the weight of it is genuinely hard to carry. But what if showing up boldly for your LGBTQ+ kid could also hold something else? What if it could also be joyful? This is episode 300, and it is worth the wait.In this milestone episode, Heather Hester introduces the Threshold Moment, the instant just on the other side of discomfort where courage
What Comparison Cannot Touch: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids
Grab your Panic to Plan Guide here!Comparison does not know you. And it does not know your kid, your journey, or the specific kind of love you are doing. This week's reset is about returning to what cannot be measured or ranked or taken from you.On Tuesday we talked about the comparison trap and the particular pain of measuring yourself against another parent and coming up feeling small. Today Hea
The Comparison Trap That Hits Parents of LGBTQ Kids Differently and How to Find Your Way Out
Get the Panic to Plan Guide hereThere is a particular kind of pain that does not announce itself loudly. You see another parent who seems to have it figured out, who has been advocating longer, speaking more fluently, loving more visibly. And something in you goes small. You know that feeling. This episode is for that moment.The comparison trap hits parents of LGBTQ+ kids in a specific and painful
Travel Prep as Love: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids
The research, the conversations, the paperwork, the permission you give your kid before you ever leave home. That is not just preparation. That is love made practical.On Tuesday we talked about what it actually takes to travel safely with an LGBTQ+ family. Today Heather brings it home with your Friday Butterfly Effect, reframing travel preparation not as a burden but as one of the most concrete ac
Traveling With Your LGBTQ Kid: What Every Parent Needs to Know Before You Leave
Summer travel should feel like joy. But if you have an LGBTQ+ kid, you already know there is a layer of preparation most families never have to think about. This episode is for you.The world is not equally safe for LGBTQ+ travelers. Not internationally, and not here at home in the United States. In this episode, Heather Hester walks through what the current global LGBTQ+ safety landscape actually
Genuine Joy Is Countercultural: A Friday Reset for Parents of LGBTQ Kids
Real joy doesn't come from a feed. This week's reset will help you find it, feel it, and help your kid do the same.In Tuesday's episode, we explored what queer creators are teaching our kids about authentic joy and identity. Today Heather brings it home with your Friday Butterfly Effect, one small shift designed to create a meaningful ripple in your week and in your relationship with your LGBTQ ki
What Queer Creators Teach Your LGBTQ Teen About Authentic Joy
Your kid has a feed full of people they've never met, and some of those people are quietly teaching them what joy looks and feels like. Do you know what they're learning?For LGBTQ teens especially, finding creators online who live and love the way they do can be genuinely life-changing. But not all joy is created equal. The most successful queer creators have discovered something worth understandi
You Can Love Fiercely and Still Be Running on Empty: A Reset for Exhausted Parents of LGBTQ Kids
You don't need a complete overhaul to start recovering from ally burnout. You need one small, doable thing.Interest: This week's quick follow-up to our episode on ally burnout and compassion fatigue gives you something tiny and real to carry into your week, no grand gestures or new routines required.Desire: In this episode you'll learn how to:Name your own stress pattern out loud, in one sentenceP
Bonus Episode: I'm Not Okay, and I Don't Think You Are Either
My Raw Reaction to This Week's SCOTUS RulingsA note before you press play.This isn't a normal episode. There's no outline, no structure, no neat takeaways. It's me, talking through what I'm feeling after two days of Supreme Court decisions that I'm still trying to process myself.If you've been doom-scrolling the news the way I have, you already know some of what's in here. The trans rights ruling.
Up at 2AM Researching? What Ally Burnout Looks Like for Parents of LGBTQ Kids
Talk to other parents who are experiencing burnout, too. Learn more about the Kindred Collective.Loving your child through a hard season can quietly burn you out, and most allies never see it coming.When a child comes out and struggles, parents often carry an invisible weight: vicarious stress, ambiguous grief, and a nervous system stuck on high alert. This episode names what compassion fatigue lo
PFLAG National on Creating Pride in Families: The New Resource Helping Parents Build Support Networks at Work
What if the support you've been looking for was one conversation away, right where you work?PFLAG National's Jamie Henkel joins the show to talk about Creating Pride in Families, a brand new resource library designed to help parents and caregivers of LGBTQ+ people build peer support networks inside their workplaces. Whether your company has a thriving ERG or you're starting from scratch, this epis
I Don't Need to Define You to Love You: A Reset for LGBTQ Parents
Check out in depth essays, meditations, and tips and strategies on the More Human More Kind Substack!Your kid changed how they describe themselves again, and some part of you is still waiting for the "real" answer.This Friday Reset picks up where Tuesday left off. One small shift, one word, one line you can carry into the week for the moments when not-knowing feels like too much, and you need a ge
Beyond the Binary: Why Fluid Doesn't Mean Unsure (Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Kids)
Find connection with other parents in the Kindred Collective!Your kid said something different about who they are than they did six months ago, and some part of you panicked.For a lot of parents, fluidity feels like the hardest version of this journey, not because it's harder to love, but because it doesn't offer the relief of a finish line. This episode is about what happens when you stop needing
Does Your LGBTQ Child Actually FEEL Your Love? Guidance for Parents Who Want to Close the Gap
Join me on Substack for deeper conversations (and extra tools and reflections for paid subscribers!)You already love your child deeply. But love that lives only inside you is invisible to the person who needs it most.In this Friday Reset, Heather offers one small, powerful shift: moving from loving to demonstrating. For parents of LGBTQ+ kids, the difference between feeling love and making that lo
Love vs. Feeling Loved | Guidance for Parenting LGBTQ Teens
Be part of a private community filled with parents just like you! Learn more about the Kindred Collective.You love your LGBTQ+ child. But does your child actually feel that love? And if there's a gap between the two, what does it cost them?In this episode, Heather explores the difference between loving your child and your child feeling loved. Research tells us that felt family acceptance is one of
Quiet Allyship: Parenting Guidance for When Your Child Is ONLY Out to You
Learn more about the Kindred Collective - a private community for parents of LGBTQ kidsYour LGBTQ teen trusted you before they trusted the world. But what happens when parent allyship has to stay quiet?When your queer or gay teen is only out to a small circle, you're doing the emotional work of affirming parenting without any of the visibility. This episode is parenting guidance for that specific
You Love Your LGBTQ Child, But Are You Being an Ally?
Be part of a community of parents just like you!As parents of LGBTQ teens, most of us want our children to feel loved, accepted, and supported. But what if there’s a difference between being a supportive parent and practicing true allyship?In this episode, Heather explores the important distinction between private support and active LGBTQ allyship. While creating a safe and affirming home environm
When One Parent Is Ready and the Other Isn't: Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Kids
Learn more about the Kindred Collective CommunityWhat happens when parents have different comfort levels, beliefs, or timelines around Pride and LGBTQ support?For many parents of LGBTQ teens, Pride season can bring underlying family tensions to the surface. One parent may be ready to advocate, celebrate, and show visible support, while the other may still be processing fear, confusion, grief, or u
How to Prep for Pride with Your LGBTQ Kid: Checklists for Preteens, Teens, and Young Adults
Learn more about the Kindred Collective CommunityAre you wondering how to help your LGBTQ teen enjoy Pride safely without turning every conversation into a lecture?Pride events can be joyful, affirming, and life-changing for LGBTQ teens, but they can also be overwhelming, emotional, crowded, and unpredictable. Many parents want to support their child’s experience while also making sure they’re pre
Helping LGBTQ Kids Stay Safe At Pride Events (Without Scaring Them!)
Learn more about the Kindred Collective CommunityHow do you talk to your LGBTQ teen about staying safe at Pride events without making them afraid to attend?Many parents want their LGBTQ teens to experience the joy, connection, and belonging that Pride offers, but also worry about safety, visibility, and the realities of today’s world. In this episode, Heather shares practical guidance for having c
What Happens When You Stop Abandoning Yourself: For Parents of LGBTQ Teens
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What if the exhaustion you feel has less to do with who you are and more to do with how long you’ve been pretending?In this Friday Reset: The Butterfly Effect, Heather reflects on her powerful conversation with Stef Vachon and explores what happens when survival mode slowly disconnects us from our authentic selves.So many peo
Before You Hang a Pride Flag, Ask Your LGBTQ Child This One Question First
Learn about The Kindred CollectiveBefore you hang the Pride flag or post your support online, have you asked your LGBTQ teen what actually feels supportive to them?Many loving parents and allies want to celebrate their LGBTQ child openly during Pride Month, but visible support can feel empowering for some LGBTQ teens and overwhelming for others. In this episode, Heather explores the importance of
When an LGBTQ Child Gets No Support: Steph Vachon's Story of Survival and Reclamation
What happens when someone spends decades surviving instead of truly living?In this deeply moving conversation, Heather sits down with queer figure skater, advocate, father, and podcast host Stef Vachon to talk about shame, bullying, identity, healing, and what it means to finally come home to yourself.Growing up in a small French Canadian town in the 1970s and 80s, Stef endured relentless homophob
When You Get It Wrong With Your LGBTQ Child: A Parent's Guide to Repair and Reconnection
Download Panic to Plan HereWhat if you already got it wrong with your child… or you’re terrified you’ll say the wrong thing next?In this episode of More Human. More Kind., Heather Hester explores two of the biggest fears parents face when supporting LGBTQ+ or questioning teens:“I think I already messed this up.”“What if I say the wrong thing?”You’ll learn why fear often creates distance in parent-
"What If I Say the Wrong Thing?" When Fear Takes Over Conversations With Your Gay Teen
Download Panic to Plan HereWhat if you already got it wrong with your child or you’re terrified you’ll say the wrong thing?In this episode of More Human. More Kind., Heather Hester explores two of the biggest fears parents face when supporting LGBTQ+ or questioning teens:“I think I already messed this up.”“What if I say the wrong thing?”You’ll learn why fear often creates distance in parent-child
Your Silence Is Saying Something: How Parents of LGBTQ Kids Can Break the Cycle in One Small Moment
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What if the most powerful way to support your LGBTQ child isn’t a perfect response, but one honest sentence?In this episode, Heather Hester explores how silence becomes a generational pattern inside families, why speaking up can feel so hard, and how small moments of courage create emotional safety for LGBTQ youth.You’ll lear
The Silence of Shame: How Generational Patterns Harm LGBTQ Kids and How Parents Can Break Them
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What messages did your parents never speak aloud?In this deeply personal episode, Heather Hester explores how generational patterns of shame shape the safety LGBTQ teens feel coming out. Discover how breaking family silence starts with parenting guidance rooted in your own healing, plus research-backed strategies to interrupt
Why Speaking Up Feels So Hard For Parents of Gay and Trans Kids
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What happens when someone misgenders your child and you freeze?In this Friday Reset: The Butterfly Effect episode, Heather Hester gently explores the quiet moments where parents hesitate to speak up for their LGBTQ+ child.The family dinner.The classroom conversation.The passing comment that catches you off guard.You love your
Correcting Misgendering: Allyship Guidance for Parents of LGBTQ Teens
Are you an overwhelmed mom of a gay, lesbian, transgender, or queer teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.What happens in the moment when someone misgenders your child and you don’t speak up?In this epi
Stay Grounded After Tough LGBTQ Conversations: A Reset for Parents and Allies
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world.Have you ever handled a difficult conversation well and still couldn’t shake the feeling afterward?In this Friday Reset episode of More Human. More Kind., Heather Hester offers a grounding space for parents of gay and lesbian kids, allies, and anyone navigating emotionally charged conversations.After a hard interaction, whethe
That Stomach-Drop Text: How Parents of LGBTQ Kids Can Set Boundaries Without Losing the Relationship
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. Have you ever received a message that made your stomach drop, and left you unsure how to respond without hurting the relationship or abandoning yourself?In this episode of More Human. More Kind., Heather Hester speaks directly to parents, LGBTQ allies, and families navigating complex conversations in today’s world.When someon
When Fear Gets Loud, How Do You Parent?
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What if one small shift in how you respond to your child could change how safe they feel with you?After this week’s conversation about fear and how it shows up in our parenting, this Friday Reset offers something simple, but powerful.Most of us don’t need more information, we need something we can actually do in the moment.A
When Good Intentions Damage Allyship: What Parents of LGBTQ Teens Say Wrong
Are you an overwhelmed mom of a gay or lesbian teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Have you ever said, “I just don’t want you to have a hard life,” and meant it with every ounce of love you have?When
Your Child Just Came Out. Before You Do Anything Else, Say This One Sentence.
Join me on SubstackWhat do you say in the moment your child tells you, “I think I’m gay, bi, or trans”… when everything inside you reacts?As a parent, you want to get it right; but when your child opens up about their identity, the pressure to respond perfectly can feel overwhelming. This episode meets you in that exact moment, the fear, the love, the uncertainty, and shows you how to stay grounde
"Mom, I think I'm Gay" - Parents, This Moment is an Opportunity
Join Me on SubstackWhat if the moment your child comes out to you isn’t something to fear, but something sacred?When your child says, “I think I’m gay,” bi, or trans, it can trigger fear, confusion, and urgency to respond the “right” way. But underneath that moment isn’t a problem to solve; it’s your child asking if they are safe, seen, and accepted by you.Understand what your child is really sayi
When Grief Keeps Coming Back: A Gentle Reset for Parents Learning to Carry Loss
Join Me on SubstackWhat if the goal isn’t to “move on” from grief, but to carry it differently?Many of us feel pressure to be “over it” by now, to fix our pain, or to move forward faster. But grief doesn’t work that way. It returns, shifts, and lingers, not because you’re doing it wrong, but because love doesn’t disappear.Learn a healthier, more compassionate way to live with griefRelease the pres
Repair Is Not Fixing: How to Carry Grief Without Letting It Crush You
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What does it actually look like to live with grief… without letting it take you down?In this final episode of the grief series, Heather shares honest, grounded guidance for parents, LGBTQ families, and allies navigating loss, identity, and a complicated world. Drawing from her own experience grieving her sister Corinne and pa
When You Say "Let's Not Tell Anyone Yet," Here's What Your LGBTQ Child Actually Hears
Are you an overwhelmed mom of a gay or lesbian teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.You may have said, “Let’s not tell anyone yet,” believing you were protecting your child.And maybe you were trying to
The Grief No One Talks About: What Parents of LGBTQ Kids Are Really Mourning and Why It's Valid
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. What happens when the grief you carry isn't about losing a person, but about losing the world you thought your child would grow up in?In this second episode of the grief series, Heather goes where most parenting conversations won't: into the tender, often-shamed space of mourning expectations. She explores why parents of LGBT
Your LGBTQ Child Can Feel the Difference Between Support and Correction
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Are you trying to do the right thing for your LGBTQ child by finding them a therapist, but quietly hoping that someone will
What Nobody Tells You About Grief: A Guide for Parents of LGBTQ Kids Carrying More Than One Kind of Loss
Join me on Substack for more tools to stay human in a complicated world. Do you ever feel like you should be "past" your grief by now? Like there's some invisible finish line you haven't reached?On what would have been her sister Corinne's 49th birthday, Heather opens up about the moment that cracked her wide open and why grief doesn't expire, it shape-shifts. In this deeply personal episode, she
Nothing Without a Company: Creating Spaces Where No One Feels Alone
SPECIAL EPISODEIf you’ve ever wondered where you belong or longed for spaces where you can show up fully as yourself then this episode is for you.In this special Podcastathon spotlight, Heather highlights the work of Nothing Without a Company, a Chicago-based nonprofit theater company creating immersive, inclusive storytelling experiences that center LGBTQIA+, trans, gender non-binary, AANHPI, and
Parents of LGBTQ Teens, Have You Ever Prayed "Please Let This Go Away?"
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Have you ever prayed, "God...please let this go away?"For many parents of LGBTQ teens, faith has always been the place they
The First 30 Seconds: Parenting Guidance for LGBTQ Coming Out Conversations
Get Your Coming Out Script GuideAre you an LGBTQ parent or ally who worries about saying the wrong thing when someone comes out as gay, trans, or questioning?When someone says, “Mom, I’m gay,” or “I think I’m trans,” the first 30 seconds matter more than most parents realize.That moment becomes a permanent emotional memory. It shapes trust. It impacts mental health. It defines the tone of your fut
Still Secretly Hoping It's a Phase? What That Quiet Hesitation Is Doing to Your Relationship
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Have you ever quietly hoped that what your child just told you about their identity… might still be a phase?Many parents of
You Can't Go Back: Five Signs Parents of LGBTQ Kids Are Ready to Grow
Are you a parent of an LGBTQ child, noticing that something inside you is shifting even if you’re not ready to admit it yet?Parenting an LGBTQ child doesn’t just change your child’s life; it transforms you.Many parents and allies experience a quiet evolution. You begin noticing gendered language in school forms. You feel tension when someone makes a “joke.” You question faith spaces, friendships,
Parents of LGBTQ Kids: The Biggest Mistake Allies Make When a Child Comes Out (Interview on No Guilt Mom)
The biggest mistake LGBTQ parents and allies make when a child comes out isn’t what you think, and it can quietly damage trust if you don’t catch it early.So many loving parents and allies want to support their LGBTQ child, but fear takes over in real conversations. You worry about saying the wrong thing, offending them, or not doing enough. In today’s media environment, the pressure to “get it ri
Still Replaying How You Reacted When Your Child Came Out? Here's What That Guilt Is Costing You.
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Are you a parent of an LGBTQ teen who is still carrying guilt about how you reacted when your child came out as gay, trans,
Are You a Performative LGBTQ Ally? Here's How to Know.
Get Your Ally Impact Checklist!Are you sure your LGBTQ allyship is creating real impact or just looking supportive on the surface?If you’ve ever bought Pride merch, shared a rainbow post, or wondered whether you’re “doing enough,” you’re not alone. In a culture filled with rainbow logos and marketing campaigns, it’s harder than ever to tell the difference between meaningful support and performativ
Why Parents of LGBTQ Kids Feel So Alone (And How to Break the Isolation Cycle)
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Do you ever scroll social media and wonder why everyone else’s family looks lighter, easier, less complicated than yours?Par
Voice Dysphoria: The Piece of Gender-Affirming Care That Parents of LGBTQ Teens Often Overlook
SPECIAL GUEST EPISODE!Contact Nicole and learn more about Undead VoiceVoice is more than sound.It’s identity.It’s safety.It’s confidence.It’s how we take up space in the world.And yet voice dysphoria is one of the most overlooked and misunderstood parts of gender-affirming care.In this episode, Heather sits down with Nicole Gress (she/they), licensed speech-language pathologist and founder of Unde
Why "I Treat Everyone the Same" Makes LGBTQ People Feel Invisible and What to Say Instead
Get the 60-Second Ally Response Kit!Have you ever said, “I treat everyone the same,” thinking it signaled love only to feel the room shift?In this episode, Heather Hester unpacks one of the most common phrases well-meaning parents and allies use and why it often lands as erasure instead of inclusion.If you’re trying to support your LGBTQ child but sometimes feel unsure what to say, this conversati
Why "Waiting for Things to Get Better" Is Widening the Gap With Your LGBTQ Child
Are you an overwhelmed mom of an LGBTQ+ teen who's feeling lost trying to navigate the coming out process, and wants to let go of shame and embarrassment, as well as build a deeper connection of trust within yourself and your teen? Click here to learn how to work with me 1-1.Have you been telling yourself, “Let’s just give it time,” while the distance between you and your LGBTQ teen quietly grows?
Community Isn't Always the Answer for LGBTQ Teens: What Actually Works When Support Groups Don't Fit
Get your copy of Connected Without Forcing It!As a parent of an LGBTQ teen, are you constantly told that community is the answer? While community can be powerful, it’s not one-size-fits-all.In this episode, Heather Hester unpacks why traditional LGBTQ support spaces sometimes increase anxiety instead of easing it and how well-meaning parents can unintentionally create pressure instead of inclusion
If You're Up at 2am Googling How to Help Your LGBTQ Teen, This Episode Is for You
Download your free guide, From Panic to PlanAre you up at 2AM Googling everything about your LGBTQ teen and somehow feeling more panicked and alone?This episode is for parents who are trying to be a steady LGBTQ ally, but feel stuck in late-night searching that only fuels fear. Heather breaks down why information isn’t bringing relief, how anxiety quietly leaks into your home, and what grounded gu
You're Allowed to Grieve as a Parent of an LGBTQ Child and Here's Why It Actually Helps Your Teen
Grab your copy of Permission to Feel here!Are you silently grieving the future you imagined for your child and feeling ashamed for having those feelings?In this episode, I gently unpack the hidden grief that many parents of LGBTQ youth carry in silence. If you’ve been telling yourself “this shouldn’t be about me,” while secretly struggling with sadness, confusion, or fear, this episode gives you b
Why Fixing Your LGBTQ Child’s Struggles Can Backfire
Let's help you step out of the fixing trap and into a relationship where your child actually wants to come to you.Click HereDo you find yourself trying to “fix” everything for your LGBTQ child only to watch them shut down and pull away?In this episode, I dive into the hidden trap many loving, well-meaning parents fall into: the urge to manage, smooth over, and solve instead of validate and connec
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