Finding Traction: Recovery from Porn
A podcast for those struggling with porn addiction, offering practical steps and hope for recovery. Hosted by a porn recovery coach, it explores strategies to quit porn, overcome addiction, and build a life free from it. Each episode shares personal stories and proven methods to help listeners break free and find lasting change.
Episodes
A Daily Porn Recovery Prayer - Ep. 219
The further along I get in this porn recovery journey, the more I realize that recovery is essentially a daily thing. In this episode I give a daily prayer that can help you focus your mind each day - and it's easy to remember!Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your journey out of porn and towards a be
Porn Recovery by the Numbers - A New Tool - Ep. 218
Are you someone who likes being able to measure things - someone who loves a clear concise way of measuring how you are doing? In this episode Vern outlines a tool that one of his guys developed that gives him the specificity he needs to track how he is doing.Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your jou
Are You the Head of your House? - Ep. 217
There is a debate in Christian circles what the passages mean regarding the man being the "head" of women? In this episode Vern takes that issue and applies it in a different way - to challenge men in their recovery to be the true "head" of their families.Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your journey
Disclosing My Sexual Secrets - A Model - Ep. 216
Last episode we spoke about the importance of becoming historically honest with your wife so that you can build a foundatin of truth and reality going forward. In tihs episode we give some further thoughts to help you see a possible process in walking that out and what to potentially expect.Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week vide
Sexual Betrayal - What If Being Honest Will Blow Up My Marriage? - Ep. 215
Todays episode deals with one of the toughest questions I have faced from guys - "What if being honest with my wife will blow up my marriage?" Becuase I needed coaching in this - I brought in an expert Dr. Barbara Steffens who is an expert in helping women and couples deal with betrayal and trauma. If you are looking for a resource to support your wife as you seek to become more honest - you cou
The #1 Benefit Of My Porn Recovery - Ep. 214
How is it we accomplish anything in our life? - how is it we see God working through us? - the answer is prayer. And the one benefit above all for me in leaving porn has been the ability to pray with confidence! Today we explore that concept through another sad lesson from Vern's automotive life lessons.Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with
Your Porn Recovery Needs An Alternator - Ep. 213
Recently Vern learned a valuable lesson from a car "event" on his trip back from a family vacation. Of course never one to waste a good story, Vern applies what he learned to our recovery and why your porn recovery needs an Alternator?Are you looking for a group of guys to journey out of porn with? Vern leads men weekly with a 52 week video course that will help your journey out of porn and towa
My New Favorite Porn Recovery Quote - (Ep. 212)
I heard a podcast recently that included a quote that I thought "wow - does that ever hold true for us in recovery" Today on finding traction I share that quote - and yes I bury the lead!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device signu
The Odyssey of Porn Recovery - Lessons from the Movie (Ep. 211)
What does Christopher Nolan's retelling of the Greek Tale the Odyssey teach us about the porn recovery journey? In this episode Vern reflects on his recovery thoughts from the movie.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device signup usi
How Porn Addiction Keeps you Stuck in Peter Pan Land (Ep. 210)
Do you want to grow up before you grow old. In this episode my friend and therapist Caleb discuss his journey out of porn and his insights on growing up through the story of Peter Pan.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device signup u
Stop Watching Porn By Rewiring Your Heart: The Psalm 51 Strategy (Ep. 209)
Most everyone who has struggled and fallen when it comes to porn will be familiar and drawn to Psalm 51 - David's Psalm of Confession. In that Psalm David cries out for a new willing heart. In this episode Vern recalls how important that prayer has been to him on his journey out of porn to experience the better things God has for us.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources,
The Path To Porn Freedom Starts With THIS Specific Phone Call - Ep. 208
When I talk to guys about their journey out of porn they often remember how significant it was the first time they reached out to someone for help. Today we talk about that experience and I explain how a phone (zoom) call would look and feel like as you take a step like that.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platf
Stuck in Porn Recovery? Understanding Plateaus and Breakthroughs - Ep. 207
For most guys, the porn recovery journey does not represent a straight line but is more like a series of plateaus and tipping points. In this episode Vern explores why we hit plateaus (resistant points) and how new tipping points can further the sucess we are finding in our recovery.To download a copy of the diagram Vern refers to in this episode signp for the free circle learning app below. If y
Why Your Charlie's Angel is better than any Porn Star - Ep. 206
In this episode Vern explores how porn affects our ability to grow older with the wife of our youth. In case you didn't realize it, you get older every year! Is porn robbing your ability to grow older and still be contented with your wife who is also growing older?If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just
Is Your Porn Recovery Stalling Out? - Ep. 205
It is not uncommon to get off to such a great start in our recovery journey but then find ourselves stalling out or "losing traction". In this episode Vern talks about some ways to get your recovery back on track if that is what you are experiencing.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the followi
How Quitting Porn Leads to Lasting Joy - Ep. 204
Today Vern shares an inspiring couple of bible verses that have recently encouraged him on his recovery journey and makes up his own new verse!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE y
Porn Triggers: How Boredom Can Lead to Relapse - Ep. 203
What do you do when you get bored? What do you do when you want to just "kill some time". In this episode Vern talks about how being unskillful in this area often leads us to negative results and some ways to "redeem this time" (or at least make it less problematic!)If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Ju
See why Porn Addiction is becoming a mainstream Coversation- Ep. 202
When porn is mentioned in media it is often joked about or minimized. Now and again a serious article appears that actually describes the tsunami type effects it is having on people. Today I want to read an article which focuses on these effects - especially in regard to young men.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learnin
What do I Deserve (this Good Friday) - Ep. 201
If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device signup using the link on your web browser BEFORE you download the circle app) - (white circle on a blue background)https://bandofbrothers-care.circle.so/join?invitation_token=84c412c67f81c7a9f
Looking Back at 200 Episodes of Helping Men Quit Porn - Ep. 200
Hard to believe its been 200 Episodes of Finding Traction! In this episode various men share about podcasts and lessons (from the Finding Traction course) that have been helpful in their recovery - here's to the next 200 episodes!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get start
Stop Feeding Your Mental Porn Library: A Key to Porn Recovery - Ep. 199
Are you able to see images in your mind? Do you struggle with fantasy as a result of carrying your own porn library betweeen your ears? In this episode Vern talks about differences between people around these questions and how it effects our strategies of recovery?Here is the link to the TED talk that Vern referenceshttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ojttMNOW6zM&t=1sIf you want to get access to
I Can't Stop Watching Porn - Does that make me a Pervert? - Ep. 198
Do you ever think you may be a pervert or used that term to describe someone else? In this episode Vern explores that term particularly in reference to the describe how big of a role sex plays in your thinking and behavior. A diagram of this talk can be found on the circle learning app under free resources. To access this diagram use the information below.If you want to get access to a host of
Are you a Broken Boy? - with Dr. Patrick Morley - Ep. 197
Many men get into recovery and eventually start asking the question "How did I get here?" One of the things that begins to crop up are questions around their formative years. One of the books that has been so helpful for Vern and the men in his alumni groups is the book "From Broken Boy to Mended Man" Today Vern is thrilled to be able to interview the author of that book - Dr. Patrick Morley.Her
Porn Addiction Recovery: Rewiring Your Sexual Arousal - Ep. 196
In the last episode we talked about the statement that "Arousal is not something that happens to us but something we engage with". In this episode Vern talks about why that sometimes doesn't feel true and how we need to move from passive mode to active mode when it comes to experiencing arousalIf you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Ci
Fuel to Quit Porn - Two Biblical Triplets - Ep. 195
Today I lean on a bit of my bible teaching background to share some insights from the book of Romans - in fact two "triplets" which encourage me that this pathway of recovery of porn is good - not in fact it is REALLY good!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if
15 Years of Freedom from Porn - with Matt Dobscheutz - Ep. 194
One of my recovery heroes (and recovery friends) is Matt Dobschuetz. I recently heard a great episode on porn free radio where he spoke about being porn free for 15 years. I loved it so much I wanted him to come on the podcast and talk a bit more about some of the concepts he shared.Here is the link to the episode on his podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/365-the-one-thing-that-made-1
The Ozempic Effect: What Real Porn Recovery Requires- Ep. 193
Recently I heard some interesting information about the benefits of taking drugs like Ozempic and what happens when you stop. It got me thinking about all sorts of interesting parallels with our recovery journey from embedded porn use.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get
The Two words that can pull you out of a Porn Relapse - Ep. 192
What do people like Bill Buckner, Steve Smith, Scott Norwood, Andres Escobar, Steven Gerrard, and Tyler Loop have in common. They are all professional athletes who made major screwups that cost their team success - in front of millions of people.Most of us won't have that level of public screwups but the question is how do we learn from our mistakes - our screwups - our relapses - in this episdoe
Do this everyday to break free from porn - Ep. 191
As you head into 2026 - rather than looking at the whole year why don’t you start with one day - one day at a time! The following is a simple exercise you can do daily to be proactive in your day and set yourself up for the best day possible!To download the worksheet for this episode follow the instructions for the learning platform circle below. (the worksheet will be found under "Free Resources
Why your porn struggle can get worse in midlife - Ep. 190
There are a number of challenging seasons of life where porn can re- emerge from the corners of our life. One of these seasons is the season of midlife where we begin to re-evaluate (often negatively) some of the decisions we have made and the places we find ourselfs. In this episode Vern talks about his own experience in this season and gives pointers on how to navigate through this seasn and c
What does porn free really mean (and how people fool themselves) - Ep. 189
When a lot of us started out on this porn recovery journey we had a very limited view of what it was to be porn free? In this episode Vern talks about the expanding understanding that he underwent and that a lot of guys go through as they move toward greater freedom in their life.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning
How your lack of purpose keeps you watching porn - Ep. 188
Passion is good - purpose is better. In this episode Vern talks about a change he has made to how people checkin their weeks and why connecting people with their purpose is a better metric than helping (often unsuccessfully) men find something they are passionate about.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.
How to Quit Porn from the Inside Out - Ep. 187
In this episode, Vern is joined by his Australian buddy Matt who talks about inside out recovery.In a desire for a wholistic model of behavior change, it is necessary to recognize that the most sustainable version of change comes from a deep sense of belonging which informs our beliefs. Out of that core, comes deep lasting change that can stand the test of time.If you want to get access to a host
Will a Dopamine Fast help me Quit Porn? - Ep. 186
There is a lot written these days about the role of dopamine in our addictive struggle with porn. One of the books "Dopamnine Nation" talks a lot about dopamine and seems to give some fairly straightword system to hack the system of recovery. In this episode we talk about how this book and a pure "dopamine approach" can be helpful in our recovery and where it presents an incomplete picture in re
Your Guided Tour to Stop Watching Porn - Ep. 185
Last week we popped the baloon that said that the recovery journey is simple or quick. We spoke about how long it takes to break a habit in a sustained way. Today we talk about some of the highlights we will experience on a guided tour away from porn. This guided tour explains the roadblocks we need to overcome, what are the challenges we face, and what are the benefits we will experience along
Quitting Porn - How Long does it take? - Ep. 184
There are a lot of claims on the internet about helping you quite porn in just a few weeks. Sounds great - right? In this episode Vern takes a bit of a deeper dive into the real issues (and the amount of time) that is usually needed to quit a compulsive embedded behavior such as porn.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle lear
How Procrastination Keeps You Watching Porn - Ep. 183
One of the things I have noticed in working with guys who struggle with porn is - - they also struggle with procrastination. In this episode we look at this connection and discuss some simple strategies to overcome compulsive procrastination!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link
Fighting Porn? Learn These Warfare Principles - Ep. 182
The metaphor of war is used a lot in recovery for the reason that it often feels like we are in a battle!! In this episode Vern talks about principles of warfare and applies them to our recovery battle.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobil
The Porn Recovery Journey with Nate Larkin - Ep. 181
One of the forerunners of the porn recovery field is Nate Larken. His book - Samson and the Pirate Monks is a classic read for anybody starting out on this journey. Today I am pleased to have Nate on the podcast as he talks about his recovery journey, missteps along the way, and how he wants the end of his recovery journey to be remembered. He also shares information on the Samson societies tha
Porn Relapses Ripples and Resets - Ep. 180
A relapse is always possible but never inevitable. There are inescapable ripples that follow a relapse but how do we prevent a slip from becoming a slide! In this episode we discuss how to get back on track when we fall off the wagon!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get
Marriage Hacks Pt. 3 - Ep. 179
In this third and final episode of Marriage Hacks - Vern explores some of the ways to explore why you hit a wall on certain topics with you partner as well as the idea of recognizing when you have a filter on that you need to communicate with your spouse. Your marriage is not your recovery but working towards a better marriage can help in reducing the stress and friction in your daily life that o
Has Porn Created a Deep Fake Version of You? - Ep. 178
It seems that deep fakes are everywhere these days. My question for you is this - are you a deep fake? Are you a person with a deep disconnect between the public and private you. In this Episode I talk about how that happens and how to experience the benefits of living a life of integrity.Todays episode is summarized in a diagram that you can find on the Circle learning platform. So...If you wan
Examining a Porn Relapse - the 5 W's - Ep. 177
In a recent television episode of The Paper the new boss teaches his employers what it takes to be a local report. Toward that end he talks about the classic rules for reporting called the 5 W's. In this episode Vern talks about this in helping us learn to be better reporters of our relapse events.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern
Porn Struggles and Sexless Marriages - Ep. 176
Women Please Note: This episode is not mean to shame you if you are struggling with the after effects of the disclosure of your husbands porn use. It is meant to encourage you not remain stuck in your pain, anger and grief and get the help to see your marriage restored to the dream you had when you walked down the aisle. If you are a woman looking for a great organization to help you process th
More Marriage Hacks Pt. 2 - Ep. 175
We had so much fun last time I thought we would do it again. Actually I realized there was a number of marriage tips and hacks that didn't make the last episode so I thought we would do a part 2! Heres to having a great marriage relationship!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link
5 Marriage Hacks Pt. 1 - Ep. 174
Relationships can be hard work - especially maintaining a marriage over the long haul. In this episode Vern shares 5 marriage hacks that can make that challenge be a little bit easier!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST do
I'm Dating - What should I share about my Porn Use? - Ep. 173
What should I tell my girlfriend about my porn history (or other sexual history). Should I hide it? What if honesty will end the relationship? In this episode I talk about why it is important to be honest but also nuance when and how this could be done.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the fo
Welcome Back to Your Journey out of Porn - Ep. 172
So how did your summer go? Vern has been away for the last month and shares somes up and downs from his summer holidays including a recovery lesson that he is working at integrating into his life.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, I invite you to to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile dev
Can Porn Damage Men's Health? Here's What We Know - Ep. 171
It's fun to talk to people outside your circles who dont' necessarily share your experience or assumptions. The following is a conversation I did with Jeremy Longpre from the North Star Podcast around men's health and problematic porn use.The following is a link to the North Star Podcasthttps://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/north-star-podcast/id1660393769If you want to get access to a host of fre
Stop the Porn Addiction Cycle Before It Starts - Ep. 170
Back in Episode 73 I introduced the idea of the Acting Out Cycle using the picture of a Stopwatch. In looking back I felt I could give a more robust explanation of how to actually stop ourselves from just repeating the same cycle over and over. To do this I add a new step - PREEMPT - and share from some of my recent examples how to put this into practice.If you want to get access to a host of fr
Are You Living in Fear of a Relapse? - How to Build Confidence - Ep. 169
It is not uncommon in our early recovery to feel anxious that a next relapse is just around the corner. Is there a way to grow in our confidence as we start out on this journey?If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the cir
Why a Porn Relapse happens When You Are Doing Great - Ep. 168
One of the reasons we are unsuccessful long term in porn recovery is because of some of the ways of thinking we practice. One problematic thing that guys tell themselves is that "they are good" or 'they are strong" which is experientially true at the time. The probem is that we are good (until we are not!)If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern
Can My Porn Use Make me Disappointed in Real Sex? - Ep. 167
What is the difference between real sex and our porn binges? The differences might explain why some people confess that real sex is hard and less exciting than our porn world. In this episode Vern explores that uncomfortable question and how we can grow towards real intimacy with a real person.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle l
One Word That Can Revolutionize your Marriage - Ep. 166
What if positive feelings toward your wife were a powerful motivator to move away from porn. In this episode Vern builds on a recent book he read called "Cherish" by Gary Thomas.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get started. if you are using a mobile device FIRST download the c
Have I Waited Too Long to Fix my Marriage? - Ep. 165
Country songs are known for their - "if only I knew then what I know now" regret songs.In this episode we ask a sobering question - is the door to your marriage closing and share a principle that Vern has practiced and taught for 40 years.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform. Just use the following link to get star
What Set Me Up Porn? (with Tim Fletcher) - Ep. 164
Have you ever wondered what set you up for your struggle with porn? In this interview Vern talks with Tim Fletcher who is an extremely popular Youtube expert on the subject all things trauma and attachement.In addition to Tim Fletchers Youtube Channel you can find some of his helpful information on his website https://www.timfletcher.ca/If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resour
When Porn Crashes Your Marriage (with Barbara Steffens) - Ep. 163
When porn use is disclosed (or found out) in a relationships it often comes with a thudding crash. In this episode expert Barbara Steffens talks through the impact this can have on a woman and steps that both men and women can take in their navigating a path forward.What can we learn from a relapse? In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent rela
Lessons from a Porn Relapse (with Hercule Flambeau) - Ep. 162
What can we learn from a relapse? In this episode one of Vern's coaching clients bravely shares what he learned from a recent relapse in the hopes that it can also be instructive to other listeners. The song at the end can be downloaded in the circle learning platform below...If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.T
More Tools to Use when a Porn Craving Washes Over You - Ep. 161
In this episode Vern goes back to the topic of dealing with a wave of temptation and craving. In this episode he argues that we need to strengthen our understanding of connection and also introduces a couple of "Go To's" that he uses when he is in the middle of experience a Wave.The first reading is based on the Bible App (Psalm 119 - the Message)The second reading can be found here:A Liturgy for
Porn Cravings: How to Ride the Wave Without Giving In - Ep. 160
Do you ever feel that craving hits you like a big wave? In this episode Vern provides hope that the next big wave doesn't need to overwhelm you!If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first
Porn Is Costing You more than you Realize! - Ep. 159
Most of us are tempted to think that our porn use is free. Sure we may not be "paying" for porn but you are paying in ways you many not even realize it. Today we talk about the "hidden costs" of our porn use.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to
Dialing In Your Recovery: The Habits That Help You Stay Porn-Free - Ep. 158
Did you ever start a day feeling "off". Today's podcast is all about "dialling your day" in to maximize the chance of the day going well.If you want to get access to a host of free recovery resources, you need to sign up for Vern's Circle learning platform.This is how sign up for the free circle learning resources Vern has to offer. If privacy is of concern to you - simply use your first name an
Vern's Ten Rules for Life - Ep. 157
This episode is a bit different. One of the benefits of recovery from constantly battling with porn is that you can now start to think more clearly about how you want your life to go. In this episode Vern shares 10 principles he has landed on to guide his thoughts and actions.A summary of these principles is found on the circle learning platform under Free Resources.This is how sign up for the f
The Habits That Lead Back to Porn (Even If They Aren't Porn) - Ep. 156
One of the biggest challenges that is new in the porn recovery area is the new pattern of staying away from porn but engaging in all sorts of porn adjacent behaviors. Sure its not porn but it is just a perpetuation of the same sort of addictive behavior with the same sort of negative results. In this episode Vern challenges us to change the way we look at some of our online behaviors.If you woul
How to Stop Using Porn to Escape Your Emotions - Ep. 155
We spend a lot of time trying to block ourselves from external threats using content filters, removing problematic apps etc. The peskier problem, however, has to do with our emotions. Wherever we go there we are. In this episode Vern unpackages what those problematic emotions are, the way porn promises to meet those emotions and how we can transtion to meeting those real emotional needs in heal
When Porn Punches You In The Face - Ep. 154
What is the actual problems that porn causes men? Wtihout needing to take on the porn industry - I walk through as succintly as I can some of the common side effects that are proving so problematic with porn. So here's to avoiding a punch in the face!A summary of this article is found on my free circle platform.If you would like to get access to a number of free resources that I have I encourage
Do You Yave a Recovery Theme for the Year? - Ep 153
We are starting a brand new group for 2025! This group will consist of 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting January 2025 on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Eastern. If you want more information on how to become part of one of these groups reach out to me at bandofbrothers.care@gmail.com. To access my website - go to https://bandofbrother
Unleash the Man Within with Sathiya Sam - Ep. 152
Today It is my priviledge to introduce a fellow recovery coach. Sathiya Sam has an inspiring story of how to walk free from porn and move towards a larger vision for one's life.Sathiya Sam's podcast is called "Man Within" and his recovery resources can be accessed at https://www.sathiyasam.com/We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding tr
Motorcyles Mouthwash and Magical Thinking - Ep. 151
As we get ready for Christmas - I thought I'd fill our stockings with some random recovery ideas. Yes they are random - but in them hopefully you can find something to avoid being nice (not naughty) this holiday season!We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednesdays at 9 pm. Easte
Faulty Approaches to Quitting Porn (with Matt Dobscheutz) - Ep. 150
Last weeks' episode felt unfinished to me. I thought it would be great to have to have my fellow coach Matt Dobscheutz come on and add his thoughts to the topic of why some guys fail to achieve the recovery success they say they desire. We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the finding traction course. Our next group will be starting on Wednes
These Porn Recovery Methods Are Bound to Fail! - Ep. 149
I have coached guys in porn recovery groups for many years. Over the years I have seen various guys try various things that have proven to be unhelpful in overcoming porn. In today's episode I explore 6 ways that I think that guys (even guys in groups) set themselves up to be unsuccessful in recovery.We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the fi
How Did My Porn Habit Get This Bad? - Ep. 148
When I meet new guys I like to ask them this question "How did porn get embedded in your life?" Over and over again I hear some version of the same story. Today I want to talk about the process about how porn became a problem for you because it provides clues for how we can begin to journey out of it.We are starting new groups all the time for 5-7 men who want to journey together throught the fi
Porn Recovery Talk - Direct from Brazil - Ep. 147
Vern has been down in Brazil working with couples around marriage and men in the area of recovery. Take a listen to some of his thoughts and screwups direct from the land down under (the other land down under)We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a
How to Handle Strong Emotions Without Watching Porn - Ep. 146
November 5th is a big day - its Guy Fawkes Day, Vern's Birthday and yes - the American election. How deal with the big feelings that will follow the election can make us truly vulnerable to relapse. Vern walks through how we navigate these strong emotions.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a be
Every Man Needs a Plan B for Porn Recovery - Ep. 145
There are two types of pathways we can walk in recovery - Plan A is the one we prefer and we have all tried it - unsuccessfully. This episode is about Plan B - and why we end up having to follow this route.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. We have a a group for young guys, a gro
Porn Free Millennial - Ep. 144
A big step of recovery is when you turn around and help guys who are not as far along the journey as you are. Mac is one of the guys I coach and he has created a great podcast that he shares with younger guys - it's called porn free millenial and you can access it here. https://podcasts.apple.com/ca/podcast/porn-free-millennial-podcast/id1688517945On the episode Mac and I discuss how you can comb
How Knowing Your Primal Need Can Help You Quit Porn - Ep. 143
What is the Primal Need which drives your behaviors, informs your fears and causes you to reach for your medicine jar? (porn) In this episode Vern asks the question "If porn is our favorite solution, then what is the primal question we are seeking to answer or problem we are seeking to solve?If you are interested in reading the book, 7 Primal Questions, the author has the first three chapters a
What Quitting Porn Can Do for You - Ep. 142
We all know the things that we want to leave behind - do we have a clear sense of what we want to see grow in our life? In this episode Vern shares the result of a brainstorming session he did with a group of guys around the things they wanted to move toward. Funny thing - they all start with "C".We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walk
The Two Words That Will Keep You Stuck in Porn - Ep. 141
When it comes to living in sustained recovery two of the most problematic words we can utter are the words "What If". Today I unpackage why those two words get us in trouble more often than we realize.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more information on these groups
The Six Dumbest Things I've Heard as a Porn Recovery Coach - Ep. 140
I've heard a number of pretty dumb things in coaching guys. I've even thought and said a few of them myself - the following are six of the dumbest things that I have come across.We are starting new finding traction groups this fall to help 5-7 guys at a time connect around walking away from porn and moving towards a better life. If you want more information on these groups email me at bandofbrot
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