Not Your Therapist
Not Your Therapist is a mental health podcast hosted by licensed therapist Kayla Reilly. It offers down-to-earth, no-BS conversations about stress, relationships, and personal growth. Episodes cover anxiety, toxic patterns, boundaries, and balance with practical tools and relatable insights. The show avoids therapy jargon and focuses on what actually works for everyday life.
Episodes
“That Never Happened”: When Family Minimizes Your Pain (Part 2)
Send us Fan MailSo you’ve realized your family is dysfunctional. You’ve started recognizing the guilt trips, minimizing, gaslighting, and roles you were expected to play.Now what the hell do you do with that information?In Part 2 of my conversation with Christine Giarrizzo—journalist, mom, blogger, and host of the Momming as a Millennial podcast—we keep digging into what happens when you start hea
“That Never Happened”: When Family Minimizes Your Pain (Part 1)
Send us Fan MailWhat happens when the people who hurt you insist it “wasn’t that bad”—or straight-up tell you it never happened?In Part 1 of this special two-part episode of Not Your Therapist, I’m joined by Christine Giarrizzo, journalist, mom, blogger, and host of the Momming as a Millennial podcast, for a conversation about what it’s like to heal from a dysfunctional family when the people arou
Is It Guilt… or Is It Your Childhood Talking?
Send us Fan MailDo you feel guilty every time you set a boundary? Say no? Choose yourself? Disappoint someone?You might not actually be experiencing healthy guilt—you might be experiencing the guilt you were conditioned to feel growing up in a dysfunctional family.In this episode, I'm breaking down the difference between healthy guilt and childhood guilt, why emotionally immature parents ofte
The Hidden Damage of the Enabling Parent
Send us Fan MailEveryone talks about the narcissistic parent, emotionally immature parent, or toxic family member. But what about the parent who stood by and did nothing?In this episode, I'm unpacking the role of the enabler in dysfunctional families, why the "nice parent" often causes more confusion than the abusive one, and why so many adult children stay stuck waiting for that pa
3 Ways to Become a Calmer Parent (Without Becoming a Permissive One)
Send us Fan MailAre you trying to break generational cycles but still find yourself losing your patience with your kids?If you've ever yelled, felt guilty, and immediately thought, "I'm turning into my parents," you're not alone.In this episode, I'm sharing three practical ways to become a calmer parent without becoming permissive. We'll talk about emotional regu
One Easy Habit That Can Improve Your Marriage
Send us Fan MailWant to know one of the biggest mistakes couples make during conflict?They assume they know why their partner did something instead of getting curious.As a therapist, I've seen this one communication habit completely change the way couples argue. Most relationship fights aren't just about dirty dishes, forgotten texts, or who's picking up the kids—they're about
How to Stop Living Around Everyone Else's Feelings
Send us Fan MailDo you feel responsible for everyone else's emotions?Do you change your mood based on your partner's mood? Walk on eggshells around your parents? Feel guilty when someone is disappointed in you? Constantly scan the room to make sure everyone else is okay?If so, you might still be living by the survival rules you learned in childhood.In this episode, I explain why adult ch
The Biggest Mistake People Make When Setting Boundaries
Send us Fan MailThink boundaries are all about finding the perfect script? Nope.One of the biggest mistakes I see people make is believing boundaries are supposed to make other people change. That's not a boundary—that's a wish.If you've ever overexplained yourself, felt guilty after saying no, or wondered why your boundaries "never work," this episode is for you. I'm
The Black Sheep: Why You've Always Felt Like You Didn't Belong in Your Family
Send us Fan MailHave you always felt like the black sheep of your family?Like no matter what you do... you just don't fit in?Maybe you've been called too sensitive, too emotional, too dramatic, or too difficult. Maybe you're the one who questions unhealthy family dynamics while everyone else acts like nothing is wrong. Or maybe you've spent your entire life wondering, "Why
Sibling Abuse Isn't Just a Sibling Problem (The Parent's Role No One Talks About)
Send us Fan MailYour sibling may have hurt you... but where were the adults?We normalize sibling abuse all the time."That's just brothers.""Sisters fight.""Stop tattling.""Be the bigger person."But what happens when it wasn't just normal sibling conflict?What if your sibling constantly bullied, humiliated, manipulated, intimidated, or even physical
What Is Complex PTSD? (And Why So Many Adult Children Don't Realize They Have It)
Send us Fan MailThink PTSD only happens to soldiers or people who have experienced one major traumatic event? Think again.If you grew up in a home where you constantly walked on eggshells, felt responsible for your parents' emotions, never knew what version of Mom or Dad you were going to get, or learned that love had to be earned... there's a chance you've been living with the effe
The Truth About Going No Contact: I Think the New York Times Is Asking the Wrong Question
Send us Fan MailAre therapists really encouraging too many people to go no contact with their parents?The New York Times recently raised that question... and I think they're asking the wrong one.As a trauma therapist who works with adult children of dysfunctional and emotionally immature families every day, I've seen both sides. Going no contact can be life-changing for some people—and c
Dissociation Explained: Why Your Brain "Checks Out" (And How to Come Back)
Send us Fan MailWhat is dissociation, and why does it happen? In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Kayla Reilly explains dissociation in simple, relatable terms so you can understand why your brain "checks out" during stress, conflict, or trauma—and what you can do to reconnect.If you've ever felt numb during an argument, forgotten parts of your childhoo
What Is the Gray Rock Method? (And When Should You Actually Use It?)
Send us Fan MailWhat is the Gray Rock Method, and does it actually work? In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Kayla Reilly breaks down the psychology behind the Gray Rock Method, where it came from, who it was designed for, and how to use it when dealing with emotionally immature parents, narcissistic family members, toxic relationships, or high-conflict people.If you&
How to Handle Passive-Aggressive Comments From Emotionally Immature Family Members
Send us Fan MailPassive-aggressive comments from emotionally immature family members can leave you questioning yourself long after the conversation is over. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Kayla Reilly breaks down the psychology behind passive aggression, why emotionally immature parents and family members rely on it, and how to respond without getting pulled into
Emotional Parentification: When You Became the Adult in the Room
Send us Fan MailWere you the "adult" in your childhood home — managing your parent's moods, mediating fights, or holding everyone else's feelings before you were ever allowed to have your own? That's called emotional parentification, and it's one of the most common (and most overlooked) forms of childhood trauma.In this episode, licensed therapist Kayla breaks down wh
Do You Have Anxiety? Here Are the Signs Nobody Talks About
Send us Fan MailDo you have anxiety… or are you just overwhelmed, overstimulated, and stuck in survival mode?In this episode of Not Your Therapist, licensed therapist Kayla Reilly breaks down the signs of high-functioning anxiety that many women miss — including overthinking, irritability, perfectionism, people pleasing, hypervigilance, and physical symptoms like exhaustion and chest tightness.We’
5 Things Your Parents Taught You That Secretly Fuel Anxiety
Send us Fan MailWhy are you SO good at reading the room?Why does conflict feel like an actual threat to your body?Why do you feel guilty resting, overthink every interaction, and act like everyone else’s emotional support animal?Yeah… your childhood might have something to do with that.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, licensed therapist Kayla Reilly breaks down how growing up around emotiona
The Mother Wound: 5 Ways to Deal With the Mom Stuff You’re Still Carrying
Send us Fan MailMother’s Day can bring up a lot more than brunch plans and flower deliveries. For many people, it brings up grief, guilt, resentment, anxiety, and the complicated reality of loving your mom while still carrying pain from the relationship.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, Kayla Reilly breaks down the mother wound: what it is, how it shows up in adulthood, and why your mom’s voi
Why Friendships Feel Harder in Your 30s (And No One Talks About It)
Send us Fan MailFriendships in your 20s felt easy.Friendships in your 30s? They can feel confusing, inconsistent… and if we’re being honest, a little harder than you expected.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, Kayla is breaking down why adult friendships shift — and why you might find yourself overthinking texts, questioning the vibe after a hangout, or wondering if you’re slowly drifting from
Resentment in Marriage: The Slow Build That’s Hurting Your Relationship
Send us Fan MailResentment in marriage doesn’t usually come from one big moment.It builds slowly… quietly… and often without you even realizing it.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re talking about how resentment actually forms in relationships — and why so many couples find themselves feeling irritated, disconnected, and emotionally distant without fully understanding why.Because more oft
Narcissism 101: What It Actually Is (And What It Isn’t)
Send us Fan MailEveryone is a narcissist these days… at least according to the internet.But what does narcissism actually mean? And more importantly — how do you know if you’re dealing with it in real life?In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down narcissism in a way that’s clear, grounded, and actually useful.Kayla starts with the original story of Narcissus and Echo — a myth tha
The Parenting Trap That Creates Entitlement (Without You Realizing It)
Send us Fan MailTantrums are one of the most triggering parts of parenting… and if we’re being honest, sometimes it feels easier to just give in and make it stop.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re talking about what tantrums actually mean, why giving in backfires, and how well-meaning parents unintentionally reinforce entitled behavior without realizing it.Because here’s the truth: It’s
It’s Not About the Puppies: Why You Overcommit When You’re Already Drowning
Send us Fan MailYou’re overwhelmed. Your schedule is full. You’re already stretched thin……and somehow, you still say yes to more.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down why people overcommit when they’re already drowning — and why this isn’t actually a time management problem.Using a real-life example (yes… including fostering puppies at the worst possible time), we dive into th
Why You Shut Down in Arguments
Send us Fan MailDo you go quiet during conflict?Do you say “I’m fine” when you’re clearly not?Or do you suddenly feel overwhelmed and need to escape the conversation entirely?In this episode, we’re breaking down why people emotionally shut down in arguments — and what’s actually happening in your nervous system when conflict feels like too much.We’ll talk about:What shutting down feels like intern
Perfectionism Is Making You Miserable (And You Call It ‘Standards’)
Send us Fan MailYou don’t think you’re a perfectionist. You just “have high standards.”You care. You’re driven. You like things done right.So why are you exhausted?In this episode, we’re unpacking the psychology of perfectionism — what it actually is, why it develops, and how it quietly fuels anxiety, burnout, procrastination, and relationship strain.Perfectionism isn’t about excellence. It’s abou
Why You’re Attracted to Emotionally Unavailable People
Send us Fan MailWhy do emotionally unavailable people feel magnetic?Why does the hot-and-cold person spark chemistry… while the consistent, emotionally available one feels “boring”?If you keep finding yourself attracted to partners who pull away, avoid vulnerability, or struggle with emotional intimacy — this episode is for you.Today we’re breaking down the psychology behind attraction patterns, a
Why You Overthink Everything
Send us Fan MailDo you replay conversations before bed? Rewrite texts multiple times before sending? Second-guess decisions long after they’re made?You’re not alone — and you’re not “just anxious.”In this episode, we’re breaking down the psychology of overthinking and rumination, especially in high-functioning adults navigating careers, leadership, relationships, and big life decisions.Overthinkin
TOOLBOX: The Ladder Method to Beat Procrastination & Task Paralysis
Send us Fan MailDo you ever stare at a task for 30 minutes… and still can’t start?In this ADHD Toolbox episode, I’m walking you through a simple, practical strategy you can use immediately when you feel stuck, overwhelmed, or frozen: The Ladder Method.If you struggle with ADHD paralysis, procrastination, executive dysfunction, or perfectionism, this tool will help you lower the activation energy r
ADHD Treatment: Medication, Therapy & What Actually Works
Send us Fan Mailn this episode, we break down what really works when it comes to ADHD treatment — and why it’s not about fixing your personality or forcing yourself to “try harder.”You’ll learn:The surprising story of how ADHD medication was discovered (it was accidental)Why stimulants calm the ADHD brain instead of hyping it upThe difference between stimulant and non-stimulant medications — and h
ADHD vs. Anxiety: Why They Feel So Similar
Send us Fan MailDo you have anxiety… or ADHD… or both?If you’ve ever felt constantly overwhelmed, distracted, restless, or stuck in procrastination — this episode is for you.ADHD and anxiety can look almost identical from the outside. Trouble focusing. Racing thoughts. Avoidance. Irritability. Sleep issues. Chronic overwhelm.But the why underneath is very different.In this episode, we break down:W
Why You Feel Like a Fraud (Even When You’re Doing Well)
Send us Fan MailYou got the promotion. You built the business. You stepped into the new role. You’re doing well.So why do you secretly feel like a fraud?In this episode, we’re unpacking imposter syndrome — why it shows up during success, why it’s so common in your late 20s, 30s, and early 40s, and what’s actually happening in your brain when self-doubt creeps in.Spoiler: Imposter syndrome isn’t pr
ADHD 101: Why Life Feels Harder Than It Should
Send us Fan MailEver wonder why everyday tasks feel exhausting, overwhelming, or harder for you than they seem for everyone else? In this episode, we’re breaking down ADHD in a way that actually makes sense — especially for adults who’ve spent years thinking something was “wrong” with them.As a therapist, I see so many clients who feel scattered, behind, emotionally reactive, or inconsistent despi
TOOLBOX: Using Your Container — An Emotional Regulation Skill for Overwhelm
Send us Fan MailWhen emotions spike, it’s easy to feel flooded, anxious, or unable to focus. This TOOLBOX episode teaches you how to use your container—a simple, EMDR-informed emotional regulation skill—to manage overwhelming thoughts and feelings without suppressing them.If you’ve already created a container, this episode shows you how to use it in real-life moments: when anxiety rises, intrusive
TOOLBOX: Create Your Container — An Emotional Regulation Skill for Overwhelm
Send us Fan MailWhen emotions feel overwhelming, it can be hard to focus, think clearly, or stay present. This TOOLBOX episode teaches you how to create your container, a simple, EMDR-informed emotional regulation skill designed to help your nervous system feel safer and more organized.In this guided episode, you’ll be walked through how to create a mental container that can safely hold difficult
Why Grieving Feels Harder Today: The Loss of Ritual and How to Heal
Send us Fan MailGrief feels heavier today—and it’s not just because loss is painful.In this episode, we explore how the loss of ritual in modern life has made grieving harder, lonelier, and more confusing than it used to be. For centuries, religion and culture provided structured grief rituals—like funerals, shiva, memorials, prayer, and communal mourning—that helped people process loss in a conta
4 Minutes a Day to a Better Relationship
Send us Fan MailWhat if improving your relationship didn’t require therapy homework, long talks, or weekly date nights?In this episode, we’re breaking down how just 4 intentional minutes a day can dramatically strengthen your relationship—using principles from attachment theory that apply to marriage, parenting, and family life.You’ll learn about the four key moments every day that matter most for
3 Ways to Set Better Boundaries This Year
Send us Fan MailIf setting boundaries is on your New Year list… but you already feel guilty just thinking about it, this episode is for you.In this episode, I break down 3 realistic ways to set better boundaries this year — without over-explaining, people-pleasing, or blowing up your relationships.We’ll explore why boundaries feel so hard, what’s actually happening in your nervous system, and how
Hormones & Mental Health: Why HRT Could Be a Game-Changer
Send us Fan MailWe talk a lot about anxiety and depression—but what if the root cause is your hormones? Hormonal imbalance is showing up earlier and more often than it did two decades ago, and it impacts everything from your sleep to your sex drive to your ability to feel joy.In this episode, I’m unpacking why hormone issues are becoming more common, how they can masquerade as mental health strugg
Triggers 101: Understanding Your Reactions
Send us Fan MailYou’re having a normal day—coffee in hand, scrolling your phone—and suddenly your chest tightens, your heart races, and you’re spiraling. That’s a trigger. But what exactly does it mean to be “triggered”?In this episode, I’m breaking down what triggers really are (spoiler: they’re your nervous system’s way of trying to protect you), how to recognize when you’re in the middle of one
Likeability Isn’t Luck: Easy Tips to Boost Your Charisma
Send us Fan MailEver met someone who just has it—that mix of confidence, warmth, and magnetism that makes people lean in? That’s charisma. And good news: it’s not some magical personality trait you’re either born with or not—it’s a skill you can actually practice.In this episode, I’m breaking down what charisma really is (hint: it’s equal parts warmth and competence), why it matters more than smar
EMDR Explained: What It Is and Who It’s For
Send us Fan MailEver wondered what EMDR actually is—or why everyone from trauma therapists to TikTok is talking about it? In this episode, I’m breaking down Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (aka EMDR) in plain English. We’ll cover how it works, what the science says, and who it’s really for. I’ll also share how EMDR has impacted me personally and what I’ve seen in my own clients—becau
#29 Boundary Boot Camp: From People-Pleaser to Self-Protector
Send us Fan MailThe word "boundaries" has become such a buzzword that many people throw it around without truly understanding what it means. But what exactly are boundaries, and why do so many of us struggle to set them effectively?Boundaries aren't about controlling others—they're guidelines for what you will and won't allow in your life. The key distinction lies in takin
BONUS: Love Island UK Season 12 — A Therapist Breaks Down Harrison, Lauren & Toni
Send us Fan MailEver found yourself drawn to someone who couldn't quite decide if they wanted you? The Harrison-Lauren-Tony love triangle from Love Island UK Season 12 offers a perfect case study in toxic relationship patterns that might feel eerily familiar.This captivating analysis breaks down the psychological dynamics at play when a charming but emotionally withholding person keeps multip
#28 Emotional Incest: When Parents Cross the Line
Send us Fan MailHave you ever felt responsible for a parent's emotional wellbeing? Been called "the only one they can talk to" or "their rock"? That special closeness you felt might actually have been something therapists call emotional incest—a hidden form of boundary violation that shapes how we connect with others well into adulthood.Emotional incest occurs when a paren
#27 The Only Child – Mature, Independent… and Maybe a Little Emotionally Overloaded
Send us Fan MailWere you the only child who was “so mature for your age”—but never really got to be a kid? In this episode, we dive into what it’s really like growing up without siblings and how that shapes your identity, relationships, and emotional habits as an adult.Drawing from birth order psychology and Family Systems Theory, we explore how only children miss the sibling subsystem—your first
#26 The Youngest Child – Fun, Free-Spirited, or Forever the Baby?
Send us Fan MailAre you the youngest child who’s always been seen as “the fun one”—but never quite taken seriously? In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re breaking down the psychology of the youngest child: how being the “baby” of the family shapes your personality, relationships, and sense of identity.We explore how youngest kids often become the entertainer or escape artist, the impact of
#25 The Middle Child – Chameleon, Peacemaker, or Just Forgotten?
Send us Fan MailWere you the middle child—the one who stayed out of the way, kept the peace, and quietly handled your own emotional needs? You’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the psychology of middle child syndrome, emotional distancing, and why so many middle children become chronic people-pleasers or “distancers” in adulthood.We’ll talk about how middle chi
#24 The Eldest Child – CEO in Training or Resentful Parent #2?
Send us Fan MailAre you the firstborn and secretly exhausted? You’re not alone. In this episode, we dive deep into the eldest child experience—how being the “responsible one” often leads to perfectionism, people-pleasing, burnout, and emotional overfunctioning in adulthood.If you were basically a third parent growing up, this one’s for you. We’ll talk about parentification, high-achiever syndrome,
#23 Why Birth Order Actually Matters (Yes, Even If You’re 35 and Over It)
Send us Fan MailDid your family birth order shape your personality? Spoiler: yep. In this episode, we explore how birth order influences your identity, temperament, and adult relationships. Whether you're the eldest child, middle child, youngest, or only child, this episode helps you understand how your role in the family still shows up in your life today.You’ll learn the psychology behind bi
#22 Why Rest Feels Impossible: Understanding Your Productivity Addiction
Send us Fan MailEver feel like you're constantly running on a productivity treadmill, unable to step off without experiencing overwhelming guilt and anxiety? You're not alone. What looks like ambition and high achievement might actually be anxiety masquerading as motivation – and over time, it can evolve into something more concerning.In this revealing episode, we explore how childhood m
#21 Validate Yourself in 3 Steps and Build Confidence
Send us Fan MailEver hit a milestone and still feel... kinda hollow? Or find yourself needing everyone else’s opinion before you can trust your own? Been there. And spoiler alert: It’s not because you’re broken.It’s because most of us were raised in homes where self-validation wasn’t modeled—so now we second-guess everything from our feelings to our freaking lunch order. In this episode, I’m break
#20 Emotional Invalidation: Why You Feel Small In Your Own Family
Send us Fan MailThe quiet dismissal of your feelings? That sh*t cuts deeper than yelling ever could.When someone avoids eye contact, scrolls their phone mid-convo, or chuckles at your story like it’s a joke—they might not say anything cruel, but your nervous system still gets the memo: You don’t matter here.After a recent family visit left me feeling invisible and low-key spiraling, I had to unpac
#19 Divorced But Not Damaged: What NOT to Do If You Don’t Want to Mess Up Your Kids with Dr. Larry Waldman
Send us Fan MailDr. Larry Waldman brings decades of forensic psychology experience to this raw, insightful conversation about the hidden casualties of divorce – the children caught in the crossfire between warring parents. Drawing from twenty years as the expert judges called on during high-conflict custody battles, Dr. Waldman exposes the psychological damage inflicted when parents prioritize the
#18 Career Burnout Is Real—Here’s How to Bounce Back with Dr. Jesseca Tighe
Send us Fan MailAre you staring at your calendar wondering how you'll face another workday? That crushing exhaustion isn't just tiredness—it's burnout, and it's reached epidemic levels among high-achievers and caregivers.In this eye-opening conversation with psychologist Dr. Jessica Tai, we dive into the science behind workplace burnout, revealing why it's now an official
#17 Struggling to Be Heard? How to Improve Communication in Love + Life with Erin Darden
Send us Fan MailEver wondered why it's so hard to simply ask for what you need in relationships? Former attorney turned emotional intelligence coach Erin Darden brings clarity to this struggle, revealing how societal expectations, fear of rejection, and our own internalized guilt create barriers to honest communication."You can't pour from an empty cup, but women do it all the time,
#16 Emotional Intimacy in Long-Term Relationships: What You’re Missing and How to Get It Back with Amy Phillips LCSW
Send us Fan MailStruggling to feel close to your partner in a long-term relationship? Tired of fighting about the same things over and over—like dishes, chores, or who's doing bedtime? You’re not alone—and the issue probably isn’t what you think it is.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, I sit down with couples and individual therapist Amy Phillips, one of our seasoned clinicians at Evoluti
#15 Where’s the Manual? Navigating Motherhood & Finding Community with Amanda Hofmann, The Wilmington Mom
Send us Fan MailWhen Amanda Hofmann became a mom in January 2020—just as the world shut down—her life took a wild turn. A seasoned event planner suddenly found herself navigating new motherhood, postpartum anxiety, and total isolation. So what did she do? She strapped her baby into a stroller, started walking the parks of Wilmington, NC… and accidentally created one of the most loved parenting res
#14 Self-Worth, Diet Culture, and Breaking Free from Food Guilt with Emma Townsin
Send us Fan MailYour Body Isn’t the Enemy—It’s Fighting for YouDiet culture has fed us a lie: that thinness equals health, worth, and discipline. But what if everything you’ve been taught about food and your body is wrong? Specialist eating disorder dietitian Emma Townsin is here to flip the script on restrictive diets, emotional eating, and why your body isn’t sabotaging you—it’s actually trying
#12 Therapists Spill the Tea: What We Wish Clients Knew with Darrian Pelkey MSW, LCSWA
Send us Fan MailEver wonder what your therapist really thinks about you? 🤔 In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed therapist Darrian Pelkey, MSW, LCSWA, joins me to spill the tea on what goes on behind the scenes in therapy.We’re pulling back the curtain on the things therapists wish clients knew—from common misconceptions about therapy to what we actually think when you apologize
#13 Desire Disasters: What Kills Your Sex Drive & How to Get It Back with Shie Benisti LCSW
Send us Fan MailStruggling with low libido? Feeling disconnected from your partner? You're not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist Podcast, licensed sex therapist Shie Benisti, LCSW, CST, joins us to break down the real reasons why sexual desire fluctuates—and what you can do to bring intimacy back.We dive into the mental, emotional, and relational blocks that impact desire, includin
Shrink Shots: Therapy Terms 101 – Emotional Regulation – How to Stop Flipping Out (Even When They Deserve It)
Send us Fan MailEver feel like your emotions hijack your brain before you even have a chance to think? Emotional regulation is the key to handling stress, frustration, and overwhelm without exploding (or shutting down). In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down what emotional regulation actually means, why it’s so hard sometimes, and how to stop flipping out—even when someone totally
Shrink Shots: Therapy Terms 101 – Emotions – What the Hell Are They & Why Do We Have Them?
Send us Fan MailEver wondered why you have emotions—or why they sometimes feel like they’re running your entire life? In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we’re breaking down the science behind emotions, what they’re actually trying to tell you, and how to deal with them without letting them take over. Spoiler alert: Your emotions aren’t the enemy—they’re data. You just need to know how to read the
#11 Rethinking Health: How to Ditch All-or-Nothing Thinking and Make Wellness Work for You with Liz Rodriguez
Send us Fan MailEver feel like you’re either all in on health—meal prepping, intense workouts, cutting out everything fun—or completely off the wagon? That all-or-nothing mindset is exhausting, unsustainable, and (spoiler alert) not the key to long-term health.In this episode, I sit down with health coach Liz Rodriguez to reframe what real wellness looks like. We’re ditching the toxic perfectionis
Shrink Shots: Therapy Terms 101 – Reparenting – Giving Yourself the Childhood You Wish You Had
Send us Fan MailDid your childhood leave you with some emotional gaps? Enter reparenting—the process of giving yourself the love, support, and validation you may not have received growing up. In this quick Shrink Shots episode, we break down what reparenting is, why it matters, and how you can start healing old wounds by becoming the nurturing, compassionate parent you needed. Learn practical stra
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Dissociation – When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma Response
Send us Fan MailDissociation: When ‘Zoning Out’ Is Actually a Trauma ResponseEver found yourself zoning out mid-conversation or realizing you don’t remember the last five minutes of your drive? You’re not alone. This might be dissociation, a psychological defense mechanism that helps protect the brain from stress and trauma.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:✅ What dissociation is and
#10 The Gut-Brain Connection: How Your Diet Impacts Anxiety and Depression
Send us Fan MailDid you know your gut is your “second brain”? The connection between your gut and brain, known as the gut-brain axis, plays a huge role in your mental health. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we explore how what you eat can impact anxiety, depression, and your overall mood.Learn why your gut health matters, the signs of gut imbalance, and the foods that can either harm or hea
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Cognitive Distortions – Your Brain Is Lying to You (And You Don’t Even Know It)
Send us Fan MailYour brain is constantly filtering reality, but what if those filters are twisting the truth? Cognitive distortions are sneaky thought patterns that make you believe things that aren’t actually true—and they’re a major reason behind anxiety, relationship problems, and low self-esteem.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:✅ What cognitive distortions are and how they
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Projection – Are You Mad at Them, or at Yourself?
Send us Fan MailEver find yourself getting irrationally annoyed at someone, only to realize later that you were actually mad at yourself? Or maybe someone accused you of something completely off-base, and you thought, Wait… that’s not me, that’s YOU!? That, my friends, is projection, one of the sneakiest defense mechanisms that can wreck relationships and keep us from real self-awareness.In this e
#9 The Science Behind Toddler Tantrums: Understanding Triggers for Parents
Send us Fan MailToddler tantrums are tough, but they’re also a normal (albeit exhausting) part of parenting. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re diving into the chaos of meltdowns to help you survive them with your sanity intact. You’ll learn why tantrums happen, what’s going on in your child’s brain during a meltdown, and why reasoning with them is impossible in the heat of the moment.We
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Boundaries – No, They’re Not Just a Buzzword (Here’s How to Use Them)
Send us Fan MailSetting boundaries isn’t about controlling others—it’s about protecting your time, energy, and mental health. But here’s where most people get stuck: they set a boundary but don’t actually enforce it. If you say, “I won’t tolerate yelling,” but stick around when someone raises their voice, your boundary isn’t doing anything.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:✅ What boun
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Differentiation – How to Stop Absorbing Everyone Else’s Crazy
Send us Fan MailEver feel like you’re losing yourself in a relationship? Maybe your mood depends on your partner’s mood, or you avoid conflict to keep the peace. That’s a differentiation problem—and it’s one of the biggest reasons people struggle with boundaries, emotional independence, and self-worth in relationships.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re breaking down:✅ What differentiation actu
#8 What’s Your Attachment Style? How It Shapes Your Relationships & Emotional Connections
Send us Fan MailHave you ever wondered why you react the way you do in relationships? Your attachment style is the blueprint for how you connect with others—shaped by early experiences and influencing everything from romantic relationships to friendships and even work dynamics.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we dive deep into the four attachment styles—secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorga
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Insight – The ‘Oh Sh*t’ Moment That Actually Changes Things
Send us Fan MailYou’ve had that oh sht* moment—where suddenly, your entire past, your relationships, or your behaviors just click. That’s insight, one of the biggest game-changers in therapy. But here’s the catch: insight alone doesn’t fix anything.In this episode of Shrink Shots, we break down:✅ What insight actually is & why it’s crucial for growth✅ Why just knowing your patterns isn’t enoug
SHRINK SHOTS: Therapy Terms 101 – Validation – Why ‘Just Get Over It’ Is the Worst Advice Ever
Send us Fan MailEver feel dismissed when you open up about something important? Validation is more than just a "nice-to-have"—it's a core emotional need that affects how we connect with others and how we see ourselves. In this episode of Shrink Shots, we’re diving into:✅ Why validation matters for mental health & relationships✅ Where we often seek validation (and why it backfire
#7 Gaslighting in Relationships: How to Handle Manipulation from Someone You Love
Send us Fan MailHave you ever been told, “You’re overreacting” or “That never happened”? Gaslighting is a toxic form of emotional manipulation that can make you question your own reality—especially when it comes from a partner, family member, or friend.In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re diving deep into gaslighting in relationships—what it is, key signs of gaslighting, and why people use
#6: Codependence is Not a Love Language
Send us Fan MailLet’s get real: codependence is NOT a love language, no matter how much you’re telling yourself it is. In this episode, I’m breaking down the sneaky ways codependence shows up in your relationships (and in your life), why it’s toxic AF, and how to stop playing the role of fixer-upper. Plus, we’re throwing in some spicy psychology debate on whether codependence is even a real thing
#5: 5 Signs it's Time to Fire Your Therapist
Send us Fan MailLet’s talk about the elephant in the room: sometimes your therapist just isn’t cutting it. In this episode, I’m spilling the tea on 5 major red flags that scream it’s time to break up with your therapist. Whether they’re stuck in neutral, forgetting who you are, or letting you spiral without accountability, it’s time to demand better. Tune in for the no-BS guide to spotting the sig
#4 Loving Your Parents Without Losing Your Mind: Navigating Difficult Family Dynamics
Send us Fan MailFamily relationships: they’re messy, beautiful, and sometimes make you want to scream into a pillow. In this episode, we’re diving into the art of Loving Your Parents Without Losing Your Mind. Whether you’re navigating passive-aggressive comments, impossible expectations, or just trying to survive holiday dinners, I’ve got you covered.Here’s what we’ll explore:How different parenta
#3: Mindfulness That Doesn’t Make You Want to Eye Roll
Send us Fan MailIf the word mindfulness makes you want to roll your eyes and run for the hills, you’re not alone. In this episode of Not Your Therapist, we’re cutting through the fluff and diving into real, relatable ways to practice mindfulness that won’t feel like a chore or make you cringe.Whether you’re a busy professional, a parent juggling a million things, or just someone trying to keep you
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