Feminist Wellness
Feminist Wellness explores how nervous system science intersects with the realities of codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing. Host Béa Victoria Albina, a nurse practitioner and Somatic Experiencing practitioner, challenges conventional self-care narratives and introduces the concept of Emotional Outsourcing. The podcast aims to help listeners understand why they feel anxious, depleted, and disconnected from their own needs. It offers insights into breaking free from survival mode and learning to prioritize genuine well-being over performative wellness.
Episodes
Tenderoni Hotline #48: Are You Performing? | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #48: There's this bone-deep fatigue that seeps into you when you've been performing yourself for everyone else instead of living your life for you.It's different from being tired after a busy day. It's the exhaustion that comes from constantly calculating what version of yourself the room needs.Meanwhile, real love doesn't require a costume. No tap dancing required for real, true
Ep #399: If He Wants To, He’d Google: Stop Doing His Emotional Work For Him
#399: What happens when loving someone turns into managing their growth, their choices, and their willingness to change? This week, I’m exploring the way we can end up taking responsibility for someone else’s development, emotional state, and readiness while losing connection with our own needs. We’re talking about the emails I receive from women asking for resources for their husbands, boyfriends
Tenderoni Hotline #47: Are You Living For Everyone Else? | Paperback Book Series
Tenderoni Hotline #47: Ever have that moment where you realize you've been living your entire life for everyone else? You’re not alone, and you’re not broken. You’ve just been emotionally outsourcing.In this book series, I name the pattern, share why it develops, and explain how it shapes everything from your relationships to your sense of self. And I’ll tell you how my book, End Emotional Outsour
Ep #398: My Book Is Here in Paperback: Why I Wrote End Emotional Outsourcing
#398: What if the patterns you’ve been blaming yourself for were actually survival strategies you learned for a reason? This week, I’m celebrating the paperback release of my book, End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist, and People-Pleasing Habits. I’m sharing why I wrote this book, the experiences that led me to create the framework of emotional outsourcing, an
Tenderoni Hotline #46: Why Boundaries Feel So Hard + Why You Keep Procrastinating
Tenderoni Hotline #46: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.In today’s episode, we’re exploring why setting boundaries can feel so hard, and why guilt often floods in after you finally speak your truth. We’ll talk abou
Ep #397: Catharsis Is Cute. Integration Changes Your Life.
#397: What happens after the breakthrough? After the ceremony, the therapy session, the retreat, or the moment where everything suddenly makes sense? Why do we sometimes return to the same patterns even after something profound has opened? This week, I explore the difference between catharsis and integration, and why the peak experiences that create possibility are not the same thing as the daily
Tenderoni Hotline #45: Nervous System Regulation Tips + How to Stop Losing Yourself in Others’ Needs
Tenderoni Hotline #45: In this episode, we’re diving into how to stop emotional outsourcing, that habit of looking outside yourself for safety, belonging, and worth, and start reclaiming those from within. I’ll share how to recognize when you’re losing yourself in other people’s needs, plus simple, science-backed nervous system regulation tools to help you catch dysregulation before it hits a 10.T
Ep #396: How to Stop Running From Your Feelings
#396: What if your feelings aren’t something to control, fix, or get rid of, but something trying to guide you back to yourself? This week, I explore what it really means to stop running from your feelings and why so many of us have learned to push our emotions down, power through, or disconnect from what’s happening inside. We look at how our nervous systems, social conditioning, and past experie
Tenderoni Hotline #44: Why You Get Triggered When Someone Says “Calm Down” + Why Your Body Feels Sick Before a Call
Tenderoni Hotline #44: Hello, my love. If you’ve ever been told to “calm down” and felt your anger spike instead of settle, or found yourself feeling anxious, nauseous, or completely overwhelmed at the thought of making a simple phone call, you are so not alone.In this episode, we gently unpack what is really happening in your body in those moments. We explore why “calm down” can feel so deeply in
Ep #395: Suffering: The Second Arrow You Don’t Have to Shoot
#395: What if the pain you’re experiencing is real, but the suffering you’re carrying on top of it is something you can choose to put down? This week, I explore the Buddhist concept of the second arrow and how we often add to our own suffering through self-blame, judgment, and the stories we create about the painful things that happen in our lives. We look at the difference between honoring our pa
Tenderoni Hotline #43: Why People Get Defensive About Your Feelings + What Emotional Outsourcing Really Means
Tenderoni Hotline #43: Hello my love! Welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our cozy corner of the Feminist Wellness podcast where I answer your most tender, honest, and heartfelt questions about healing, self-trust, and nervous system care.In today’s episode, we’re exploring what happens when you finally find the courage to speak your truth, only to be met with defensiveness, blame, or long expl
Ep #394: Self-Compassion: How to Stop Beating Up Your Past Self
#394: What if the thing keeping you stuck isn’t your past choices, but the way you continue to judge yourself for making them? This week, I explore why self-compassion is such a powerful part of real change and why beating yourself up for who you used to be only creates more shame, disconnection, and stuckness. We dive into how we often reject the version of ourselves who learned survival strategi
Tenderoni Hotline #42: What To Do If Someone Ignores Your Boundary + How To Get Out Of The Victim Mindset
Tenderoni Hotline #42: What happens when you finally set a boundary you've been terrified to say out loud, only to have someone ignore it completely? And how do you know when you're stuck in a victim mindset that's keeping you from creating the life and relationships you want?In this episode, I answer two listener questions about boundaries, accountability, and nervous system healing.First, we exp
Ep #393: People Pleasing: What Keeping Others Happy Costs You
#393: People pleasing can look like compassion, generosity, and care, but what happens when it comes at the cost of your own needs? This week, I dive into why people pleasing happens, how it becomes a pattern that shapes our relationships and sense of self, and why it can leave us feeling disconnected, resentful, and overwhelmed. I explore how these habits were often brilliant survival strategies
Tenderoni Hotline #41: How to Stop People Pleasing Habits + Nervous System Healing for CPTSD
Tenderoni Hotline #41: If you know you’re a people pleaser but cannot seem to stop, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline, I answer two listener questions that go straight to the heart of emotional outsourcing and nervous system healing.First: “I know I’m a people pleaser. How do I stop?” We explore why people pleasing is not a personality flaw or lack of boundaries. It is a nervous s
Ep #392: Ritual vs. Routine: Why Meaning Matters More Than Productivity
#392: Have you ever wondered why routines feel impossible to maintain, even when you know they’re supposed to help you? What if the problem isn’t your discipline, motivation, or ability to be consistent, but the way you’ve been taught to structure your life? This week, I explore the difference between ritual vs. routine and why ritual may be a more supportive framework for brains and nervous syste
Ep #391: How to Stop Self-Abandoning Without Becoming a Jerk
#391: This week, I explore the question so many of us struggle with: how do we stop overextending ourselves and self-abandoning… without losing the parts of ourselves that genuinely love supporting others? Tune in this week to learn how to recognize when you’re giving from a place of genuine care versus fear, obligation, or a need to prove your worth. I’ll guide you through understanding how your
Tenderoni Hotline #40: Are You Ready for Real Love If You're Still Healing + Why focusing on yourself is not selfishness
Tenderoni Hotline #40: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tender Hotline, the soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most intimate and layered questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.In this episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that so many emotionally outsourced folks grapple with: Do I have to fully
Ep #390: When Helping Hurts: Codependent Habits in the Healing Professions
#390: Have you always been the person who knows how to help? The one who notices everyone else’s needs, steps in quickly, and feels responsible for making things better? In this episode, I explore why so many people in healing professions struggle with exhaustion, over-functioning, and self-abandonment. We look at how becoming “the helper” often starts long before your career, and how those early
Ep #389: Failure Is Your Best Friend: How to Learn, Grow, and Keep Going
#389: Have you ever felt like failure defines you? Like missing a goal, making a mistake, or falling short is proof that you’re broken or incapable? In this episode, I explore what failure really is and how our interpretation of it shapes whether we get stuck or grow. Drawing on my own experiences, from life coaching to ceramics, I explore how the stories we tell ourselves after failure can either
Tenderoni Hotline #39: Why You Feel Off After Talking to Your Mom + Why You Pull Your Hair Without Realizing + Why You Can’t Stay Present
Tenderoni Hotline #39: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even w
Ep #388: A Guide to Healthier Self-Talk & the Power of Your Mind
#388: Do you ever notice how the way you talk to yourself shapes everything - your mood, your decisions, and how you show up in the world? Join me today to learn how to notice your habitual self-talk, pause to observe it, and begin shifting it with intention. I guide you through understanding the power of your “second brain” and how old thought patterns shape your feelings and actions. We’ll al
Ep #387: Perfectionism: From A+ Pressure to B+ Energy
#387: Are you exhausted by the endless drive to be perfect? Do you find yourself constantly overthinking, overproducing, or feeling like nothing you do is ever enough? This week, I dive into the patterns behind perfectionism and why striving for flawless results can keep you stuck. We’ll explore how perfectionism shows up in your daily life - from over-preparing and overexplaining to people-pleas
Tenderoni Hotline #38: The Hidden Link Between Chronic Pain, Trauma & People Pleasing with Nicole Sachs
Tenderoni Hotline #38: What if chronic pain, anxiety, burnout, and people pleasing all stem from the same underlying pattern?In this episode, I sit down with bestselling author, psychotherapist, and mind-body medicine expert Nicole Sachs to explore the hidden connection between trauma, the nervous system, and what I call emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing is the habit of looking outside
Ep #386: Wants and Needs: How to Know What Matters Most to You
#386: Do you ever find yourself giving to others while quietly wondering if your own needs are being met? Are you unsure how to identify what you truly want versus what you think you should want? In this episode, I explore the often overlooked patterns that make it hard to distinguish your genuine wants and needs from the expectations of those around you. By the end of this episode, you’ll underst
Ep #385: The Shifting Sands of Confidence
#385: Do you feel like your confidence vanished when the structure, role, or life you relied on disappeared? Have you ever wondered why you feel shaky, uncertain, or like a stranger to yourself after major life transitions? This week, I explore what happens to our confidence after a rupture and how to rebuild it in a way that is truly yours. I dive into the difference between borrowed confidence
Tenderoni Hotline #37: Why You Keep Wanting Closure from Your Ex + Why You Constantly Ask for Reassurance in Your Relationship
Tenderoni Hotline #37: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust.In today’s episode, we’re diving into two deeply relatable questions that so many of us carry quietly. First, what’s really going on when you can
Ep #384: The Truth About Nervous System Reset
#384: Do you ever feel like your nervous system is on autopilot, constantly stuck in survival mode, and that a quick "reset" could somehow erase all your stress and trauma? Tune in this week as I unpack why there is no magic button to instantly reset your nervous system, and why chasing one might actually make things worse. We dive into what your nervous system is really doing when it reacts to
Ep #383: Role Confusion: The Overwhelm You Didn't Know You Signed Up For
#383: Ever feel like the roles in your life - partner, parent, friend, employee - are colliding in ways that leave you exhausted and unsure of who you are supposed to be? In this episode, I’m unpacking the subtle and pervasive experience of role confusion and how it can sneak into your life without you even realizing it. We explore how taking on others’ expectations, trying to manage everyone’s e
Tenderoni Hotline #36: Why I Call You “My Love” (And Why I'm Not Stopping)
Tenderoni Hotline #36: A listener recently wrote in with a request: please stop calling your audience "my love/my beauty."In this episode, I respond to that message and explore the deeper questions underneath it. Why do terms of endearment feel comforting to some people and uncomfortable to others? What happens when trauma teaches us that closeness, care, or tenderness are things to be wary of? A
Ep #382: Self-Compassion: Radical Kindness for Your Nervous System
#382: Do you find yourself stuck in the same emotional loops, beating yourself up when things don’t go as planned, or folding around boundaries because the perfectionist story in your mind says you should? This week, we’re exploring how real self-compassion helps you stay with yourself in uncomfortable moments without spiraling, shutting down, or reverting to old habits. I also share how dead-end
Ep #381: The People-Pleasing Trap: Keeping Everyone Happy but You
#381: What happens when you stop people pleasing and the people around you are no longer pleased? If the thought of setting boundaries, speaking up, or disappointing someone makes your nervous system panic, this episode will hit home. I explore why so many of us stay stuck in over-functioning, over-giving, and self-abandonment, and why growth often comes with discomfort from the people who benefi
Tenderoni Hotline #35: The Hidden Connection Between Food & Nervous System Healing with Ali Shapiro
Tenderoni Hotline #35: What if your relationship with food has far less to do with willpower and far more to do with your nervous system?In this deeply thoughtful and delightfully nerdy conversation, I’m joined by Ali Shapiro, MS, CHHC, holistic nutritionist, creator of the Truce with Food method, host of the The Truce with Food podcast (formerly The Insatiable podcast), and 33-year cancer survivo
Ep #380: How to Know If You’re Ready for Coaching and Real Change
#380: Are you actually ready for coaching, or do you just want your life to feel different? In this episode, I unpack the difference between wanting change and being truly available for change. If you’ve been reading the books, listening to the podcasts, and trying to heal your codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing habits but still feel stuck in the same emotional patterns, this conversa
Tenderoni Hotline #34: How Do You Deal With Someone Who Always Plays the Victim?
Tenderoni Hotline #34: What do you do when every boundary, request, or honest conversation somehow gets turned back around on you?In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore victim mindset dynamics in relationships and the exhausting emotional loops they create, especially for folks healing codependency, people pleasing, and emotional outsourcing.This conversation unpacks what happens when someo
Ep #379: How to Apologize Without Shame, Blame, or Guilt
Why do apologies feel so vulnerable, so loaded, and sometimes almost impossible to give sincerely? In this first episode of my new series, The Work, I unpack the emotional outsourcing habits that shape the way we approach apologies, responsibility, defensiveness, shame, and conflict.You’ll learn the difference between intent and impact, why “I’m sorry but…” disconnects instead of repairs, and how
Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why Am I Always in Fight Mode? + Learning to Love Safely After Trauma
Tenderoni Hotline #33: Why do some people default to fight mode instead of people-pleasing? And can someone with developmental trauma actually learn to feel safe in love?In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the hidden relationship between emotional outsourcing, chronic nervous system activation, and the fight response. If you’ve ever felt constantly braced, reactive, angry, burnt out, or
Ep #378: Anger Catharsis BS: Why Your Rage Room Visit Isn't Healing You
#378: Are you tired of being told to "just let it out" when you're feeling furious, only to find the rage is still there once the dust settles? We’ve been sold a story that human emotions work like a plumbing system - that if we don't discharge the pressure, we’ll eventually explode. But what if the very tools we’re using to "heal" are actually just teaching our bodies to stay stuck? In this epis
Tenderoni Hotline #32: What Somatic Work Did to Our Anxiety, Boundaries & Self-Worth
My love, what actually happens when you stop outsourcing your worth and start working with your nervous system?In this episode, Rowan and Antonina share their experience inside The Somatic Studio, where they completed a 12 week deep dive into somatic work and nervous system healing. This is a grounded, honest conversation about what shifts when you begin regulating your body, building self trust,
Ep #377: The Story of Overwhelm
#377: What if saying “I’m overwhelmed” is sometimes about more than just naming your exhaustion? If you’ve been living in chronic overdrive, collapsing under endless demands, or feeling trapped between doing too much and shutting down completely, this episode invites you to look beneath the surface of overwhelm itself. In this episode, I unpack how overwhelm is not only a real nervous system stat
Tenderoni Hotline #31: How to Release Suppressed Anger + Stop People-Pleasing at Work
Tenderoni Hotline #31: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of The Feminist Wellness Podcast, where I answer your most heartfelt questions about healing, nervous system care, and coming home to yourself.In today’s episode, we’re answering two beautiful and important questions from our community. First, we’re talking about what to do with a lifetime
Ep #376: How to Assess if Your Relationships Truly Serve You
#376: Have you ever found yourself staying in a relationship out of obligation, fear, or guilt… only to feel exhausted and unfulfilled? If you’ve struggled to assess whether a relationship is truly serving you or draining you, this episode is for you. For recovering emotional outsourcers, the idea of reassessing our connections can feel like an act of betrayal or failure. But in this episode, I’m
Tenderoni Hotline #30: Emotional Guardedness Explained + How to Feel Safe Without Safe People
Tenderoni Hotline #30: If you have ever been called too independent, emotionally guarded, or hard to get close to, this episode is for you. Because hyper-independence is not just a personality trait. It is often a nervous system strategy that formed to keep you safe.In this Tenderoni Hotline, we explore a quieter, often overlooked side of emotional outsourcing. Not the people pleasing or overgivin
Ep #375: Reclaim Rest: The 5 Hidden Types of Rest You Need (Part 3)
#375: Why does reclaiming rest still feel so uncomfortable, even when you know you need it? If you’ve ever found yourself filling every quiet moment, pushing through exhaustion, or feeling guilty the second you slow down, this episode will hit close to home. In this episode, I explore rest beyond the basics and introduce five less obvious but deeply needed types of rest that your nervous system m
Tenderoni Hotline #29: Can You Be Codependent Without Trauma? + Why Noise Triggers Your Nervous System
Tenderoni Hotline #29: Can you be codependent without trauma, and why does something as small as noise send your nervous system into overdrive? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we explore the reality that you do not need a dramatic or chaotic backstory to learn self-abandonment. Many of us grew up in loving, “normal” homes and still developed patterns of people-pleasing, overthinking, and emotio
Ep #374: Self-Resourcing: The Path to True Interdependence (Part 2)
#374: What if the reason your relationships feel so intense, fragile, or all-consuming isn’t because you care too much… but because your sense of safety is tied to them? And what if self-resourcing could actually deepen connections instead of taking them away?In this episode, I build on our conversation about self-resourcing and answer the big question so many people have: Does learning to have yo
Tenderoni Hotline #28: What to Do When Family Triggers Old Patterns
Tenderoni Hotline #28: You’ve done the work. You’ve built self-awareness, learned how to regulate your nervous system, and started to trust yourself more deeply. Then you go home and suddenly you’re people-pleasing, over-functioning, and second-guessing everything again. If that feels familiar, this episode is for you.In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we’re talking about what actually happens whe
Ep #373: Self-Resourcing: What It Is & Why It’s Key to Healing Emotional Outsourcing (Part 1)
#373: What if learning to take care of yourself didn’t make you more alone, but actually helped you feel more connected?In this episode, I unpack what self-resourcing really means beyond the buzzword and how it works in your nervous system. I explore why so many folks worry that focusing on themselves will lead to isolation, and why the opposite is actually true.Tune in this week to learn how self
Tenderoni Hotline #27: Why You Get Triggered When Someone Says “Calm Down” + Why Your Body Feels Sick Before a Call
Tenderoni Hotline #27: Hello, my love. If you’ve ever been told to “calm down” and felt your anger spike instead of settle, or found yourself feeling anxious, nauseous, or completely overwhelmed at the thought of making a simple phone call, you are so not alone.In this episode, we gently unpack what is really happening in your body in those moments. We explore why “calm down” can feel so deeply in
Ep #372: Reclaim Rest: How to Rest When It Feels Unsafe (Part 2)
#372: What if the reason rest feels so hard isn’t because you’re bad at it, but because your body has learned that rest is unsafe? What if slowing down doesn’t feel peaceful, but instead sparks anxiety, guilt, or that crawling-out-of-your-skin feeling? In this episode, I get into the real, practical side of rest, especially for those of us whose nervous systems have been shaped by emotional outsou
Tenderoni Hotline #26: Emotional Outsourcing in Relationships: When Both People Do It + Reaching For Food After Healing
Tenderoni Hotline #26: What happens when both people in a relationship are looking to each other for safety, reassurance, and a sense of “we’re okay”… but neither nervous system can consistently provide it? In this tender and honest episode, we explore the often unspoken dynamic of mutual emotional outsourcing, and why it can leave even the most loving relationships feeling intense, fragile, or st
Ep #371: Reclaim Rest: The Link Between Rest and Emotional Outsourcing (Part 1)
#371: Do you feel like you’re constantly running on empty, struggling to find space for rest while the world around you keeps demanding more? It’s a common experience, and it’s often the result of emotional outsourcing. But what if rest could be the key to reclaiming your energy, your values, and your connection to what matters most? In this episode, I'm diving into the concept of rest as an essen
Tenderoni Hotline #25: Paradoxical Nervous System Reactions + ADHD in Mindfulness
Tenderoni Hotline #25: Have you ever found yourself laughing when you’re actually scared, suddenly exhausted in the middle of anxiety, or walking away from a moment thinking you’re “fine” only to realize hours later that you were anything but? In this Tenderoni Hotline episode, we’re diving into those paradoxical nervous system moments, the ones that feel confusing, mistimed, or just plain off, an
Ep #370: Caring for the Long Haul: End Emotional Outsourcing to Live Your Values (Part 4)
#370: What does it actually take to stay engaged for the long haul when the world feels overwhelming and the crises keep coming? Showing up once is one thing, but sustaining care and action over months and years is an entirely different challenge. In this episode, I close out our series on how emotional outsourcing shapes our political engagement. We’ve talked about freeze, rage, and depletion. N
Tenderoni Hotline #24: Grief Over Losing Objects + Injustice In The Workspace
Tenderoni Hotline #24: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, we’re diving into two thoughtful questions about grief, empathy, and emotional boundaries, and what it means to care deeply wi
Ep #369: Reclaim Your Political Energy: End Emotional Outsourcing to Live Your Values (Part 3)
#369: Do you care deeply about what’s happening in the world, yet feel too exhausted to show up the way you wish you could? What if the problem isn’t that you don’t care enough, but that it’s time to reclaim your political energy? In this episode, I talk about the third pattern in this series: depletion. While some of us freeze and others burn hot with rage, many of us are simply running on empty
Tenderoni Hotline #23: How to Stop People Pleasing Habits + Nervous System Healing for CPTSD
Tenderoni Hotline #23: If you know you’re a people pleaser but cannot seem to stop, this episode is for you. In this Tenderoni Hotline, I answer two listener questions that go straight to the heart of emotional outsourcing and nervous system healing. First: “I know I’m a people pleaser. How do I stop?” We explore why people pleasing is not a personality flaw or lack of boundaries. It is a nervous
Ep #368: Channeling Rage for Liberation: End Emotional Outsourcing to Live Your Values (Part 2)
#368: Are you the one who’s not frozen… but furious? The one whose rage erupts at the dinner table, at work, in organizing spaces, because you are done watching injustice slide by? What if your rage is valid, but not always effective? In this episode, I talk directly to the firebrands. I break down what happens in your nervous system when rage takes over, how sympathetic activation shuts down stra
Tenderoni Hotline #22: Grounding vs. Orienting: What to Do When a Space Isn’t Actually Safe + Why High-Achieving Folks Still Seek Approval
Tenderoni Hotline #22: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. Today’s episode holds two powerful questions. First, how do you use grounding and orienting when a space is not actually safe? What does nervous
Ep #367: Unfreeze for Collective Liberation: End Emotional Outsourcing to Live Your Values (Part 1)
#367: Have you ever felt that deep yes in your body about speaking up, protesting, or naming injustice… and then frozen the moment someone showed disapproval? What if learning to unfreeze isn’t just about personal healing, but essential for collective liberation?In this episode, I explore how emotional outsourcing keeps us frozen when our values are calling us forward. I break down what happens in
Tenderoni Hotline #21: Are Emotions Really Stored in the Hips?
Tenderoni Hotline #21: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast, where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re unpacking a question that comes up all the time in somatic spaces, yoga classes, and Instagram infographics: Are emoti
Ep #366: How Projection Is Quietly Destroying Your Relationships (And What to Do About It)
#366: Ever been certain someone was mad at you, disappointed in you, or about to leave you… only to find out you were completely wrong? What if that certainty wasn’t intuition at all, but projection?In this episode, I unpack projection through the lens of emotional outsourcing. I walk you through how your nervous system takes fear, shame, anger, or need and unconsciously assigns it to someone else
Tenderoni Hotline #20: From Emotional Outsourcing to Embodied Healing: Rose’s Anchored Journey
Tenderoni Hotline #20: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the luminous and deeply grounded Rose Zealand, financial planner, death doula, and a radiant graduate of the Anchored program.In this powerful and heartfelt conversation, Rose shares her journey from emotional flashbacks, perfectionism, and the chronic belief that she was “broken”… to a place of
Ep #365: A Life with Default “Sorry”
#365: Have you ever noticed how often the word sorry slips out of your mouth before you’ve even decided whether you’ve done anything wrong?Sorry for asking. Sorry for taking up space. Sorry for having a feeling. Sorry for existing. If that reflex feels familiar, this episode is for you.This week, I explore why default sorry has nothing to do with politeness and everything to do with a nervous syst
Tenderoni Hotline #19: How to Respond When Someone Ignores Your Boundaries + Why Crying Is Good for Your Nervous System
Tenderoni Hotline #19: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re moving through three questions that speak right to the heart of healing for emotionally outsourced humans: First: What
Ep #364: Anchored: Healing Emotional Outsourcing in Community with Susan Klunder
#364: In this episode, I’m joined by Susan Klunder, a recent graduate of Anchored, my six-month coaching and somatics program. Susan shares her lived experience of moving from chronic people-pleasing, perfectionism, and emotional outsourcing into a life that feels grounded, joyful, and genuinely her own. We talk about what it was like before Anchored, when she had done years of therapy, coaching,
Tenderoni Hotline #18: Are You Ready for Real Love If You're Still Healing + Why focusing on yourself is not selfishness
Tenderoni Hotline #18: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tender Hotline, the soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most intimate and layered questions about healing, nervous system care, and reclaiming your self-trust. In this episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that so many emotionally outsourced folks grapple with: Do I have to fully
Ep #363: Emotional Outsourcing: What It Is, Why It Formed, and Why It’s So Hard to Change
#363: In this episode, I’m revisiting one of the most shared conversations on the show because it explains something so many people feel but can’t quite name: emotional outsourcing. Emotional outsourcing forms in early relationships, gets reinforced by family systems and culture, and persists even when you intellectually understand it. This pattern lives in the body, not just the mind, which is w
Tenderoni Hotline #17: From Overfunctioning to Freedom: Healing in Anchored with Busayo Ayodele
Tenderoni Hotline #17: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today, I’m joined by the brilliant and multi-passionate Busayo Ayodele, a lawyer, mother, writer, and radiant force of nature. Busayo is a graduate of the Anchored program, and in this deeply inspiring conversation, she shares her journey from emotional overwhelm, perfectionism, and constant overfunctioning... to sel
Ep #362: Why Nervous System Healing Isn’t Meant to Be Done Alone
#362: Have you ever thought, “I should be able to figure this out on my own”? Maybe it's about healing old patterns, setting boundaries, or finally stopping the people-pleasing that's exhausting you. Here's what I've learned after years of doing this work: That voice telling you to go it alone? It's not wisdom talking. It's the same pattern that taught you your needs were too much in the first pla
Tenderoni Hotline #16: Why does healing emotional outsourcing matter + How to actually make space for rest
Tenderoni Hotline #16: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, we’re exploring questions that sit at the heart of healing work, especially for those of us socialized to over-function, peopl
Ep #361: You Don’t Need Trauma to Have Codependent, Perfectionist, or People-Pleasing Habits
#361: Have you ever caught yourself thinking, “I don't have any real trauma, so why do I still struggle with people-pleasing?”Many people hear about emotional outsourcing and immediately disqualify themselves from the conversation because they didn't have what they consider a "bad enough" childhood. In this episode, I want to speak directly to those folks who recognize codependent, perfectionist,
Tenderoni Hotline #15: Breaking Free from People-Pleasing Habits: Monica Silva’s Journey with Anchored
Tenderoni Hotline #15: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is tender, powerful, and so deeply human. It is a conversation about breaking free from people pleasing, perfectionism, and codependent habits, and what it truly means to come home to yourself. I’m joined by the radiant Monica Silva, a nurse, artist, parent, and graduate of the Anchored program. In th
Ep #360: Who Are You Without Emotional Outsourcing Habits?
#360: This week, I'm diving into something that came up with a client recently who said, “Listen, I want to stop emotional outsourcing, but there is a part of me that feels really scared. Because I've been doing this my whole life and I'm realizing I don't really know who I am without these habits.” And wow, does that make so much sense.Join me on this episode as I paint you a picture of what's ac
Tenderoni Hotline #14: Why You Feel Off After Talking to Your Mom + Why You Pull Your Hair Without Realizing + Why You Can’t Stay Present
Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, our soft and spacious corner of the Feminist Wellness Podcast where we explore your most tender questions about healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself. In today’s episode, we’re diving into three powerful questions that illuminate just how deeply our nervous systems are wired to protect us, even when those protections
Ep #359: Values-Based Living: The Alternative to New Year’s Resolutions
#359: Have you been taught that your safety, belonging, and love were conditional? That they could only be earned by contorting yourself into someone else's idea of enough?This week, I’m inviting you to step away from the pressure of resolutions and into a different kind of conversation for the new year. One that's about reclaiming the parts of you that have been quietly set aside. The parts of yo
Tenderoni Hotline #13: My New Year's Wish For You
Tenderoni Hotline #13: Hello my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline, the segment where we explore the soft and spacious path of healing, nervous system care, and returning home to yourself.In today’s episode, I’m offering you a different kind of New Year’s message. Not one about resolutions or becoming a better version of yourself, but one about remembering who you already are. This ep
Ep #358: The Best of Feminist Wellness: Emotional Liberation, Somatic Wisdom, and Collective Care
#358: This week, we're stepping into the winter solstice with a special gift - a collection of powerful moments from past episodes that capture the heart of what Feminist Wellness is all about. Whether you're celebrating the holidays, marking Yule, or simply taking a breath in this midwinter moment, this episode invites you to pause and come home to yourself through what I call a kitten step
Tenderoni Hotline #12: The Truth About Perimenopause No One Told You With Mariza Snyder
Tenderoni Hotline #12: Hello, my love, and welcome back to the Tenderoni Hotline. Today’s episode is a true gift, a clarifying, empowering, and deeply nerdy deep dive into all things perimenopause, hormones, and how to actually get the support you deserve.I’m joined by my dear friend and longtime women’s health advocate, Mariza Snyder, for a conversation that every midlife woman (and every clinici
Ep #357: Returning to Ritual: Reclaiming Ourselves on the Winter Solstice
#357: How much time do you spend managing other people's emotions? You know what I mean – smoothing over conflict at family dinners, tiptoeing around your partner's mood, or endlessly reshuffling your schedule for coworkers. It's exhausting. But what if reclaiming your energy could be as simple as lighting a candle?I know it sounds too easy. Maybe even a little witchy woo. But here's the truth: ri
Recommended
Booked, Blonde & Busy w/ Olivia Ponton
McKinsey on Consumer and Retail
megahired.com
Hard Knocks Podcast
Effective Weight Loss for Moms | High protein, Strength Training, Lose Weight, Meal Planning, Fat Loss, Healthy Habits
The Human-Animal Connection - Pet Life Radio Original
Infinite Health with Dr. Arasi Maran
The Daily
World News Tonight with David Muir
English Vocabulary Help
The Joe Rogan Experience
TED Talks Daily
